Over 2000 Fun Logic Bloopers!
The DAYS OF OUR LIVES Cafe presents ...
Warning: If you can't stand the heat, get outta the kitchen!

Updated as of October 31, 2007
Nice that they are showing a scrapbook but whatever happened
to updating the scrapbook Hope put online for the Hortons at alicesfamilytree.com? It still shows Zack as being alive!

And never mind praying that no one would be taken away again,
how about praying for this writing to improve yuk yuk yuk!

Lucas being referred to as Horton once more conjures up images
of Horton the Tiger, who was never found years ago. Perhaps he
hightailed it to Siegfried and Roy’s magnificent tiger compound?

EJ shooting the car sure would make for a great car insurance
commercial, though stepping away as he puts it, is still not
necessarily safe, as bullets can still ricochet.

There is a pattern here …
Santo DiMera
Santo Domingo
Santo Claus

So Sami will stop the vendetta, Belle confides in Sami, Marlena
talks about Sami and EJ wants to convince Sami. Fair enough –
but instead of axing and/or downgrading the rest of the cast to
Sami groupies, why not simply start a Sami spinoff?
(right now she’s a nice girl in an increasingly irritating situation)

Rolf announces he will now report to Sami and Will…

Updated as of October 30, 2007
If Ford Double-decker bus turns out ta be like the date raping
Max Factor heir, does that mean we get to see Dog Bounty Hunter
bring him back in cuffs? Now that cameo would make the whole
thing worth watching!

Why is Chelsea suddenly written like such a schizo? I love Nick,
Nick is bad in bed, I want Jett, go away, Jett, hello Nick …
Is Jett’s 5 buck an hour salary not good enough all of a sudden?!

So the only Asian character on the show is not only a stereotypical
studious shy girl, now they’re getting rid of her. Call Affirmative Action!

Meanwhile, the Arty Miss and Da Market storyline gets abruptly ended
but everybody liked that one! And nice that the boys’ father is alive and
they can be reunited with him, but who the heck is he …?  Is this just
a quickie ending to leave even more airtime for Three’s Company?
(aka Sami/EJ/Lucas)

EJ announces that he is also the father of Artemis and Demarquette …
Lucas changes his name to Horton the Tiger and gets a job at the Mirage …
Ford makes a pass at Billie so she tells him to go vendetta himself …

Updated as of October 25, 2007
EJ to Salem P.D. “Who is it you would like me to mate?”
(that would be ‘meet’ teehee)

So the first bubble gum machine paternity test was a lie, the second
bubble gum machine paternity test was a lie, and now the third bubble
gum machine paternity test will be true, but nobody thinks to shut down
that dang lab! They ain’t worth the quarter, folks …

Phil says Belle convinced herself “in her head” that she wanted to be
with him. That wasn’t her head talkin, darlin!

Well, hothead Shawn has once again proven why he should never wear
a law enforcement badge.

Welcome to Salem, almost U.S.A., where having Andre on yer speed dial
gets ya thrown in the slammer!

Meanwhile, Sami tells Lucas “I feel like I got hit by a Matra” Matra is
a mountain range in Hungary, a beat in Indian classical music, and a
French aeronautics company – all of which are way more interesting
than the DNA switching storyline on Days … A Mack Truck, however,
is a big, common truck that often gets stuck in traffic, like the Sami/Lucas/EJ fiasco, so that’s probably what she meant. Mack Truck.

Claire heads for the pub, where she beats up the writers …
Mega-shocker! Howard Stern is the father of both twins!

Updated as of October 16, 2007
If only they’d give poor Cousin It Stephanie a decent hairstyle, maybe
she’d be the lucky gal out for nachos with Maxwell Smart,
man about town…

Morgan is fun but she is more supermodel than Salem sorority sister …

Speaking of sisters, now that John has been run over by the
Dimeramobile, that Flying Nun Colleen suddenly seems to be of
less interest to everyone …

Snorters anonymous? Kindly cut down on the dosage of crying drops
given to some of the actresses.

Let’s play vendetta! If you rearrange the letters in “vendetta” you get  …
“TV End Date” !  yuk yuk yuk! Of course, the 'd' was used twice, so it
was really a play on "vendettad." How about you? Have you been
vendettad today ..?

