| Over 2000 Fun Logic Bloopers! |
| The DAYS OF OUR LIVES Cafe presents ... |
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| Don't hate me because I'm funny ... |
| Updated as of May 2, 2008 - Link Only! Prepare to be SPOILERIZED According to rumor, the show was about to put Tony and Anna on the back burner but now that Thaao Penghlis (Tony) has been nominated for an Emmy for best LEAD actor in a daytime drama, they are just gonna have to keep giving him mucho airtime - so there! Bo is about to go back to his old ways of growling and threatening his adversaries. Man, he’ll be like this even when he has a cane! Lexie and Abe are about to have marital problems. That means they’re still married. Who knew? Undergroomed Dr. Dan and underfed Chelsea. Does anyone even care about this bed pan romance...? Megahot Joe Penny (Martino) is 51 and Stephen Nichols (Patch) is 55 and dated his daughter. No wonder the guy is mad! Stephanie acts about as mature as Hannah Montana while boyfriend Max goes for those Bart Simpson expressions. A match made in cartoon heaven! Yes, we know it’s nice, but Hope is almost always in that same freakin gold top! NEXT ON DAYS Dex Dexter John asks Crystal Marlena to renew their vows (Dynasty talk y’all) Vitali has his associates take out the ten most boring characters (yay!) and the ratings soar as a result … Updated as of April 3, 2008 - Link Only! Prepare to be SPOILERIZED Stephanie’s folks need to get a refund on her college courses cos she can’t even figure out that Max is telling her the docks are kinda dangerous because they really are. Silly goose! After Vic has just toasted Phil for his unwavering loyalty, the prodigal son is about to make a secret deal with Nicole, right behind daddy dearest’s back, naughty boy! Meanwhile, Chloe continues her best deer looking in the headlights pose … Dr. Dan talks about Kate’s great bod, Nicole’s hotness, his hobby as a surfer dude, not to mention losing his shirt at the casino. Despite being a great (diseased?) doc about town, he is more arrogant playboy bum than good catch material. Kate and Chelsea need to get the wax removed from their ears … Nicole used to be fearful of Victor having her killed but not now. There is only one explanation. That cute little 6 inch pooch she carries with her must be a well trained attack dog in disguise, proficient in twelve martial arts and canine poop defense … Kate’s righteous indignation about Nicole is surely the pot calling the kettle black, considering that Kate has tried to kill Vic twice (once with a hitman, another time wth a poker) and she also set the whole freakin Kiriakis mansion on fire! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. Rolf admits that Stephanie is a Chloe clone gone wrong … Updated as of March 28, 2008 Prepare to be SPOILERIZED Steve is about to go meet Ava of crime family fame without the Salem P.D., ISA, Interpol, etc. as backup. The dude’s patch must be too tight, squeezing on them brain cells … Chelsea is about to throw herself at Dr. Dan, whom she thinks is soooo wonderful. Guess she is into doctors who break the Hippocratic oath, cos that’s just what he did when he jokingly implied there was something wrong with her the other day – an inappropriate joke which could have caused harm to the patient by stressing her out post-op. Doh! In addition, Chelsea needs a hair wash and Bo and Dr. Dan need a shave. Daytime tv is supposed to be attractive! These folks need grooming pointers from the rest of the Kiriakis clan … Meanwhile, where was supposedly doting grandma Kate when Chelsea was released from hospital huh …? Phil is quite the hussy, making eyes at Morgan one day, almost locking lips with black widow Chloe the next. Must be those playboy Kiriakis genes in action so then he isn’t such a nice guy after all, it seems (but heck, we’ll take him, good or bad!) NEXT ON DAYS John buys Marlena NBC and finally gets her attention … Updated as of March 13, 2008 Prepare to be SPOILERIZED How could Patch help Bo’s family? And Bo does have a brother called Roman, who is now oddly MIA. Plus, Bo and Hope are about to find out just how safe being associated with Patchman is, given his past contacts. And it’ll take Hope’s smarts to clean up the whole mess! Meanwhile, this whole scenario of Shawn and Belle hoping to sail around the world just when Bo seems to be croaking ain’t exactly … sensitive, not to mention that Shawn is not the world’s greatest sailor, as he once insisted on taking Willow out for a