Thursday February 3 Quote of the DAY CELESTE The stars know all ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN Yeah man, that grass is startin ta kick in ... REX I was born in the stars, what with being an alien and all. SAMI If Kate doesn't get outta my way, she'll be seeing stars!!! CELESTE Dahlings, I must not mention that word again, for fear of summoning my evil twin ... Star Jones! Wednesday February 2 Quote of the DAY LUCAS I love you so much ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SAMI I love me too! In fact my name stands for Self-Absorbed Maniacal Irritating ... EUGENIA Enough! You're talking faster than I can type! KATE Hurry up, now hack into every site that Sami has ever visited, except of course, the DaysCafe. They have such a nice picture of me on that "Over 40 and Looking Fabulous" page ... SHAWN Excuse me, I'm lookin for a guy who looks like a jughead ... G.I. JOE Philip Kiriakis! You have a visitor! AL JAZEERA REPORTER Aha! American relationships in turmoil - more corruption, more proof that everyone is unhappy ... REX Yeah right, that's how come we laugh all the way to the bank! MARLENA Some more than others ... Tuesday February 1 Quote of the DAY TONY I hold all the cards ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR CELESTE But only I, the great psychic, can read them, dahling. TONY Blah blah and bloody blah! Thought I'd seen the last of you when I stood you up in Monte Carlo! BART Say boss, guess what rhymes with BOPE - cope, rope, elope ... TONY And dope! Now give me back that bloody cigar, you long suffering idiot! BART (sniff sniff) Yer so good to me, boss, I get all choked up. JAN Choke - that's it! I'll choke the kupee doll for lying to me about Shawn and then no one will have Shawn! SHAWN I got no time for this - I'm on my way to the airport to invalidate a wedding ... Monday January 31 Quote of the DAY LUCAS I love you, do you love me ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BARNEY Say, I didn't know you were a fan! LUCAS Oh yeah, I even got a big purple Barney tattoo here on my ... SAMI Lucas! PHIL So you see, Belle, if you ended our marriage before I was shipped out by Fedex, then I would leave the show forever ... BELLE That settles it then - we are through, this marriage is OVER! ZE GEORGIA Non! I will not go wiz yew! BO I don't blame ya ... Billie is gettin crazier than the Unabomber. Friday January 28 Quote of the DAY SHAWN I need your help ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BELLE I already told you, I'm not that computer literate so you'll have to find someone else to replace that old Belle's image with mine on all your digital pictures. Besides, I'm busy giving my new husband a proper send off that includes telling him I love another man ... SHAWN First I got locked in a freakin cage all summer, now they tell me I gotta fix all the Shawn and Belle photographs on my hard drive. The actor's union is gonna hear about this! FIFI Hallo, I am ze Georges .. I mean Georgia. FRANCO Beeeeleeee, zees iz my long lost sister, merci! LUCAS Freedom fries! Hear that - they're called freedom fries! PHIL Why is there a big L on my forehead? BELLE It's part of your Fedex tracking number. I don't love you so I'll need to know exactly where you are at all times ... KATE All I want is for my children to be happy so I can stop crying and making my damn mascara run! Joan Collins never had to contend with runny eye makeup so why should I! EUGENIA I just got a job in Customer Service at E-Bay! I'm now in charge of the Sami auction ... SAMI Oh, Lucas, it's just what I've always wanted - my very own pearl scanner ... JAN Gimme that! I want to scan Shawn so he'll be mine forever! SHAWN (gestures with hand) Scan THIS! KATE So, how are we doing, Eug? EUGENIA So far it's not looking good. Sami, who is in the Shock Value category, is currently losing to a lock of Howard Stern's hair ... Thursday January 27 Quote of the DAY CELESTE I see nothing but bad omens all around ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BILLIE Bow! That means this must really be Georgia then because who the heck would want a ranting muppet mom like me anyhow! I'm the bad omen, Bow! EUGENIA Hmm, think I'll hack into E-bay and put Sami up for auction, tee hee! SAMI Hello? Hello? Is this the psychic hotline? Can you tell me if I'm gonna be happy without my mom's pearls? KEYSTONE COP No, ma'm, this is 911, we are not the psychic hotline ... KATE Hello, E-bay? Can you give me a callback alert once Sami gets sold? Wednesday January 26 Quote of the DAY SHAWN It is the worst when someone you love lies to you. LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BILLIE Bo, I have a hot