Over 2000 Fun Logic Bloopers!
The DAYS OF OUR LIVES Cafe presents ...
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Don't hate me because I'm funny ...

Updated as of September 2, 2008 - Link Only!

Crikey, the DiMera mansion got more crowded than a Hilton Hotel convention! Stefano returns, now all he needs is a woman. But wait! Either because the thought of wedding a naughty grandma who
bedded her granddaughter's beau is appealing or just cos she is so
sick he wants to cheer her up, here comes the marriage proposal for Kate! What will Dan say? After all, the horny toad - oops, I mean doctor - who would be Chelsea's boyfriend had body language that gravitated more toward Kate when claiming to want Chelsea. Meanwhile, Chelsea will see Nick with Melanie boohoohoo, he ain't available to kick to the curb anymore, not by her anyway. Mel the shrieker now has that dubious distinction, but her papa Trent is evil
and her bro Max the race car driver turned pub worker turned genius turned French race car driver without a car (or the ability to speak French) is in danger cos of Trent and his dangerous phone and dangerous music that follows him around! We all are in danger,
folks. We are in danger of losing our minds ...!
Meanwhile, Stefano has corrupt contacts. Who knew?!

Putin takes on Horton the tiger ...

Updated as of August 14, 2008 - Link Only!

From the sounds of it, Phil is about to engage in some emotional
flip-flopping between feelings for Morgan and Chloe. Please not another - ok here comes that dreaded word - TRIANGLE! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

Nicole says she has fallen for EJ, Phil warns her he's not trustworthy and presto Nicole will suddenly see him and Sami kissing on the security camera. The next step will be for Nicole and Chloe to conspire to hang onto their men because that is how they define themselves. Neither has a job, an interest, so all they do is pine after whoever. What a pity. Nicole used to be corporate, Chloe was an opera star,
but now they have been reduced to dependency stricken broads.

Sami refers to the
Debeara name but we understand her confusion, given that this time around, Stefano is running around in his pyjamas. Nothing is as it is supposed to be in the house of DiMera. On the up side, at least the Stephanie and Max story has been paused, so do keep the DiMera stuff coming!

The flashbacks of Vendetta Stefano in a suit are certainly more enjoyable than the unattractive hospital scenario. Poor Stef even has to endure shoddy sheets this time around. Just goes to show ya that new aint always improved. They shouldn't have messed with perfection. Stefano IS the DiMera mansion, placing him elsewhere is like taking Nessie outta Loch Ness. Speaking of the hospital fiasco, amazing how the gals half-suffocated but managed to race around the hospital floor like they were running a four-minute mile! And it did not go unnoticed that the females acted more idiotic than the men. Hmmm. Just what is the demographic here anyway?

When the DiMeras gain control of the hospital cafeteria, Sami trips
EJ for offering her green jello.

Updated as of August 11, 2008 - Link Only!

Stefano is back but let him get outta the freakin bed! I woulda preferred to see an elegantly suited Stefano show up at the DiMera mansion, moving back in. Lately Days has more hospital scenes than General Hospital, which now has an interesting Russian mob storyline, by the way. No more bedpans of our lives, pulease. Take the revenge and psychedelic gas and put it somewhere more fun.

So Sami is gonna need some toxic gas to kiss EJ? This sounds like a double-edged sword kinda spoiler. Come on now. Time to end the

Melanie is in a school in France, where she has lived for God only knows how long, and yet she couldn't understand what the French
cop said to her??? Trent needs to get his money back! Speaking of Mel, she is cute but SHOULD STOP YELLING ALREADY.

It was a tad charming about Bo/Hope renewing their vows but it was toooooo long and slow. Coulda done the whole thing in one tenth of
the time wasted on it, not to mention the fact that storyline wise, it served no purpose. It would have made more sense to show John and Marlena's romance and adventure flashbacks, to remind the viewers
of their past and thus generate interest in John's memory loss scenario.

Besides our new exciting DiMera era underway, there is zero suspense on the show, only the promise of it. Case in point. Trent is mysterious and his big secret is that he and Nicole are legally married. Interesting but not worthy of suspense build-up. Max goes to France, is followed but it's only the paparazzi. Max wants to find the mysterious girl in the picture but she's just his bratty sis. Who killed Paul but oh well he's alive anyway. And the list goes on.

Days won an Emmy for good hair but now we are losing our edge,
cos the wigs are looking like oversized animal tails of late! 