EJ thanks Sami for being so in hate with him …
Stephanie goes undercover as a dorito …
John wakes up on Direct TV ...

Updated as of October 9, 2007

Think Colleen and Santo are really finished? They might be, but their
story goes on as Sami and EJ keep talking about, rehashing the whole
thing again and again and again …

Kayla can't call Mickey, cos they don’t accept Salem calls on the
General Hospital set! Speaking of John Ingle, this guy really does
deserve a medal cos not only did he put up with a nutty Days storyline
before running back to GH, the dude actually was once Nicolas Cage's
high school teacher!

Mickey has been MIA almost as long as Cassie, half of that twin set of
Rex/Cassie, who were Roman's long lost twins. Speaking of
which … nobody even told ‘em Roman was in the hospital recently huh!

Meanwhile, Chelsea gets a sniffling alert. Eww!

Mebbe next time Stefano should do us all a favor and get the whole
freakin storyline annulled! The fact of the matter is, there is no DiMera
vendetta storyline, there has been a triangle involving Sami. No more,
no less. Stefano and Tony and even Andre became add-ons to the tale
of Sami’s triangle.

So when do the DiMeras get a storyline of their own??? When John
wakes up on another show?!

Ford Decker introduces the gang to his parents, Black and Decker,
and Double Decker Bus … (seriously, though, he seems to be a nice guy)

Updated as of October 3, 2007
How profound of Chelsea and Stephanie to join the Charlie’s
Angels from Hell sorority ..

As EJ flutters his lashes at a rate of 1000 blinks per second …

Vendetta. There is not a scene in which this word – vendetta –
isn’t spoken at least a dozen vendetta times!

Welcome to Dialing for Dollars a la Patchman!

Meanwhile, Sami loves hates loves hates loves hates EJ but
wants to protect divorce leave love protect save Lucas cos
Colleen fell down half a century ago. Alrightee.

Given the murder and mayhem in town, the Salem P.D. decide to hire
another officer, bringing the grand total on the force to 5 …
The Vendetta goes from contract to recurring status.

Updated as of September 26, 2007
Vendetta vendetta vendetta vendetta vendetta vendetta vendetta
vendetta vendetta vendetta vendetta vendetta vendetta. That's
about how many times you hear the word in every 5 minute segment!

Well, he might have baby powder in his hair sometimes, but that don't
change the fact that Pete Brady looks the same age as daughter Colleen!

It is increasingly difficult to understand the words in this foreign film ...
But the biggest blooper of all is the reference to the chairch spiritual
advisor "Farter Mallory!"

Meanwhile, Jeremy does indeed redeem himself by jumping Harry
Belafonte as Lennny Kravitz bangs on the door.

Roman manages to get a call through to Bo, who mistakes him for a
heavy breather and hangs up ...

Updated as of September 24, 2007

And now for something completely different …

Andre accidentally buries himself!
Sami marries Santo’s ghost …
John fakes his death to show he could have died of boredom …
The writers admit they read the calendar wrong and thought
Halloween was in September.
Stephanie enters a hog calling/squealing competition …
Young Stefano claims Elvis Presley is still alive.
2 million viewers’ television sets are blown up!

Updated as of September 18, 2007
The Salem P.D. say Andre is “more violent than ever.” But the
dude used to be a freakin serial killer called the Salem Slasher!

Meanwhile, hunky Phil has to repeat yet another round of
“I love you, you love me …”

And Stephanie now defends Jeremy! Mebbe she oughtta let the road kill
on her head think for both of them in the future!

Speaking of Big Moose Jeremy, he should focus on his own problems -
like the fact that a really bad guy wants to kill him and the Salem P.D.
want to lock him up and throw away the key - instead of wondering how
come the Stevemeister broke the law …

Poor Roman! For the last year they’ve buried his storyline, now he follows
it six feet under!

Steve admits he was with O.J. on the Vegas heist, too ...

Updated as of September 17, 2007
Jan Spears and her cage are long gone but Shawn still gets written hapless.
If it ain’t broke, he’ll burn it – even himself! He then gets saved by
mommy … Man oh man, this guy still ain’t written right!