spin on the boat - right into a storm! Interesting how Bo is the only patient in the entire hospital. The Salem P.D. must have one heck of a medical plan! So we now hear there is a donor. Ummm no, that would be a match. Once the person agrees to get cut up, risk their life or serious health complications then we will have a donor. Whatever. NEXT ON DAYS Ava mistakes Johnny Dep for Steve … Steve mistakes Angelina Jolie for Ava … Johnny Dep mistakes “Days of Our Lives” for “21 Jump Street.” Updated as of March 6, 2008 - Link Only! Prepare to be SPOILERIZED Gee, everyone loves to hang out at the docks in winter, all of a sudden. Just wait till John reclaims his turf! Felonista or no, Ava could still get her pop in hot water for forcible confinement … Bo is unwell and we all know he will be fine after the oh-so- dangerous surgery, the main point being that we are reminded that Bo is actually Victor’s biological son. No problemo. What is a problemo is Chelsea has been sniffling and snorting up a storm. And now that the Ford Decker story is dead and buried, how about having actor Matthew Florida back to play perhaps the good twin? Matthew would have been a great addition as a young romantic male lead, but then his storyline got butchered. Wake up, Days! Gotta love Rolfski, but if he thinks John’s disc of memories poses a threat to him, why not just destroy the dang thing?! Cos then the upcoming intrigue might not be so intriguing … NEXT ON DAYS Chelsea apologizes again, just so she can insert the word ME into yet another sentence … Updated as of February 29, 2008 - Link Only! Prepare to be SPOILERIZED Claire and John rock the house with their adorable chemistry goin on! In addition, we get a Claire who loves everyone and the viewers cheer until ... Shawn and Belle and Claire are soon gonna go bye bye! Holy tactical error! Shelle and co. are now together and happy, Belle would be a great nurse at the hospital, Shawn has finally come into his own, not to mention that his real-life gal pal Nadia (Chloe) is on the same show. Makes for an interesting dynamic. But we are getting robbed! Meanwhile … Amazing! EJ’s M.B.A. has now morphed into a law degree! But we won’t nitpick, seeing as bartender Chris Kosichek got his law degree part time years ago, only to return to Salem as blue collar cop Roman Brady … And Anna has more sense than John or Tony, for she still feels Stefano’s presence. Boy are those two in trouble when the Phoenix rises! Speaking of the phoenix, where is that powerful, majestic bird anyhow? Contract dispute …? NEXT ON DAYS The Brady pub announces that Thursdays will now be phoenix wings night … Fidel brings John more cigars and claims he is a DiMera, too, though he lost his marbles years ago and is now on a quest to find them ... Updated as of February 25, 2008 - Link Only! Prepare to be SPOILERIZED Ava the stalker says she wants Patch and has an opportunity to abduct him - and she will again and again - yet she does not. Instead, she is about to set her sights on tormenting Hope, whom she mistakes for Kayla. And we are supposed to believe the broad could have masterminded the plane sabotage – not! That having been said, the suspense is still lotsa fun … Meanwhile In the real world, the young generation is active in the environment, politics, technology, but not Salem’s flaky Sorority Spice Girls, who hold a vote on whether or not Chelsea talking when she wasn’t supposed to is ok with them. Seconds later all is forgiven by lead Spice Girl Morgan, who throws the first hug. Patchman calls the unborn baby Peanut. First Pocket, now Peanut! Hope the tot’s middle name ain’t gonna be Butter … Why do people always take Claire off to get candy or ice cream? The poor kid would be toothless by now. Max continues to speak of his DAD, Stephanie's GRANDPA. We have been robbed, people! Still no sighting of Shawn Sr.’s ghost! Santo and Cawaleena got ghosts. Talk about ageism! NEXT ON DAYS Lexie admits she got her medical license online for nine dollars and twenty-nine cents, plus tax … Updated as of February 19, 2008 - Link Only! Prepare to be SPOILERIZED Houston, we have a problem … Max has just defined himself as a true Brady who considers his adoptive parents “Mom” and “Pop,” And his “Mom and Pop” just happen to be the Mom and Pop of Stephanie’s mother. So he has just clearly defined himself as Stephanie’s uncle. It will not be possible for the genetically challenged writers who came up with this idea of making Max a true and blue Brady