Sami sniffs paint and kisses Lucas, too.

Updated as of July 22, 2008 - Link Only!

Phil and Morgan are gonna use the L word with each other but
they have never even
you know and since when was Morgan,
one of the original sorority party girls, so virginal …?

The river this, the river that, but no one in Salem even knows
the freakin town river’s name …

After all those hours, Steph and Max’s train oughtta be in
Istanbul by now! And if it was dinner-time anywhere U.S.A.,
it would be around between 11 pm and 4 am France time, so
what is up with Max’s breakfast??? So much for his genius …

Stefano is gonna wake up madder than a phoenix on fire, which is great, but then the vendetta-is-over thing was a big fat lie. That having been said, we all knew that anyhow, the dead giveaway to the fraud being the Wyatt Earp mustache our so-called Santo was wearing last summer when he seduced Irish Sami, causing her to morph into the Partridge family mom … Meanwhile, poor Sami is now stuck between two triangles! Chloe/Lucas/Sami and Nicole/EJ/Sami. Newsflash. Two triangles make a square and squares are boring.

Lastly but not leastly, Kate and Dan keep repeating that Chelsea can never hear about their affair, literally shouting it from a rooftop,  and they will continue repeating it loudly enough ‘till she finally does hear
it. Mega-predictable!

Kate and Dan take out a one page ad in the New York Times, advising people not to tell Chelsea they slept together cos they don’t remember anyhow …

Updated as of July 8, 2008 - Link Only!

Never mind the letter, Paul has left a tape for Morgan, just to
show what a corrupt dirt bag he was, so he could also point the
finger at the bad guys he was in cahoots with – and that tape will
be something that makes people worry because Paul is such a
reliable source, dead or alive … NOT!
And guess who gets their hands on the tape at some point?
Who else in Salem gets their hands on incriminating tapes - Kate!
Been there, done that …

Love Chloe, but what is up with the Rocky Horror Picture Show makeup …?

A little blackout requires the Salem P.D. to use the local pub as a
relief shelter? Something be wrong with Salem’s infrastructure –
like the fact that there is none har har!

And why is Sami indignant about hanky panky in an elevator?
She used to have fun with Franco in the closet at work no less!

Sami breaks Nicole’s kneecaps cos she really loves Lucas …

Updated as of June 15, 2008 - Link Only!

Lamebrain bloopers that are honest to goodness spoilers

Sami tries to kick EJ DIMERA out of the DIMERA mansion …!
But wait! John, whom EJ shot and tried to kill, says he can stay!

Marlena tells not only John but also Dr. Rolf that she has John’s
disk of memories when it is quite clear that only enemy Rolf would have been evil and capable enough to make such a thing in the first place!

Genius (?) Max sloppily breaks and enters and trashes Robbin’s room, after the dude says he’ll report him to the cops for harassment!

Dan doesn’t want to lead Chelsea on so he asks her out for a date!

Kate once tried to kill Victor so he decides to head on down to the hospital and offer his support during her surgery …

Anna wants to prove she doesn’t need Tony, so she has just married
him and next goes to work for his company!

Meanwhile, Stefano sleeps on …

Sami discovers that she is really a DiMera and EJ is a Brady so
she kicks herself out of the DiMera mansion …

Updated as of May 24, 2008 - Link Only!

DaysCafe has been getting tons of emails pointing out that
the show has swept under the carpet that EJ shot John.
Now that EJ is supposed to be a respectable lawyer, Days
needs to do something about this. Heck, even saying it was
his clone or evil twin or lookalike cousin or someone disguised
as him who shot John would be better than ignoring it. The lack
of continuity in soaps is killing their ratings, as soap viewers are
way smarter than they are given credit for. Case in point: the
Young and the Restless, which is losing points on a weekly basis,
now that almost all classic couples have been split up and characters
have been acting about as consistent as Jack Nicholson in the
Shining ...

Updated as of May 19, 2008 - Link Only!

Love ya Nick, but put yer genius thinking cap on and figure out
fer yourself what Max was up to ok?

For the first time in Days history, Bryan Dattilo (Lucas) won’t have
to cover his tattoos, one of which is the Sicilian coat of arms. Keep your blooper antenna in high alert as Lucas’ storyline progresses cos
by golly he deserves to be more than a contrived love triangle flunky!

In Sami and EJ’s intense moment scene, she turned away from him
and all of a sudden, her cleavage and arms were much more exposed!