Meanwhile, Shawn Sr. dreams of playing in lorries. Is it genetic?!

They sure are using the charch (as Coealeena would say it) for lots of
sinful scenes lately, ranging from attempted murders of bogus dead
people to the fibs of hot to trot almost nuns …

APB in Salem = Always phone Bo!

Lastly but not leastly, the close ups are fab but reveal a shocking secret –
namely that the blondes on the show have got plastic looking wigs and hair extensions. Eek!

Super Claire brings down Andre …
EJ rents the bed next to Sami ...

Updated as of September 4, 2007
It still breaks the magic that popa Stephanie popa does not look
or act even remotely related  to popa Steve popa and Kayla …

That having been said, when Patch tells Stephanie and that road kill
she wears on her head she’s “not an airhead,” his nose gets ready to
grow longer than Pinocchio’s.

Meanwhile, here’s to hoping Santo DiMera  is gone before the
season for Santo Claus!

I tell ya, it’s been a mistake not to give John Black decent airtime cos
judging from all this internet madness, the dude makes news with or
without decent airtime … and that’s a fact!

Who turned out the lights? Salem just got darker than Britney Spears’
makeup room.

And where did Phil’s nice blond hair go?

Lucas and EJ are revealed to be siamese twins …
The Unabomber sends Santo a letter he’ll never forget …

Updated as of August 20, 2007
EJ tells Lucas “Kate’s asses have been frozen for months …”
(that would be assets, dear chap, but you still do cut an impressive
picture in a tie!)

TL has noticed that the imploded Sands Hotel was shown yet again – as
a standing impossibility – in the Vegas backdrop, this time when Max
emerged from his gropefest in the whirlpool …

No jet lag for Bo after his long 30 second walk from the Irish church
set back to Salem!

Love Steve, but when are they gonna let him take the Fonze’s jacket
off his eye? Roman says "Andre is out there harboring this leather
thingamajig." That would be Steve, dude! And it’s still stuck on his eye!

Spoiler ahead! Warning!
Get ready for another
Gimme that piece of yer organ storyline in Salem!
First it was a kidney, now it’ll be a slice of liver. Bodyparts of Our Lives.

Ilsa Warrior Princess rescues Wayne Newton from the Sands hotel …

Updated as of August 15, 2007
Holy writing! Bo the Catholic says "damn" in the Irish church!

Why is it that every Lucas scene has EJ in it and vice versa? Are
these guys joined at the hip?!

Good news in Salem. Roman’s brain, which had been missing for years,
has finally returned.

Touch the Sky hasn’t exactly touched the ratings now has it!

This whole EJ saving Lucas in the cold is too much like an even more
warped version of … well ...  EJ saving Lucas in the cold! First it was
the cabin, then the freezer.

We all know what Lascivious Lowell is really after – that persian carpet
on Stephanie’s head!

21 Jump Street Jett makes a deal with all the felons on the plane …
EJ saves Lucas from Tonya Harding at the Winter Olympics …

Updated as of August 9, 2007
If Lauren wants to prove she has a baby, why not show the real
baby! Doh!

There is too much screaming and attempted murder on this show.
Get me an aspirin!

The Bradys should really give the Pope his house key back …

A thump on the head to Shawn for not wanting Belle to have a life!
He is written too much like a clueless Neanderthal.

Nick, meanwhile, has morphed into a full-fledged dope!

Billie is such a stunner, she'd have the guys lining up in real life.

EJ carjacks an ice cream truck …
The Phantom of the Opera asks Lexie for his cape back ...

Updated as of August 3, 2007
As EJ daydreams about being an actor on a soap opera …

The heavies do what they sign those plum contracts for – so they
can read non-existent characters’ non-existent letters at the latest
gathering of the Vets-for-Scripts association.

It’s all about KEYS, folks. Bart eats his key and Santo of expanding
moustache fame would like a KEYS from Suffragette Sister Colleen.

Holy Royal Doubletake! Jeremy is suddenly the spitting image of
Prince Harry!