lead! I need to find Ray Charles' diary ... BO What the hell? BILLIE He sang about Georgia so he must have known where she was! HOPE Bo, if you ever listen to that woman's crazy stories ever again, I swear, I'll start dating that Lorenzo Lamas lookalike castle guard, I will! VICTOR NEWMAN Damn punks ... MR.R What the hell are you doing here! I thought I already told you to take a hike! Call me wild, call me unpredictable, but no one can ever call me boring and you, Newman, are just too boring for my Salem!Take a hike already and never come back! Geesh. Nothing worse than a windbag from another network. I hate it when uninvited characters try to crash my fun parties! JOHN And that's a fact. BELLE Philip, please, I need to know your tracking number before Fedex ships you out! PHILIP But I haven't been scanned yet SAMI Gimme my pearl scanner, you b*tch! Tuesday January 25 Quote of the DAY HOPE Bo is in danger - I can feel it ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BO That's why they call us a supercouple, babe. HOPE (singing) I got you babe. BO (singing) I got you to care enough ... HOPE (singing) I got you cos you're so buff! BO (singing) I got you to track me down ... HOPE I got you to take me out on the town! BO I got you to share my bike ... HOPE I got you cos just you I like ... BO and HOPE I got you babe! BILLIE Gosh, did you hear someone singing? I wonder if it's Georgia ... LORENZO LAMAS LOOKALIKE GUARD Ya, it is just me mom. I am da Georgia ya! Now take me back to da California soz I can clean da house! Monday January 24 Quote of the DAY FATHER JANSEN Life isn't an easy journey ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BO It is whan ya get to go places with that there Basic Black jet, I'll tell ya! Now if I could just dump this muppet broad. BILLIE Oh Bo! I just realized that if you take the IA off the end of Georgia and add E, that spells George. That's the president's name! Bow, do you think he knows something? DAN R Don't ask me - I'm officially outta the loop since I got caught wagging an empty paper faster than a five headed Texan gator lookin for a quick meal at Donald Trump's fox tail wedding reception, to which, I might add, I was not invited ... SAMI So what's your take on all this stuff, father? FATHER JANSEN After all this talkin ye've done here, I have come to the conclusion that ye really must be a Chatty Cathy doll after all. JOHN And that's a fact! She even looked like a Chatty Cathy doll te me before I was stoned. BELLE Boohoohoo! Philip is getting shipped overseas by Fedex but he still won't give me his tracking number ... SHAWNBOY That's ok cuz like we can like pretend we're on the deck in Titanic and then I'll like kiss you. BELLE I'll only kiss you if you have a tracking number because that's just the kind of girl I am! VICTOR NEWMAN Macneil, get the hell away from my daughter, you punk! BELLE Who is that man? SHAWNBOY Sir, ye must be lost, like the door to CBS is down the hall, in the magic treasure chest ... VICTOR NEWMAN Damn punks! I'm a consultant, damn you! Friday January 21 Quote of the DAY ROMAN Why are you torturing us like this? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR TONY You are clearly a DiMera fan, hence you address me even as I am not present! MARLENA Damn you, Tony - where's my t.v. guide already! This one's out of date. SAMI Speaking of outta date, my lines today were from three whole years ago! EUGENIA But I'm here now and back then there was no Secretary of State residing in Salem ... KATE Oh oh, she's delusional again. Time to call Rumsfeld and let him know. JOHN You can use my secret shoe phone and call direct. Just let 'em know Maxwell Smart sent ya and if that doesn't help, tell 'em John Black, Pet Detective, has another hot lead ... BELLE Boohoohoo! JOHN What's wrong sweetheart? BELLE It's Philip. Fedex is shipping him overseas. Boohoohoo! Wednesday January 19, Quote of the DAY SAMI This is better than a soap opera ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MR.X What the heck's a soap opera? I write for a sitcom that's called "Days of our Lives" ... MIMI Looks like we're in the same boat, Jan. JACK Boat? Did somebody say boat?! I'm looking for an assistant stowaway, now that you mention it! Someone to wash these shirts, whistle, appear to be content ... It's a non union, non paying position and all the action - er rather non-action - takes place in this boiler room that doubles as a ship and part of the castle on weekends. BRADY Oh my gosh! Look! It's the old sock I once gave Chloe when she said I always put my foot in my mouth! This has got to be the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me! VICTOR NEWMAN You're