Kayla’s never-ending mopefest about whatever they can come up
with to make her mope and frown and cry about is gonna drag out now. My advice: don’t let Steph and her scary hair anywhere near
the baby or the poor li’l thing will never wanna come home!

Sorry to say, but unless she is attached to Nick, Chelsea ain’t any
more likable than when she ran over Zack. And would someone
please give her and Hope a sandwich! Heck, thrown in a cake while you’re at it!

Chloe used to be an opera singer but now she has been reduced to
a gold-digging madam. Pity. Ranks right up there with inviting Stefano back so ya’ll can kick him to the curb and make him comatose. Speaking of the Phoenix, who gets to bid for the removed portrait?
The checkbooks are open, Kenny!

Dr. Dan announces he is leaving Salem once and for all, to find the perfect child bride ...

Updated as of May 2, 2008 - Link Only!

Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

According to rumor, the show was about to put Tony and
Anna on the back burner but now that Thaao Penghlis (Tony)
has been nominated for an Emmy for best LEAD actor in
a daytime drama, they are just gonna have to keep giving
him mucho airtime - so there!

Bo is about to go back to his old ways of growling and threatening
his adversaries. Man, he’ll be like this even when he has a cane!

Lexie and Abe are about to have marital problems. That means
they’re still married. Who knew?

Undergroomed Dr. Dan and underfed Chelsea. Does anyone
even care about this bed pan romance...?

Megahot Joe Penny (Martino) is 51 and Stephen Nichols (Patch)
is 55 and dated his daughter. No wonder the guy is mad!

Stephanie acts about as mature as Hannah Montana while boyfriend Max goes for those Bart Simpson expressions. A match made in cartoon heaven!

Yes, we know it’s nice, but Hope is almost always in that same
freakin gold top!

Dex Dexter John asks Crystal Marlena to renew their vows
(Dynasty talk y’all)
Vitali has his associates take out the ten most boring characters (yay!) and the ratings soar as a result …

Updated as of April 3, 2008 - Link Only!

Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

Stephanie’s folks need to get a refund on her college courses
cos she can’t even figure out that Max is telling her the docks
are kinda dangerous because they really are. Silly goose!

After Vic has just toasted Phil for his unwavering loyalty, the
prodigal son is about to make a secret deal with Nicole, right
behind daddy dearest’s back, naughty boy! Meanwhile, Chloe continues her best deer looking in the headlights pose …

Dr. Dan talks about Kate’s great bod, Nicole’s hotness, his
hobby as a surfer dude, not to mention losing his shirt at the
casino. Despite being a great (diseased?) doc about town, he
is more arrogant playboy bum than good catch material.
Kate and Chelsea need to get the wax removed from their ears …

Nicole used to be fearful of Victor having her killed but not now.
There is only one explanation. That cute little 6 inch pooch she
carries with her must be a well trained attack dog in disguise,
proficient in twelve martial arts and canine poop defense …

Kate’s righteous indignation about Nicole is surely the pot calling
the kettle black, considering that Kate has tried to kill Vic twice
(once with a hitman, another time wth a poker) and she also set
the whole freakin Kiriakis mansion on fire!

Dr. Rolf admits that Stephanie is a Chloe clone gone wrong …

Updated as of March 28, 2008
Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

Steve is about to go meet Ava of crime family fame without
the Salem P.D., ISA, Interpol, etc. as backup. The dude’s patch
must be too tight, squeezing on them brain cells …

Chelsea is about to throw herself at Dr. Dan, whom she thinks
is soooo wonderful. Guess she is into doctors who break the Hippocratic oath, cos that’s just what he did when he jokingly
implied there was something wrong with her the other day – an inappropriate joke which could have caused harm to the patient
by stressing her out post-op. Doh!

In addition, Chelsea needs a hair wash and Bo and Dr. Dan need a shave. Daytime tv is supposed to be attractive! These folks need grooming pointers from the rest of the Kiriakis clan …

Meanwhile, where was supposedly doting grandma Kate when
Chelsea was released from hospital huh …?

Phil is quite the hussy, making eyes at Morgan one day, almost
locking lips with black widow Chloe the next. Must be those playboy Kiriakis genes in action so then he isn’t such a nice guy after all, it
seems (but heck, we’ll take him, good or bad!)