Everyone in Salem now knows Foxy Jett is a not-so-undercover ISA …

It is finally revealed that Colleen died in a passionate kiss
with Santo when his expanding moustache suffocated her …
Julie reads the gang the letter in Latin as Doug tries to seduce
her with a song - now that there is a real supercouple.
The blooper is they don't get enough airtime!

Updated as of August 1, 2007
Next thing you know, they’ll have Sami chanting REDRUM!
REDRUM! REDRUM! Stop the insanity!

Stephanie defies stereotypes as she proves that brunettes can be
dumb blondes, too!

You tell Kate, Nick! It’s all about Revenge of the Nerds …

Meanwhile, Chelsea continues to do what she usually does – get mad.
She doesn’t need a man, she needs a meal by golly!

Great storyline Marlena has. She gets to read Colleen’s letters and
talk about Sami, Colleen, and Santo.

Plans are announced to reunite Roman and Kate so
Roman stabs himself, Bo breaks the television camera, and
Marlena talks about what Santo would say if he were here …

Updated as of July 27, 2007
Nick tries to talk Chelsea into marrying him by bringing up
Britney Spears’ whim wedding in Vegas – but that one got
annulled faster than you could say Wayne Newton!

Why do central/eastern European women always get portrayed
like victims? In real life, Ilsa would be smacking Jeremy,
Zsa Zsa Gabor style!

What’s Jerry Springer’s phone number? I gotta go to Vegas
with this guy and get my “winnings” put on his account, too.

This one comes from TL …
“The blooper from the Las Vegas hot tub scenes earlier this week.....
if you look in the background scenery, you'll see The Sands Hotel,
which was imploded at least 5 years ago.  Yes, they're using an old

Nick admits he is Borat’s American cousin …

Borat implodes ...

Updated as of July 19, 2007
Nice to see Shawn Sr. gets to say a sentence today!

This whole EJ and Lucas and Sami thing can be solved in one
way that would make all the fans happy – have two Samis! One
Sami to complete Lumi and one Sami to complete Ejami and yet
a third on holidays to complete Collanto, which sounds like a
European ice cream anyhow.

Enough of this Flying Nun meets the Berlitz Italian teacher at a
vegetarian picnic stuff! Cut to the chase, already!

What a bummer bumping off Bart just when he’s so funny!

Poor Phil. He needs a girl and a life but all he gets are crank calls.

Stefano converts the Brady pub into Pubo de la Bradio …

Updated as of July 10, 2007
Colleen's habit looks like it originally belonged to someone taller,
like Sister Moira Mary!

Well, shiver me timbers but I be havin’ a hard time understandin
this turn-o-the-century Irish talk! It be getting a wee
better now but when te lads forst brought in Mister Sento, I could
naught be understandin a single freakin word tey said!

EJ is a cute Santo, but the look is very Wyatt Earp (19th century gun
slinging Kansas lawman), See for yourself –

click on wyatt earp photo here

Nick is so depressed of late, he is starting to be depressing.

Meanwhile, Stephanie continues to wear road kill on her head.

Pete challenges Father hanky fetish to a river dance …
Grandpa Shawn admits he can't even get properly drunk on
account of the watered down booze he be sellin ...

Updated as of July 3, 2007
Maybe next time Roman should call Dr. Phil or better yet, Dr. Ruth!

As Rolfski and EJ rush in the room together, EJ accidentally
pushes the dastardly doc and makes him lose his balance!

Given that Belle and Shawn are so strapped for cash, mebbe Belle ought
to have a look at her ID to remind herself that John moneybags Black is
her papa! Then again, she’s probably smarter than anyone for not counting
on him cos the dude is nowhere to be seen, comatose or awake!

Poor Shawn, how come they always make him say he feels like an idiot?
(perhaps to compensate for the fact that they keep writing him like one?)

Say babysitter Vic, have you checked the children? Muhuhahaha!

Stephanie turns 13 …
Roman O.D.s on viagra …
Nick feuds with Jett's hairbrush

Updated as of June 26, 2007
The Three Tenors – Stefano, Tony, and EJ – are an excellent
crime family! The only blooperology  is that bad boy in training EJ
still blinks too much …

Ever since Abby left, Max has become a dumb bunny
but at least he defended Steph! (that be Stephanie, not Stefano)

Here comes another predictable Kate scheme that will involve
blackmail, trouble for Sami, then an angry Lucas who
cuts all ties with Kate– again!