damn right it's a sitcom, even your portraits are abominable, listen to me, got that, right ... REX I am so tired of you like loitering in the apartment! PHIL Yeah, what is up with that? VICTOR NEWMAN They don't give me enough damn airtime on Y&R so I'm here as a consultant to shake things up, you got that ... BRADY Wow. That man's comedic timing is inspirational. Tuesday January 18 Quote of the DAY CHLOE It's time to tell Brady I'm alive ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BRADY Chloe, you look different! CHLOE So do you. What's up with the peach fuzz and the dorky bandaid that glows in the dork ... I mean dark! Well, anyhow, I just dropped by to tell you I've moved on ... I'm dating Bruce Willis now ... Bye! Parting is such sweet sorrow ... BRADY Wow, Nicole, I have the most amazing news! I just saw Chloe's ghost and she's dating Bruce Willis! I had no idea he was dead too. JUNKIE JOHN Better cut down on the weed, son ... Monday January 17 Quote of the DAY KATE I want to help you ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JUNKIE JOHN Too late! I asked ta see muh contract and they go an make me some kinda druggie. Be careful, Kate. If yuh ask ta see yer contract, they might make yuh a hooker ... Oops, Uh forget, you r one, huh! KATE I'll ignore that, it's just the drugs talking. JOHN So now what do we do? KATE Quick - the hidden camera is coming on! Take me in your arms so we can pose like Scarlett and Rhett in "Gone with the Wind ..." PRINCE HARRY Excuse me, I am here for my audition as the lead castle guard? MR. X You're hired but drop the phoney accent, ok ... Friday January 14 Quote of the DAY SIEGFRIED The jig is up ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BILLIE You mean we have to dance here? CELINE D. Welcome to my home. How do you like the portrait of the beautiful me? It was made when I was 15 ... BO Where the heck are we??? SIEGFRIED I always told you Las Vegas was the best of Europe, dahlings! SHAWNBOY STELLLAAAAA! BELLE That's Belle, you twit! SHAWNBOY I was jes bein like Brando in "Streetcar Named Desire" and I was Stanley but you were Stella cos like they had this great passion ... BELLE Who cares about classics! We are on a soap opera and I am standing on this freezing rooftop in my nightie on my honeymoon! You don't make any sense, Shawn! JOHN Here, have a couple of grams, on the house. It'll make ye feel better, son ... Thursday January 13 Quote of the DAY NICOLE We all know that wasn't John ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN Damn straight it wuzn't - Uh'm Dex Dexter! KATE I'm Joan Collins ... I mean Alexis! BRADY I'm Danny Bonaduce. JOHN AND KATE Wrong show, dufus! BRADY Oh. How about Keith Partridge? JENNIFER At least I know who I am - I'm Cindy Brady! PATRICK Gee, to think I left the Genoa city coffee shop for this ... VICTOR NEWMAN Look here, you punk - I don't want you coming back, listen to me, right, see, ok, last word's mine ... JOHN Get da hell offa my turf Newman! BO I'm gonna fly back from Europe, Nevada and kick both him and that Lockhard right back ta CBS! Wednesday January 12 Quote of the DAY BO It's called a trap ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BILLIE Bow? What do you mean? BO I mean your dumber than ya look if it's possible. JOHN And Kate you're nothin but a ho! Plus, Nicole is a tramp! Plus, this cane rocks, man! BRADY I think my dad might be using drugs. Let's all stand around with our mouths hanging open and wonder what to do about it ... FRAULEIN INNKEEPER I vill send zem all to ze House of Horrors! BO No can do, The last boat for Harmony left ages ago. JACK Harmony??? Dear God, abandon ship! I'd sooner swim with the sharks! Tuesday January 11 Quote of the DAY JOHN Get outta here! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN Can't ya see Uh'm in pain, here! Muh back is killin me, which is why I ran down them stairs so fast! JACK Row row row your boat Gently down the stream Merrily merrily merrily merrily Till bored viewers scream! Cripes, how many uniforms do I have to wash already? NBC has such a messy ol crew ... PATTYCAKE Sorry I pissed on your floor, Jen. JENNIFER That's ok. Just promise me you'll never change. SHAWNBOY Belle, tell me you didn't marry the butthead with the bandaid! BELLE That's Mrs. Butthead to you! Monday January 10 Quote of the DAY BART Have you seen this man? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR FRAULEIN INNKEEPER Ya, dat is de actor Cary Grant ... BART That's not possible - he died ages ago! FRAULEIN INNKEEPER Mine Gott! You mean I saw his ghost?! JACK Yes siree, you still got it Deveraux! SALTY SEA CAPTAIN What's yer name there, sailor? JACK Errrr ... Popeye? SALTY SEA CAPTAIN Well then, Popeye, time to get started on the laundry. I may be salty and I may smell like a combination of a fish and a nasty cigar, but I still got me standards on me ship! Understood? JACK Aye aye, captain! JOHN BLACK I'm tellin ya, whoever writes this stuff needs even more drugs than me ... and that's a fact! Friday January 7 Quote of the DAY BILLIE Oh my God! Is that who I think it is? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR AHNOLD I am heeea on vacation and to clean da house of doze DiMera girliemen! BILLIE Whatever. Excuse me, are there any 15 year old girls around the village? FRAULEIN INNKEEPER Heidi,come out! Somebody vanting to meet you! HEIDI Ya, vat you are vanting? I am busy making da beds. BILLIE That's a girl? BO Holy crap! She's over seven feet tall! BILLIE Errr, I wonder if the corporate jet is still someplace nearby. It's been a slice but we really must run ... Thursday January 6 Quote of the DAY JACK Jennifer, it's me, it's Jack - I'm alive! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JACK I seem to have gone back in time to this creepy place where East and West meet in the worst possible way, where people wear Soviet winter hats, fascist Italian uniforms, speak sometimes with German, other times Transylvanian accents, and even the consulate is on the take! I am stuck in this third rate cold war movie hell and there was no mention of this in my newly negotiated contract - heeeeelp! Wednesday January 5 Quote of the DAY BO (to Billie) There could never be anything romantic between us again ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BILLIE Shoot! It's the eyeliner, isn't it. HOPE Bo and I have a great relationship - I just don't happen to know what country he is in at the moment ... SAMI John, I've got the goods on you! JOHN Aw shudup, Chatty Cathy, and lemme get high without yer interference! PHILIP Belle and I are married! SHAWNBOY My hair is nicer than yours, I pout better and I have a bigger fan base than you, so get lost, Butthead ... HAROLD I am so crushed right now. Tuesday January 4 Quote of the DAY UNSEEN DIMERA GUARD #1 Deveraux has escaped! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR UNSEEN DIMERA GUARD #2 Who is dat? UNSEEN DIMERA GUARD #3 Da girlie man who doesn't have da muscles like us. ALL UNSEEN DIMERA GUARDS "VE VANT TO PUMP YOU UP!" MARLENA Guards! Hans, Franz! Tony! Get your butts over here, fix the damn t.v., and gimme a t.v. guide before I get real mad! ROMAN What are we watchin' tonight? TONY Might I recommend "Four Weddings and a Funeral" Teehee! BILLIE Bow, why are you laughing at me? I am your dream girl - an aging heroine who never got her chance, but might have a lost daughter and wears more makeup than Marcel Marceau and opens her mouth a lot and has more spunk than that award winning actress on Baywatch! Bow! Why are you clutching your stomach and laughing like that! Monday January 3 Quote of the DAY TONY Well, don't let it be said that I don't entertain my guests ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR ROMAN Is dat some sorta specialty channel? TONY The wedding of the century! Last century it was Charles and Di, this century we have none other than Sailor Moon and Butthead! The ideal match! CELESTE Dahlings, I am getting a vibe that ... someone is going to get very stoned! JUNKIE JOHN Ya sure as hell got that right. MARLENA Damn you, Tony - my champaigne glass is only half full. What is the meaning of this? TONY Would you believe budget cuts? As it turns out, the evil foreign guards union to which my evil foreign guards belong is a force to be reckoned with and they are costing me a pretty penny ... FOREIGN GUARD Da, we even know da teamsters. BO And that's how come I can't let Billie go back alone to them evil foreign mountains. Betcha those fellas don't even know how ta make a decent burger. JOHN Be that as it may, their weed is still very high grade ... Friday December 31 Quote of the DAY BELLE I'm ready ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MIMI Me too. It's 1944 and I'm ready for my first USO tour!Time to entertain the troops! PHIL I'm a marine and I'm here, not stationed overseas yet. SHAWNBOY You're goin down cuz here I come and I'm a rebel without a clue! BELLE That's cause. SHAWNBOY Oh yeah. I must be kinda like drugged again. JOHN That's what happens when yer stuff isn't high grade, son ... JACK Dear God! I must save Jennifer! BART From Lockhart? JACK No, from those obnoxious bangs! Where are the scissors - I'll be needing them for the minute I reach her! Coming, Jennifer! Don't worry! I won't let those killer bangs ruin you! BART Happy New Year, Deveraux. JACK You too, fellas. Now, about