John buys Marlena NBC and finally gets her attention …

Updated as of March 13, 2008
Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

How could Patch help Bo’s family? And Bo does have a brother
called Roman, who is now oddly MIA. Plus, Bo and Hope are
about to find out just how safe being associated with Patchman is, given his past contacts. And it’ll take Hope’s smarts to clean up the
whole mess!

Meanwhile, this whole scenario of Shawn and Belle hoping to
sail around the world just when Bo seems to be croaking ain’t
exactly … sensitive, not to mention that Shawn is not the world’s greatest sailor, as he once insisted on taking Willow out for a spin
on the boat - right into a storm!

Interesting how Bo is the only patient in the entire hospital. The
Salem P.D. must have one heck of a medical plan!

So we now hear there is a donor. Ummm no, that would be a
match. Once the person agrees to get cut up, risk their life or
serious health complications then we will have a donor. Whatever.

Ava mistakes Johnny Dep for Steve …
Steve mistakes Angelina Jolie for Ava …
Johnny Dep mistakes “Days of Our Lives” for “21 Jump Street.”

Updated as of March 6, 2008 - Link Only!

Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

Gee, everyone loves to hang out at the docks in winter, all of a
sudden. Just wait till John reclaims his turf!

Felonista or no, Ava could still get her pop in hot water for
forcible confinement …

Bo is unwell and we all know he will be fine after the oh-so-
dangerous surgery, the main point being that we are reminded
that Bo is actually Victor’s biological son. No problemo. What is
a problemo is Chelsea has been sniffling and snorting up a storm.

And now that the Ford Decker story is dead and buried, how about having actor Matthew Florida back to play perhaps the good twin? Matthew would have been a great addition as a young romantic
male lead, but then his storyline got butchered. Wake up, Days!

Gotta love Rolfski, but if he thinks John’s disc of memories poses
a threat to him, why not just destroy the dang thing?! Cos then the upcoming intrigue might not be so intriguing …

Chelsea apologizes again, just so she can insert the word ME into
yet another sentence …

Updated as of February 29, 2008 - Link Only!
Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

Claire and John rock the house with their adorable chemistry
goin on! In addition, we get a Claire who loves everyone and
the viewers cheer until ... Shawn and Belle and Claire are
soon gonna go bye bye! Holy tactical error! Shelle and co. are
now together and happy, Belle would be a great nurse at the
hospital, Shawn has finally come into his own, not to mention
that his real-life gal pal Nadia (Chloe) is on the same show.
Makes for an interesting dynamic. But we are getting robbed!

Meanwhile …

Amazing!  EJ’s M.B.A. has now morphed into a law degree!
But we won’t nitpick, seeing as bartender Chris Kosichek got
his law degree part time years ago, only to return to Salem as
blue collar cop Roman Brady …

And Anna has more sense than John or Tony, for she still feels
Stefano’s presence. Boy are those two in trouble when the
Phoenix rises! Speaking of the phoenix, where is that powerful, majestic bird anyhow?  Contract dispute …?

The Brady pub announces that Thursdays will now be
phoenix wings night …
Fidel brings John more cigars and claims he is a DiMera, too,
though he lost his marbles years ago and is now on a quest
to find them ...

Updated as of February 25, 2008 - Link Only!

Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

Ava the stalker says she wants Patch and has an opportunity
to abduct him - and she will again and again - yet she does
not. Instead, she is about to set her sights on tormenting Hope,
whom she mistakes for Kayla. And we are supposed to believe
the broad could have masterminded the plane sabotage – not!
That having been said, the suspense is still lotsa fun …

In the real world, the young generation is active in the
environment, politics, technology, but not Salem’s flaky
Sorority Spice Girls, who hold a vote on whether or not
Chelsea talking when she wasn’t supposed to is ok with
them. Seconds later all is forgiven by lead Spice Girl Morgan,
who throws the first hug.

Patchman calls the unborn baby Peanut. First Pocket,
now Peanut! Hope the tot’s middle name ain’t gonna be Butter …

Why do people always take Claire off to get candy or
ice cream?  The poor kid would be toothless by now.

Max continues to speak of his DAD, Stephanie's GRANDPA.

We have been robbed, people! Still no sighting of Shawn Sr.’s
ghost! Santo and Cawaleena got ghosts. Talk about ageism!

Lexie admits she got her medical license online for
nine dollars and twenty-nine cents, plus tax …

Updated as of February 19, 2008 - Link Only!