Nick better not start dating Billie after he and the daughter break up  …

And Dayra wrote in that both Bart and Stefano sounded like they
were calling Colleen “your great aunt Colleen” to EJ and Tony! Seems
that a microphone malfunction or a sound editing issue musta made the
H sound disappear from “her.”

Anna admits her real name is Scarlett O’Hara …
Jeremy, Jett, and Max are discovered to be the reincarnation
of the Village People!

Updated as of June 19, 2007
Swell that the groovy young fellas (Jeremy, Jett et al) have a
brand new airline, but somebody should tell them they’ll be needing
something else to get started – a plane! So far no aircraft sightings.
Remember way back when, all the horse sounds that were heard from
the Kiriakis stables but never a horse was seen? Soon that  horse
sounds person will now be making plane sounds for Jeremy and Jett’s
most excellent aviation adventure.

Poor Shawn. Now even Claire acts like he’s a loser.

When EJ talks about what happened at the warehouse, he calls it the “Whitehouse.”

Last week Sharon wrote in that EJ called Sami “Aly,” her real name –
and them there cameras just kept a rollin!

Ever notice how Salem bombs never have fragments, shrapnel, etc.
They’re more like earthquakes.

Jeremy asks Max to invest in a Space Shuttle knockoff …

Updated as of June 12, 2007
Shawn always gets such dumb bunny lines!

And Nick used to be way smarter.

“Too cool for school” says Chelsea. Very 1970s!

What is up with the Stephen King psycho forklift? Just another
excuse to make Sami scream? She’d already screamed enough at

Still no one has noticed that JETT works for the AIRLINES.

So Chelsea tells a guy she just met that her boyfriend slept with
her mom … Ewww!

Seems like Jeremy will be running NUDIST AIRINES.

The Forklift goes to work for the Salem P.D…
Shawn wonders how they get the peanut butter in the peanut butter cups …
Claire explains it to him.

Updated as of June 4, 2007
Lucas and Sami got married so … we can watch every
Sami scene with EJ in it?! How many people are in this marriage?

Meanwhile, the Keystone Cops get foiled by Rolfski yet again!

Chelsea is a lovely gal with stunning eyes but she needs a good meal.

EJ keeps banging poor Sami’s head! First in the car when he yanks her
head back, then when he lays her on the ground, it’s another bangfest!

Stephanie acts about 13 years old.

Jeremy and Jett are cuties but – Jeremy looks barely old enough to drive,
let alone pilot a plane and couldn’t they have given JETT of the airline fame another name?!

Okay, time to give Lucas more lines other than “Stay away from my wife!”

EJ buys Sami a healthy Big Mac with fries …

Updated as of May 28, 2007
So Tony got outta jail but Salem was unaware … Pretty much
says it all!

Meanwhile, naughty Lurch EJ needs to find another gal to obsess
over cos Sami comes up to his kneecaps. And she might be pint
sized next to his blinking tallness, but she is heads above him in
intelligence, cos she figured her baby was in danger, whereas EJ
was surprised that the DiMeras wanted all them there living cells!

But wait! Lucas and Sami the newlyweds’ scenes have been replaced
with the escapades of EJ and Sami. How come that hunky Lucas
always gets shortchanged?

Amazing how John has been sleeping for months and yet wakes
up without a big fuzzy beard/stubble, not to mention his fluffy,
blowdried hair!

Shawn and Belle sure take up lots of airtime repeating the same ol dialogue
(last month it was Patch and Kayla’s turn)

John asks who shot JR …

Updated as of May 15, 2007
Big exciting day as Hope asks Chelsea is she is still
a “wex vuwgin” (wax virgin)! Ooo the suspense!

Wonder if Willow actually watched the Al Gore movie.
The hanging chads show or Save the Planet from my Limo?

And when someone states “My unmentionables are on the floor,”
they must be talking about Willow's lines cos the fact that she gets any
sure is unmentionable!

Are we seeing double? Gaby now has hair on both sides of her head!
Speaking of Gaby,
in a space of ten seconds, she goes up to Shawn
and Belle’s room, looks for the GPS and solves the mystery of
“God punishes sinners!”