to get out of this one, unless Max’s biological parents show up. And ‘till they do … ewwww, pulease don’t let those two kiss anymore! Another spoiler issue concerns how darn cute Claire is with grandad John cos now her li’l family will sail away for a while! Shucks. Let Claire at least stay with John and Marlena on the holidays, ok …? Lastly but not leastly, despite a certain request, DaysCafe will NOT go to bat for the fired writer responsible for the organ theft, psycho Steve storylines. So, See ya! NEXT ON DAYS The Greenland snow camp is overrun by autograph seeking polar bears … John fires more psychedelic flares in the air … Bo dreams of Woodstock … Updated as of February 11, 2008 - Link Only! Here comes another wacky spoiler. Prepare to be SPOILERIZED First of all, nice we got to see Shirley Jones as Colleen – for all of a week! Next time the leaked spoiler Gods at the show oughtta warn us when the appearance is gonna be a magnificent one that’s gone in the blink of an Irish eye … Now, to get to the above mentioned wacky spoiler. Sami swears to love Lucas forever and gets closer to EJ. That’s about it. The LUMI fans assume it means LUMI foreva but the EJAMI fans assume it means EJAMI be the future. That’s cos that’s what they’re supposed to think. EJAMI and LUMI fans need to have a convention, seeing as they are both getting jerked around big time here. Stop the insanity! Meanwhile, So much for a happy Brady reunion. Two deaths on the menu and a plane crash! The Catholic Church (or charch if yer Colleen) actually favors earth burial to crematin and scatterin … Colleen didn’t seem ta be on her last leg up till the last second. And Shawn Sr.’s family let him reunite with his long lost sister for all of 30 seconds before they shoved him out of the room. Does he get tossed from the plane, too? No so pro Doc Lexie, chief of staff for less than 24 hrs, gossips about Kayla’s pregnancy before telling the patient about it! Enough of the poopoo type visit! Show us Tony’s swanky office! NEXT ON DAYS LUMI and EJAMI fans unionize and demand Sami have an identical twin sister … John confesses he sees green tea green tea everywhere … Updated as of February 4, 2008 - Link Only! Our blooper du jour (of da day) is about a spoiler so please only read ahead if ya don’t mind. Those who remain … Prepare to be Spoilerized! We now call your attention to none other than the carefully leaked spoiler (oh puleease, they are always leaked!) about a Days of our Lives vet getting killed off. Well, that’s news to a lot of viewers, cos the vet turns out to be Shawn Brady Sr. Hear that sound? It is the sound of millions of Days viewers scratching their heads in unison, caught off guard as NO ONE EVEN KNEW THE MAN WAS STILL ON THE FREAKIN SHOW! When the decision of his demise was made, it is true, he was shown for a milli-second here or there, but before that time, some remembered last seeing him for all of 3 seconds, walking away bored as Colleen and Santo’s summer letters were read. Shawn Sr. runs the pub, yet Patch, Shawn, slaphappy Caroline, extras, and even newbie Crawford Decker were seen there more often. But technically he is a VET and he does die from a lack of oxygen on a wayward plane after we see him again, so the spoiler that a vet dies is deemed accurate. Then again, VET is also the abbreviated form of veterinarian or war veteran, so who knows what future spoilers will bring … NEXT ON DAYS The show releases the following shocking spoiler: A well known character dies! Egads! (as it turns out, the well known character will be Larry Welch, who was already believed dead and had not been on the show for years. No matter. The character of Larry Welch will be officially killed off, in an off-screen February chimney sweeps storyline … ) Updated as of January 22, 2008 - Link Only! Like sands through the hourglass, so are the bedpans of our lives, at least for Belle and John, both of whom have been stuck at the hospital way too long. I am with John – he should do whatever he has to, to get outta that dang bed so we can at least see him do something besides lie around! Well, EJ is worried that Stefano will take action against his young family but still brings the box with the rattle into his home, assuming it is from Stefano! That box and/or rattle might have contained gases or even a bomb! Silly silly. Next day (for us that is) the triangle continues, with Lucas calling Sami. Sami and EJ and Sami and Lucas blah blah blah. Same old flip flopping. As for