Prepare to be SPOILERIZED

Houston, we have a problem …

Max has just defined himself as a true Brady who considers
his adoptive parents “Mom” and “Pop,” And his “Mom and
Pop” just happen to be the Mom and Pop of Stephanie’s
mother. So he has just
clearly defined himself as Stephanie’s
uncle. It will not be possible for the genetically challenged
writers who came up with this idea of making Max a true and
blue Brady to get out of this one, unless Max’s biological parents
show up. And ‘till they do … ewwww, pulease don’t let those
two kiss anymore!

Another spoiler issue concerns how darn cute Claire is with
grandad John cos now her li’l family will sail away for a while!
Shucks. Let Claire at least stay with John and Marlena on the
holidays, ok …?

Lastly but not leastly, despite a certain request,  DaysCafe will
NOT go to bat for the fired writer responsible for the organ theft, psycho Steve storylines. So, See ya!

The Greenland snow camp is overrun by autograph seeking
polar bears …
John fires more psychedelic flares in the air …
Bo dreams of Woodstock …

Updated as of February 11, 2008 - Link Only!
Here comes another wacky spoiler.

Prepare to be SPOILERIZED
First of all, nice we got to see Shirley Jones as Colleen – for all
of a week! Next time the leaked spoiler Gods at the show oughtta
warn us when the appearance is gonna be a magnificent one that’s
gone in the blink of an Irish eye …
Now, to get to the above mentioned wacky spoiler. Sami swears
to love Lucas forever and gets closer to EJ. That’s about it. The
LUMI fans assume it means LUMI foreva but the EJAMI fans
assume it means EJAMI be the future. That’s cos that’s what
they’re supposed to think. EJAMI and LUMI fans need to have
a convention, seeing as they are both getting jerked around big
time here. Stop the insanity!

So much for a happy Brady reunion. Two deaths on the menu
and a plane crash!

The Catholic Church (or charch if yer Colleen) actually favors
earth burial to crematin and scatterin …

Colleen didn’t seem ta be on her last leg up till the last second.
And Shawn Sr.’s family let him reunite with his long lost sister
for all of 30 seconds before they shoved him out of the room.
Does he get tossed from the plane, too?

No so pro Doc Lexie, chief of staff for less than 24 hrs, gossips
about Kayla’s pregnancy before telling the patient about it!

Enough of the poopoo type visit! Show us Tony’s swanky office!


LUMI and EJAMI fans unionize and demand Sami have an
identical twin sister …
John confesses he sees
green tea green tea everywhere …

Updated as of February 4, 2008 - Link Only!
Our blooper du jour (of da day) is about a spoiler so please
only read ahead if ya don’t mind. Those who remain …
Prepare to be Spoilerized!

We now call your attention to none other than the carefully
leaked spoiler (oh puleease, they are always leaked!) about
a Days of our Lives vet getting killed off. Well, that’s news
to a lot of viewers, cos the vet turns out to be Shawn Brady Sr.
Hear that sound? It is the sound of millions of Days viewers
scratching their heads in unison, caught off guard as
NO ONE EVEN KNEW THE MAN WAS STILL ON THE FREAKIN SHOW! When the decision of his demise was made,
it is true, he was shown for a milli-second here or there, but before
that time, some remembered last seeing him for all of 3 seconds, walking away bored as Colleen and Santo’s summer letters were
read. Shawn Sr. runs the pub, yet Patch, Shawn, slaphappy
Caroline, extras, and even newbie Crawford Decker were seen there
more often. But technically he is a VET and he does die from a lack
of oxygen on a wayward plane after we see him again, so the spoiler
that a vet dies is deemed accurate. Then again, VET is also the abbreviated form of veterinarian or war veteran, so who knows
what future spoilers will bring …

The show releases the following shocking spoiler:
A well known character dies! Egads!
(as it turns out, the well known character will be Larry Welch,
who was already believed dead and had  not been on the show
for years. No matter. The character of Larry Welch will be officially killed off, in an off-screen February chimney sweeps storyline … )

Updated as of January 22, 2008 - Link Only!
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the bedpans of
our lives, at least for Belle and John, both of whom have
been stuck at the hospital way too long.

I am with John – he should do whatever he has to, to get
outta that dang bed so we can at least see him do something
besides lie around!

Well, EJ is worried that Stefano will take action against his
young family but still brings the box with the rattle into his
home, assuming it is from Stefano! That box and/or rattle
might have contained gases or even a bomb! Silly silly.