Shawn and Chelsea really are bro and sis cos they both got the same
purply hair of late!

Meanwhile, Shawn seems surprised ya can’t trust that Phil! Ya think!
But he’s then ready to trust maniacal Steve! Stop writing Shawn like the
weakest link, he is supposed to be a HERO, not a ZERO.


Updated as of May 11, 2007
The Johnny Depp uniformed cop’s hair was longer than
permitted by the Salem P.D.

Have Kayla and Sami switched roles? Now Angela Lansbury
Kayla says she will
make him pay!

Father Trump? As Sandy pointed out, the priest had this to say
at the LUMI wedding … “By the power INVESTED in me …”

Just a technicality, but no one on Tinda Lao is any more tanned,
burned etc. than when they arrived!

Oh oh! Five hundred years bad luck for Roman for saying “damn”
in front of the church.

Meanwhile Kate has morphed into a madam.

Kayla steals Bo’s chainsaw for her next role …

Updated as of May 10, 2007
How come no one in Salem ever worries about their car insurance
skyrocketing after an accident???

It’s either drugging people or breaking and entering with these folks.
Welcome to Felonville, U.S.A.!

EJ orders Steve to kill SHOWN. No wonder Steve is so confused!

And were those hush puppies EJ was wearing at the wedding?

Frances Ford Copola (“The Godfather”) directed the wedding epi!

And how about that Walton’s music at the reception …
Johnboy, may I have this dance?

P.S. I am a human blooper for having called Stephanie Chelsea
yesterday. I’m not worthyyyyy! But they are similar are they not!

Lucas Corleone makes EJ eat cake ...

Updated as of May 9, 2007
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a flying Stephanie!

Is Roman studying karate? His gestures are suddenly very
martial artsy!

While the rest of town goes green, Chelsea’s hair is slowly
but surely turning

Not so smarty pants EJ tells the thugs he hires “my hands stay clean” –
just as he hands them that envelope with his fingerprints all over it!

Stephanie was popa popa popa but gentlemen now gentlemen EJ
gentlemen the popular gentlemen DiMera cutie gentlemen has a
gentlemen tick of his gentlemen own!

Heff offers Will a job as a photographer …
(that’s Heff, not Hoff, no burgers on the floor please!)

Updated as of May 1, 2007
EJ’s legs appear to grow an extra inch longer with every lie.
(only his legs, ok!)

Popa Stephanie needs to popa stop popa acting popa like a
twelve popa year old!

Nick’s brain seems to have moved down from his head  -
and then some!

Shawn and Phil really need to stop relying on mommy and daddy
while Claire doesn’t want to rely on her mommy and daddy at all,
given how she keeps trying to squirm away and when that doesn’t
work, she babbles her complaints to the camera operator!

And what gypsy’s wardrobe did Kate raid???

EJ moons Sami …
Duck sells Phil the island of Maui for ten bucks.

Updated as of April 27, 2007
Oh oh. Bo wants DNA evidence for Willow’s baby. DNA test in
Salem really means
Don’t Nothin’ Add up!

Meanwhile, EJ gets a makeover.

Wigs Gone Wild!
Sami’s hair gets progressively curlier throughout the same day while
Shawn’s looks ready to bite someone.

Nice that Belle is in love but not so nice that she seems to have
inherited Lexie’s loud sniffling from those “you will cry now” drops.

Where the heck do they put the microphones? In people’s mouths,
judging from the loud slurps we keep hearing every time folks on the
show slurp smack kiss!

Stephanie popa is a popa cute girl popa but popa why popa does she popa
keep popa saying “popa”  like some popa sorta freakin popa tick?!

Zombie EJ asks Sami to be his date at the 1776 waltz of independence …

Updated as of April 20, 2007
Gabby and her tae bo gestures are sinking into the floor right
before our very eyes just about every time she is supposed to
be standing! Quick, throw this gal a life line!

Kayla is nervous about EJ, Steve, now seeing her own daughter.
Is there anything she isn’t nervous about???

And Dr. Kraft singles sure is more interesting than that big human
egg Foley. Put her back on Steve’s case already!