those hefty guys with the strange accents. The Lorenzo Lamas dead ringer stole my remote again ... Thursday December 30 Quote of the DAY SHAWN Belle cannot marry Philip ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR HAROLD I will be so upset if this wedding takes place. SHAWNBOY Because of Belle? HAROLD No silly, Philip! First Jack, now this! So many of the good ones are being taken off the market! JOHN Belle, I brought a little somethin fer the guests after the ceremony ... BELLE Champaigne? JOHN Way better. High grade ISA crack - on the house! Wednesday December 29 Quote of the DAY CELESTE Something terrible is going to happen here ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BO I'll tell ya what's terrible. Billie is dumb and dumber by the day. BILLIE Georgia? Is that you? Are you in this computer now? SAMI What's terrible is that Belle is almost gonna get married before me. Boohoo! I wanna wannna wanna be the first one to get married boohoo! LUCAS Sami, what I love most about you these days is how you've changed. I mean, you no longer act like a psychotic 18 year old, now you're a psychotic 10 year old ... The woman of my dreams. PHIL Doh! They accidentally put my name on the marriage licence as Bart Simpson. SHAWNBOY Gee, I thought you were like Homer. Tuesday December 28 Quote of the DAY REX Will you marry me? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MIMI I'm not worthy! SAMI You cannot get married before me! I won't allow it! John, call the president and tell him to stop all weddings till I get hitched to whomever! JOHN Only if ya get me some stuff - man, I'm hurtin' here! Monday December 27 Quote of the DAY HOPE We could all be pawns in Tony's final game ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN Gimme a clue DiMera! TONY Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put John Black - I mean Humpty - together again ... JOHN I get it! We'll find the answers in potato chips! BILLIE Bow! I got another methage fwum Georgia! Look, in this book! BO Aw, that's just another map of the U.S. How many times do I gotta tell ya Georgia is a state in the south. REX And if my mathematical calculations serve me correctly, that means it's not in the north. December 24 Quote of the DAY ALICE May the blessings of this day be with you now and all the days of your lives ...! Thursday December 23 Quote of the DAY TONY And they say there's nothing good on T.V. anymore! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BART Can ya imagine, boss! I mean, all they gotta do is have you around on their screens, huh! JACK Say, Count, how about another Christmas duet? TONY Put your money where your mouth is, Deveraux! BART Hit it guys! EUROPEAN GUARDS Doowopwop! JACK Here comes Santa Claus here comes Santa Claus Right down Santa Claus lane ... TONY I feel so much Christmas cheer Watching John fall with his cane! JACK Bells are ringin', Jennifer singin', all is merry and bright ... TONY Hang your stockings, say your prayers Cos fatha's bones come out tonight! JACK Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus Right down Santa Claus lane ... TONY I don't care if you're rich or poor I'll imprison you just the same! JACK Santa knows we're all Salem's children That makes everything right ... TONY Fill your hearts with ghoulish dread And prepare for another long night! JACK Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus Right down Santa Claus lane ... TONY I'll come out of the shadows there So you simple folk had better beware! JACK Peace on earth, good will to all If we just follow the light ... TONY & JACK We give thanks for the top notch fans That make the DaysCafe so bright! Yes, we give thanks to the top notch fans That make the DaysCafe SOOO BRIIIGHT! TONY Say goodnight again, Jack. JACK Goodnight again, Jack. Wednesday December 22 Quote of the DAY JACK I'm just making this up as I go along ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MR. X Me too! JACK Damnation, that upstart Fitz is making moves on my wife again! CASSIE (aka Paris) What are you going to do? JACK Why, write a note of course, and then hope that Santa sees it when I slide it under this door, after which time he and his reindeer will deliver it to the fair Jennifer back in Salem ... CHLOE Nancy, I think Brady and I are doomed. NANCY Because of your scar? CHLOE No, because of that obnoxious peach fuzz he's growing. It's either me or the fuzz! Sometimes I wish real life was as simple as the opera ... Tuesday December 21 Quote of the DAY NANCY We're going home ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BRADY Hello Chloe? CHLOE Yes, it's me. BRADY Gosh, heaven must be pretty close. This is a great connection! CASSIE Oh no! What if the dead who were living are dead again after the explosion leaving us to live like the living dead! Who will rescue us? MIMI Jan, I am going to tell everyone that I don't like you and I might just tell them why when I grow a backbone! SHAWNBOY Backbone? What's that? Do I need one to ride my new bike? BILLIE Boooooooow! What haaaaappened? BO Just got stabbed by one of them damn pieces of equipment again. You fellas oughtta be careful with that stuff - I'm in the actor's union, ya know ... Monday December 20 Quote of the DAY SHAWN (to Jan) I remember being locked up in this room! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JAN So, my storyline's done here? Liars! They told me they would drag it out until 2010! SHAWNBOY Oh. Well, mebbe then I don't remember. Dunno. MIMI I might have been wrong, too. This hat is awfully tight ... REX You have such cute knitted hats, Mims. I can't wait 'till we have children. BELLE I am confused. Who should I marry? Whose baby is growing inside me? How contrived and old do these storylines have to be??? BO Shhh! I smell something! It's ... Stefano's soap! CAROLINE Manly yes but I like it, too! Friday December 17 Quote of the DAY NICOLE (on Chloe) The only thing I have going for me is that she is dead ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR NANCY That's what you think, you two bit hussy! Chloe, we need to get back to Salem ASAP to bring some finesse back to town! CHLOE You're right. Brady deserves better than that trollop. BRADY Did you hear that? I think Chloe's spirit was trying to reach me again ... CELESTE I feel so much unhappiness. LEXIE About what? CELESTE This unhappiness is my own, dahling, and it concerns my lack of a hat ... BILLIE There are only three things I need in this world - Bo's shoulder, Georgia's door, and a fascist uniform that fits like a glove. Thursday December 16 Quote of the DAY REX (to Mimi) This is real life, not some soap opera ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MIMI What exactly are you saying? REX None of this is really happening, we are not in Salem and we will no longer continue to get six figure salaries and get to wear great clothes and come to a set where we are pampered and fed very good food, so just get a grip, would ya! There's no such thing as a soap opera that's like real! BONNIE Huh? Six figure salary? They been making ME pay THEM for this gig! MIMI Rex, shut up! Nobody wants to give up their six figure salary ok! MARLENA Gosh, you'll be needing to add another digit to get mine right ... BILLIE I wonder how much Georgia gets. I mean, they'll be owing her loads of backpay ... Wednesday December 15 Quote of the DAY SHAWNBOY Was it a dream or was it real? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MARLENA Oh boy! Here we go again! BILLIE I'm searching for my daughter Louisiana. BO That's Georgia! BILLIE Oh yeah. KATE I want you all to use the script I've written. JOHN R you the Grim Reaper? KATE Far worse. I'm a corporate diva with a lot of lines and a monkey on my back that's called Sami Brady! BELLE Is it possible I'm still a virgin??? PHIL Yes. You see, I've been having this slight problem ... Tuesday December 14 Quote of the DAY HOPE I completely trust Bo ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BO Ya should, Fancyface! BILLIE Hmmm ... I know I have a hold over Bo ... Look Bo! It's a book with Georgia's name on it! Sniff sniff! She was here! BO Nope, that's a map of states in the south, the state of Georgia being one of 'em. BILLIE You mean our daughter is in the south?! Oh Bo! BO How much longer do I have ta listen ta this broad? TALL GUARD Stop at once! CLEANER I'm here to clean. TALL GUARD Don't you know this area is off limits! Only wannabe ISA agents are permitted here - ISA agents who failed basic training but have a big heart and wish to dupe married men into believing and falling in love with them ... BILLIE (Gasp) Oh Bo! Now I know we're in the right place! Besides, I didn't want to tell you this before but ... Georgia has a brother and his name is Texas! DAN. R Now that's about as unlikely as a two headed bull with his tail on fire running faster than a ten legged coyote on his way to the polls ... Monday December 13 Quote of the DAY TONY It's showtime! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BART (singing) I'm just a sweet sweet sidekick ... TONY From Transylvaniaaaa! MAGGIE Just like the Rocky Horror Picture Show! TONY Ouch! Is that coat bloody alive??? MAGGIE The Putins were having a garage sale so I snagged it to get ready for those long European winters ... TONY Ponytailed guard, remove that woman at once! PONYTAILED GUARD The one dressed like Vinnie You Poop? BART How many times do I gotta tell you fellas - it's Winnie the Pooh! TONY My favourite show is on - "Brother Knows Best" ... JOHN What is Joan Collins doin on muh pillow ...? Friday December 10 Quote of the DAY SAMI Oh God, I love them both - what am I going to do?! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR KATE I know what I'm going to do. I am going to go back to saying my lines like catwoman ... LEXIE I am going to pretend I don't mind male writers writing me like I'm clueless ... JOHN I'm gonna writhe in pain and see Tek everywhere! Tek is Santa too! LUCAS I'm going to apply to another damn soap opera ... MIMI I'm going to get Jan a new phone for Christmas. This one is so old looking. BELLE I'm going to shiver, disrobe, shiver some more, crawl into bed naked with Shawn and then marry Philip because I mean like I have always wanted a big military wedding ... Thursday December 9 Quote of the DAY SAMI You still love me, don't you? BRANDON Yes, I do ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BILLIE I think Bo thtill lovth me too. BO Huh? You need ta take speech classes! JULIE Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! MIMI Jan, if you move, I'll squirt you with water from this water pistol and that water is NOT from Europe! LUCAS (singing) Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ... Say! Is that a snow taxi? KATE It's me. I just thought I'd drive out in the storm to see how you're doing since I have no life and I'd like to make sure Sami freezes to death ... Wednesday December 8 Quote of the DAY MIMI (to Jan) You're completely crazy! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR KUPEE That's what I have been telling her for years! JAN Shutup or I'll lock you both in my foil cage! BILLIE Bow, if I keep whispering and pawing at you, will you kith me again? BO I love Hope. BILLIE I am over you! That's why I wear your perfume all over my body ... BO It still makes me crazy ... BILLIE Yeth? What makth you crazy Bow? BO It makes me crazy that the writers can't even remember my damn history! KUPEE I am going to apply to be the new head writer. Tuesday December 7 Quote of the DAY JACK I will be home for Christmas ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR TONY But only in your dreams. JACK Frosty the snowman TONY Was a DiMera as well ... JACK Jinglebell jinglebell jinglebell rock ... TONY There's a bomb in the bloody clock! JACK Silent night ... TONY Don't you dare fight! ALICE He's even changed all the Christmas songs. Good gracious me, that Tony DiMera has hijacked Christmas! TONY Say goodnight, Jack. JACK Goodnight Jack! Monday December 6 Quote of the DAY BRADY I love you Chloe ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR NICOLE Whine whine whine whine whine! Yackety yack! BRADY Aw, what the heck, you'll do I guess! BO Hope, I gotta go to Europe. BILLIE Don't worry - it's not so far. It's a town in Jersey. That's what they taught me in the ISA. FARRAH FAWCETT (Jennifer) Jack! Jack! JACK I'm here Jennifer,nearby in the town of Transylvania where I am being held by an evil Count! JENNIFER Oh my gosh! The only person I know is in those parts is Count Chocula! Jack must be stuck in the cereal box again! Friday December 3 Quote of the DAY CHLOE I want to go home, Nancy. LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR NICOLE Darn it all! I was having so much fun repeating myself! TONY Here, Victor, I brought you a couple of birds. They represent the two women in your life - just a couple of bloody caged birds! VIC How dare you! TONY How dare you raid my refrigerator every night! And don't deny it - I can see it in your belly that that's what you've been up to! Poor Bart has been without twinkies for at least a fortnight! Thursday December 2 Quote of the DAY CELESTE Your future is with Samantha and it begins tonight! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BRANDON So we're gettin married? CELESTE No dahling! It means that you will be the witness required for Sami and Lucas to tie the knot ... DAYSCAFE Don't say we didn't warn ya! SAMI So my bad luck with weddings has changed? LUCAS Not exactly ... I'm gonna pass out before we can take our vows ... Oh well! Wednesday December 1 Quote of the DAY SAMI Weddings are bad luck for me ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR LUCAS Ya think?! AUSTIN Uhuh. BRANDON Hmmm. FRANCO'S GHOST Yes, zees is what zey tried tew warn me about, zat ze Sami is ze bad look for ze wedding ... LUCAS What lousy pronunciation. Man, no wonder I shot you! And lemme say it again - they're freedom fries! SAMI Lucas, we have to elope now or else I will not be able to marry you! Help