Next day (for us that is) the triangle continues, with Lucas
calling Sami. Sami and EJ and Sami and Lucas blah blah blah.
Same old flip flopping.

As for Kayla’s pantfest … geesh, she musta been hanging
around the Playboy mansion lately! Is Heff gonna do a cameo?
And yet Marcus Patrick of Playgirl fame gets fired!

Meanwhile, the leg irons in prison seem like a throwback to the
Middle Ages. Where’s Uncle Micky when you need him?!

EJ and Sami hide from Stefano at the mall …

Updated as of January 9, 2008 - Link Only!
There are so many kids waiting to be adopted, why don’t
Steve and Kayla go that route?
And almost speaking of Pocket, it is still bizarre how the
tyke was dropped from the show, given  he is a Kiriakis heir …

And when is Chloe gonna sing????

So the building of interest is rented to a dummy corporation –
the Salem P.D. perhaps? Yuk yuk yuk!

Crystal is a lovely girl and mysterious too, so there’s no need
to keep frowning, luv …

Yesterday’s silliness …
Marlena was dressed like a reverend and her hair
miraculously got darker on the same day!

Kate wears wagon wheels on her ears …

Sami goes for a Lion King look …

Frisky Kayla wants sextuplets - now!

Updated as of December 19, 2007 - Link Only!
Hahaha! Senor Chavez must be a Hugo Chavez clone.
The blooper here, though, it that a communistic thug sure
wouldn’t wanna help a capitalistic thug and vice versa!

Speaking of DiMera-esque countries, what ever happened
to the neat DiMera Carpathian castle that was full of designer
fascist security police? Stefano in that place would be one
dangerous man and viewers would see the extent of his empire
first hand …

Kate is wrong to compare Phil to Victor. Phil has a role on
Days of Our Lives, whereas Victor does not!

It would be nice if Cordy did more than whimper and sniffle.

It would also be cool to actually see some classes at Salem U.,
not to mention that Nick is currently the only professor on staff.

Sweet Stephanie looks lovely with her hair swept back from
her face so there is clearly no need for the Cousin It hairdo the
poor girl has been subjected to for months …

By the by, remember Abe and Lexie’s son Theo? The show
sure doesn’t - cos he too is a DiMera heir!

Hugo Chavez auditions to play the aged version of Will …

Updated as of December 13, 2007 - Link Only!
Too many of Salem’s gals look like they've been punched
in the eye. Time to go easier on the war paint …

Poor Shawn. He thinks Belle has made him a clueless
criminal. Well, if their relationship can survive that, it should
survive just about anything, even if she has morphed into a
desperate housewife …

Amazing how many resources the Salem P.D. put into
tracking down EJ’s shooter yet when EJ shot John
(almost to death), they shrugged their shoulders and said
they had no proof!

And what’s up with the fedex episode?

But of course there is a nicely wrapped package with a gun
tied to an attempted murder. Salemites aren’t allowed to be
swift enough to dump their smoking guns in the water by the
docks, are they!

EJ intercepts Lucas’ mail, Chinese food delivery, and Better
Homes and Gardens subscription …

Updated as of December 11, 2007 - Link Only!
Chloe and Stephanie appear to be wearing the same
wig/hair extension/whatever. These chicks are certainly
deserving of a fun and sassy hairstyle. How come only
Chelsea gets to have one …?

As Sami jogs around with her doll carriage, EJ eavesdrops
on her former hubby with  his walkie-talkie, then muttering
“Loo kiss” when he discovers just who has a secret gun! 
Indeed. Colonel Mustard did it in the loo with a kiss!

Boy that Cynthia dialogue was strange, when she tried to hit
on Phil but refused to even tell him what magazine she worked
for …

Meanwhile, Salem’s younger blondes – Sami and Belle –
seem to have the tick that island girl used to have. Gotta
make sure the hair is half over one shoulder, like only a
statue would be able to keep …

Speaking of Belle, she laments at Chloe "You and
Bray got

Chloe tells Shawn his grandmother was once seen at
a hotel room with Victor Kiriakis ...

Updated as of December 4, 2007 - Link Only!
The creepy Ford story would have been better suited to
Halloween, not the Christmas season! And the same goes
for Phil’s macabre dream, which is a pretty bizarre filler.

Well, if the sorority chicks are so scared of Ford, you’d think
they would have gotten a few jock roommates, an attack
dog, or moved elsewhere! But of course this is Salem U.,
where all that exists is a dean, a rapist, and sorority sisters.
There are no classes, majors, degrees, or logic ...