Kayla’s pantfest … geesh, she musta been hanging around the Playboy mansion lately! Is Heff gonna do a cameo? And yet Marcus Patrick of Playgirl fame gets fired! Meanwhile, the leg irons in prison seem like a throwback to the Middle Ages. Where’s Uncle Micky when you need him?! NEXT ON DAYS EJ and Sami hide from Stefano at the mall … Updated as of January 9, 2008 - Link Only! There are so many kids waiting to be adopted, why don’t Steve and Kayla go that route? And almost speaking of Pocket, it is still bizarre how the tyke was dropped from the show, given he is a Kiriakis heir … And when is Chloe gonna sing???? So the building of interest is rented to a dummy corporation – the Salem P.D. perhaps? Yuk yuk yuk! Crystal is a lovely girl and mysterious too, so there’s no need to keep frowning, luv … Yesterday’s silliness … Marlena was dressed like a reverend and her hair miraculously got darker on the same day! Kate wears wagon wheels on her ears … Sami goes for a Lion King look … NEXT ON DAYS Frisky Kayla wants sextuplets - now! Updated as of December 19, 2007 - Link Only! Hahaha! Senor Chavez must be a Hugo Chavez clone. The blooper here, though, it that a communistic thug sure wouldn’t wanna help a capitalistic thug and vice versa! Speaking of DiMera-esque countries, what ever happened to the neat DiMera Carpathian castle that was full of designer fascist security police? Stefano in that place would be one dangerous man and viewers would see the extent of his empire first hand … Kate is wrong to compare Phil to Victor. Phil has a role on Days of Our Lives, whereas Victor does not! It would be nice if Cordy did more than whimper and sniffle. It would also be cool to actually see some classes at Salem U., not to mention that Nick is currently the only professor on staff. Sweet Stephanie looks lovely with her hair swept back from her face so there is clearly no need for the Cousin It hairdo the poor girl has been subjected to for months … By the by, remember Abe and Lexie’s son Theo? The show sure doesn’t - cos he too is a DiMera heir! NEXT ON DAYS Hugo Chavez auditions to play the aged version of Will … Updated as of December 13, 2007 - Link Only! Too many of Salem’s gals look like they've been punched in the eye. Time to go easier on the war paint … Poor Shawn. He thinks Belle has made him a clueless criminal. Well, if their relationship can survive that, it should survive just about anything, even if she has morphed into a desperate housewife … Amazing how many resources the Salem P.D. put into tracking down EJ’s shooter yet when EJ shot John (almost to death), they shrugged their shoulders and said they had no proof! And what’s up with the fedex episode? But of course there is a nicely wrapped package with a gun tied to an attempted murder. Salemites aren’t allowed to be swift enough to dump their smoking guns in the water by the docks, are they! NEXT ON DAYS EJ intercepts Lucas’ mail, Chinese food delivery, and Better Homes and Gardens subscription … Updated as of December 11, 2007 - Link Only! Chloe and Stephanie appear to be wearing the same wig/hair extension/whatever. These chicks are certainly deserving of a fun and sassy hairstyle. How come only Chelsea gets to have one …? As Sami jogs around with her doll carriage, EJ eavesdrops on her former hubby with his walkie-talkie, then muttering “Loo kiss” when he discovers just who has a secret gun! Indeed. Colonel Mustard did it in the loo with a kiss! Boy that Cynthia dialogue was strange, when she tried to hit on Phil but refused to even tell him what magazine she worked for … Meanwhile, Salem’s younger blondes – Sami and Belle – seem to have the tick that island girl used to have. Gotta make sure the hair is half over one shoulder, like only a statue would be able to keep … Speaking of Belle, she laments at Chloe "You and Bray got divorced?" NEXT ON DAYS Chloe tells Shawn his grandmother was once seen at a hotel room with Victor Kiriakis ... Updated as of December 4, 2007 - Link Only! The creepy Ford story would have been better suited to Halloween, not the Christmas season! And the same goes for Phil’s macabre dream, which is a pretty bizarre filler. Well, if the sorority chicks are so scared of Ford, you’d think they would have gotten a few jock roommates, an attack dog, or moved elsewhere! But of course this is Salem U., where all that exists is a dean, a rapist, and sorority sisters. There are no classes, majors, degrees, or logic ... Southern belles are certainly a welcome