me ... cannot ... breathe! Weddingitis closes ... my throat ... breathing passages ... BELLE Shawn, meet me on the rooftop if you want to like exchange purity rings again. SHAWNBOY It's too late, isn't it? BELLE Not for me, it's not. I mean, Philip was so lousy, it kinda felt like nothing happened anyhow. HAROLD Oopsy daisy! The cat's out of the bag, is it! Tuesday December 1 Quote of the DAY BO, on Hope ... I love her so much. LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN Me too! I love Isabella and doc! BRADY Dad, you're confused. JOHN I know. I asked to have a look at my contract and look what happens! SAMI I hate you! BRADY If that means we don't have to listen to your screechy voice, then maybe that's a good thing. By the way, dad, I love Nicole but Chloe is the woman I love. JOHN No wonder yer startin ta look like that kupee doll! MICKEY I'm headed for Saudia Arabia with my two fav gals! MR. X What are you doing? That scene's not till tomorrow! Monday November 29 Quote of the DAY ABE I'm a lucky man ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BRANDON No sir, THEY are lucky to have a man like you on this show! ABE Be that as it may, they are going to make me without sight for a time. JOHN Well, Abraham, if yur able to see, then you'll be able ta whip the Keystone Cops into shape so Uh'm thinking yer blindness might be storyline seduced ... LEXIE Induced. You mean storyline induced. JOHN Doh! Do ya think doc might be the grim reaper? SAMI I hate you all! JOHN Am I hallucinatin or is that a psycho chatty cathy doll come ta life??? Friday November 26 Quote of the DAY CELESTE (to Brandon) Samantha is locked with your destiny ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BRANDON So, do we get a long lost kid, too? CELESTE Dahling, I know only what the crystals, tarot cards and tea leaves tell me ... BRANDON And what exactly is it they tell you? CELESTE That I am the most gorgeous diva for miles so it is highly abnormal that these writers do not give me a love interest! Why, every fellow on this crew is madly in love with me, dahling! SAMI Darn, I can't even read my own oven! When are these writers gonna gimme a brain! BILLIE Whine whine whine! Me, I got the best storyline on daytime t.v. these days. PATRICK And you're wasting your time and energy on someone who's happily married. I think we have a lot in common, you and I. Say, let's have dinner tonight. BILLIE You're on! But only if you call one of your DiMera contacts and get us picked in a real nice limo! SHAWNBOY If yer lookin fer a drunk driver, jes lemme know ... PHILIP BART SIMPSON I'm bored. When are they gonna ship me outta here? Wednesday November 24 Quote of the DAY BO Our daughter Georgia is still alive ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SHAWNBOY Yeah, it's me. My name is really George. KATE Gobble gobble! My name is Pilgrim Kate! Come here Turkey Sami! Gobble gobble! PATRICK Say, Billie. BILLIE What. (sniff sniff) PATRICK Nobody looks as good as you in a graveyard! DR. PHIL This is one dysfunctional town! CELESTE Thank you, dahling. Happy Thanksgiving and may the tea leaves be with you ... Tuesday November 23 Quote of the DAY BO It's not gonna change anything ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BO I mean, on this show, there's stuff you can always count on. There'll always be a lurking figure with black gloves, a lousy police department, grown women that act like they're 10 years old, contract disputes, p*ssed off fans, and dead that turn out ta be not dead. Oh yeah, I almost forgot - there's always gonna be great love scenes batween me and Hope so like I said, it's not gonna change anything!!! BILLIE Mo? SHAWNBOY My character sucks right now so can I be George? BILLIE Her name was Georgia! SHAWNBOY But mebbe like it was really a boy anyhow cos like you held the dead baby that was the wrong one ... MR. X Zowie! What a great idea! It was a boy! Thanks Shawnboy, now you don't have to go back in the cage ... SHAWNBOY How about I put you in the freakin' cage! BO Yup. That's muh boy. Monday November 22 Quote of the DAY BRANDON I can't change the past ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MR. X Why the hell not? Us writers change the past all the time, heeheehee! VIC Say, that's my trademark laugh! Get your own damn laugh! MR. X Annoy me again and I'll make your ship sink! TONY Bloody hell, here we go again ... SHAWNBOY I like sayin' bad words. Can ya give me some more? BO Watch it, son. SHAWNBOY I'm not your son, I might be Georgia as it turns out. BELLE Oh my gosh, I cannot believe it! Did you just see Philip streak past??? Guess what I read on the DaysCafe Announcements Page was true!!! |