Southern belles are certainly a welcome addition to the show,
but Morgan is  beginning too many sentences with YOWL …

Meanwhile, there have been some complaints about Belle’s
hair growing a good six inches overnight.
Would you believe hormones …?

Lucas plays the macho Mediterranean to perfection, so when
is the show gonna use his Mediterranean roots in a storyline
for real? The camera already sees it … Speaking of Lucas, EJ,
and Sami, this is just how things were when charmer EJ first came
on the show - he lived across the hall from Sami and pined after her. Poor twins! Doomed to a lifetime of recycled scenarios!

Sami admits she loves Lucas, Elvis Jr., Elmo, and Barney …
Ford attacks a tree …

Updated as of November 28, 2007 - Link Only!
Oh Nick Nick Nick! It’s always the same. Starts as a genius,
ends as a silly boy being dragged around by the nose due to
Chelsea’s emotional blackmail, all in the name of cowboy –
or rather cowgirl – justice!

Roman wondering about the stories the mattress could tell
makes him sound rather desperate … Time for a date, dude!

Poor angry Sami says she has been trying to prevent herself from having a complete nervous breakdown but that there breakdown arrived and has been going on for years  now!

Ali  “sometimes getting this mischievous look in her eye ...”
Newsflash. It is called gas!

The Salem P.D. asking Marlena if she has a black dress is
priceless, since that clue narrows it down to over 50% of the
women in the world …

Belle tells Phil that her moral principles would not allow her
to spend the night with him for anything less than a million dollars …
The Salem P.D. set out to arrest Dorothy's shoes  …

Updated as of November 20, 2007 - Link Only!
Familiar fashion alert! Looks like the tart at the bar is wearing
one of Steph’s summer tops …

EJ and Sami have spiraled into a whinefest, while Lucas and
Sami are now a fightfest. How about getting Stefano a galpal so
he is too busy for the vendetta anyhow?

And poor EJ, never mind he gets shot, he has to wear that
yucky hospital nighty, no designer stuff. Are the DiMeras now
on a budget?

Mebbe Will shoulda written he wants the show back, too, cos
with all this re-written history, Days of Our Lives has left the

It appears the profs at Salem U didn’t teach those dizzy dame
sorority sisters that slander is against the law. Doh!  Max got a
better education at the garage cos at least he knows how to
spell liable!

If Belle wants both guys, then the biggest Thanksgiving turkey
is gonna be the wedding, cos, once more, the fans have been
robbed of romance!

Why, even Claire thinks so and has already donned a wig in protest!

Sami tells EJ it’s worth fighting for a new nighty …
Will becomes a goat herder in the alps …

Updated as of November 14, 2007 - Link Only!
So Kate agrees to meet Phil and tell him all about her gun –
in a public place!

Speaking of Kate, she is right on the money when she says
Phillip is more and more like Victor. Now, given that John
Aneston (Victor) is hardly on the show – of his own accord,
as he chose not to be on contract – why not just give Phil the
reins of the Kiriakis empire once and for all?

Sighing Sami continues to flipflop between being scared and
angry and angry and scared. and Lucas and EJ and EJ and
Lucas blah blah blah!

And where oh where is Alice Horton????

Meanwhile, Colleen doles out more relationship advice while
sounding more and more like Borat …

Finally, ya know, if only Roman grew a mustache, he would be
just like
McCloud, the cool southern cop of the 1970s NBC police drama. He already talks like ‘im. McCloud totally rocked, man.
Wasn’t a case that cowboy couldn’t crack …

SuperChels becomes a bounty hunter ...
Updated as of November 6, 2007 - Link Only!
For the seasonally challenged …The Amalfi coast of Italy does not have too much sun this time of year, as is stated in today’s epi. In fact, the Amalfi November is crisp and can be quite wet, which is why a lot of hotels in the area are closed from November to March!

Nice that Nick was invited to an embassy ball for saving the kids of
the unknown people. Makes lotsa sense huh! Unknown embassy, unknown country, unknown parents, but the level of secrecy is so
high that the ball to honor the kidnapped kids' hero is announced for
all potential enemies to hear about!

Belle sure left the door open enough for Phil to get an eyeful!

So basically Shawn is labeled a felon by the Police Commission but told he can still re-apply!

Elmer Fudd shoots EJ ...

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