addition to the show, but Morgan is beginning too many sentences with YOWL … Meanwhile, there have been some complaints about Belle’s hair growing a good six inches overnight. Would you believe hormones …? Lucas plays the macho Mediterranean to perfection, so when is the show gonna use his Mediterranean roots in a storyline for real? The camera already sees it … Speaking of Lucas, EJ, and Sami, this is just how things were when charmer EJ first came on the show - he lived across the hall from Sami and pined after her. Poor twins! Doomed to a lifetime of recycled scenarios! NEXT ON DAYS Sami admits she loves Lucas, Elvis Jr., Elmo, and Barney … Ford attacks a tree … Updated as of November 28, 2007 - Link Only! Oh Nick Nick Nick! It’s always the same. Starts as a genius, ends as a silly boy being dragged around by the nose due to Chelsea’s emotional blackmail, all in the name of cowboy – or rather cowgirl – justice! Roman wondering about the stories the mattress could tell makes him sound rather desperate … Time for a date, dude! Poor angry Sami says she has been trying to prevent herself from having a complete nervous breakdown but that there breakdown arrived and has been going on for years now! Ali “sometimes getting this mischievous look in her eye ...” Newsflash. It is called gas! The Salem P.D. asking Marlena if she has a black dress is priceless, since that clue narrows it down to over 50% of the women in the world … NEXT ON DAYS Belle tells Phil that her moral principles would not allow her to spend the night with him for anything less than a million dollars … The Salem P.D. set out to arrest Dorothy's shoes … Updated as of November 20, 2007 - Link Only! Familiar fashion alert! Looks like the tart at the bar is wearing one of Steph’s summer tops … EJ and Sami have spiraled into a whinefest, while Lucas and Sami are now a fightfest. How about getting Stefano a galpal so he is too busy for the vendetta anyhow? And poor EJ, never mind he gets shot, he has to wear that yucky hospital nighty, no designer stuff. Are the DiMeras now on a budget? Mebbe Will shoulda written he wants the show back, too, cos with all this re-written history, Days of Our Lives has left the building! It appears the profs at Salem U didn’t teach those dizzy dame sorority sisters that slander is against the law. Doh! Max got a better education at the garage cos at least he knows how to spell liable! If Belle wants both guys, then the biggest Thanksgiving turkey is gonna be the wedding, cos, once more, the fans have been robbed of romance! Why, even Claire thinks so and has already donned a wig in protest! NEXT ON DAYS Sami tells EJ it’s worth fighting for a new nighty … Will becomes a goat herder in the alps … Updated as of November 14, 2007 - Link Only! So Kate agrees to meet Phil and tell him all about her gun – in a public place! Speaking of Kate, she is right on the money when she says Phillip is more and more like Victor. Now, given that John Aneston (Victor) is hardly on the show – of his own accord, as he chose not to be on contract – why not just give Phil the reins of the Kiriakis empire once and for all? Sighing Sami continues to flipflop between being scared and angry and angry and scared. and Lucas and EJ and EJ and Lucas blah blah blah! And where oh where is Alice Horton???? Meanwhile, Colleen doles out more relationship advice while sounding more and more like Borat … Finally, ya know, if only Roman grew a mustache, he would be just like McCloud, the cool southern cop of the 1970s NBC police drama. He already talks like ‘im. McCloud totally rocked, man. Wasn’t a case that cowboy couldn’t crack … NEXT ON DAYS SuperChels becomes a bounty hunter ... Updated as of November 6, 2007 - Link Only! For the seasonally challenged …The Amalfi coast of Italy does not have too much sun this time of year, as is stated in today’s epi. In fact, the Amalfi November is crisp and can be quite wet, which is why a lot of hotels in the area are closed from November to March! Nice that Nick was invited to an embassy ball for saving the kids of the unknown people. Makes lotsa sense huh! Unknown embassy, unknown country, unknown parents, but the level of secrecy is so high that the ball to honor the kidnapped kids' hero is announced for all potential enemies to hear about! Belle sure left the door open enough for Phil to get an eyeful! So basically Shawn is labeled a felon by the Police Commission but told he can still re-apply! NEXT ON DAYS Elmer Fudd shoots EJ ... |