They told us a little while ago that Sami and Lucas were gonna be
written like a comedic duo. So what happened to that?! We’re back
to Sami as a victim on the edge, Lucas getting duped, while Catwoman
Kate hisses away at the sidelines …

Now that new Stephanie is in town to get Abby in trouble, Abby is
taking off for the summer!

EJ looks inside Sami’s socks, to make sure the Salem P.D. aren’t
hiding in them …

Updated as of April 18, 2007 yuk yuk yuk
Did Max give Chelsea some car oil gel for her hair or what?!

Speaking of Chelsea, she acts like a sleaze but is really a virgin.
Odd. She sure doesn't act like a wex vuwgin! ("wax virgin")

Looks like Phil is winning the wacky villain war as EJ blinks on …

Is “Willow’s Hairbrush” going to be a Days spinoff? Is that how
come so much time is wasted on it?!

Meanwhile Max gives Dr. Phil a run for his money but still hasn’t
gotten a new jacket since he came to Salem! In the meantime,
Stephanie got a new face.

It is time for Kate to get something she hasn’t had for years – a life!

EJ heads to Vegas to marry Neway Tonewn, the anagram for
Wayne Newton …
Nick admits he stole Monica Lewinsky’s dress, too!

Updated as of Friday the 13th!
Dr. Kraft Singles really needs to live up to her name and get the
hospital inmates at least one good cheese sandwich.

Just before the Sheriff of Nottingham showed up, it was next to
impossible to hear Shawn and Belle’s dialogue, cos Claire was talking
louder than them - at the same time!

Gabby, who talks like she’s Valleygirl singing, keeps pointing just like
that loonietune Gloria on the 'Young and the Restless.' This is a first.
A daytime crossover pointfest! Gabber then tries to convince Shawn to
take her to Australia, proudly stating “I'm good with the BULL” (boat?)

Can’t wait for Dark Prince Tony to show up and show Monty Python
blinker EJ what a real DiMera is!

Last but not least, looks like Kayla is the latest recipient of the official
Days neon bandaid on the forehead. Could be weeks, folks!

NEXT ON DAYS - And now for something completely different!
EJ admits he just wants to be able to film himself doing the Monty Python
Silly Walk and put it on TV. Watch the results here, in case ya missed it last
time –
The Monty Python Silly Walk! (outside link)

Updated as of April 10, 2007
One flew East, one flew West, how comes Days flew over
the Cuckoo’s Nest?!

Paging Dr. Kraft Singles!

Kayla needs to get some new lines instead of getting the same ones
day after day after day.

Never mind EJ and Celeste and their wacky plans, Sami also has
to contend with wearing them high heels at home lately – now those
must be murder!

Lastly but not leastly, EJ keeps whipping out his cell phone and making
secret phone calls where people can – and do – overhear him day after
day after day. A cry for attention perhaps?

Bo flashes the hidden camera in his house …
Kayla becomes a go-cart racer …
Dr. Kraft Singles marries Chuckie Cheese.

Updated as of April 6, 2007
Lucas gets a marijuana suit, man!

Oh lordy please don’t do another man sleeps with his gal’s mom
storyline, with Abe and Celeste! Bring back Lexie for Abe.

The cop at the cop shop computer musta been about 13 years old!

What a hoot how shaggy hay head Willow sputters how Chelsea
is the one having a bad hair day!

It looks more and more like EJ grows with every lie! And every time
Kate talks to him, she suddenly grows a British accent. But the doozie
is when EJ talks about the POTTY they’ll be havin after the wedding

And now that Tony’s comin back, he’ll have to make Maggie and the
Chez Rougers give back the DiMera mansion set once and for all!

The last few episodes turn out to be a long hallucination caused by the
green magic mushrooms served at Lucas and Sami’s wedding …

Reported as of April 4, 2007
First the kidney story now the revolving hairbrush oh brother!

If not one character really cares about the environment, what is
the point of this green wedding???

Meanwhile, Nick is turning into Walter Mitty, the old movie
character who lived through his daydreams!

So the cat’s outta the bag! Jack is anti-maxipad!

Lastly but not leastly, Lucas is now given the P word – protect.
Bo protects Hope, John protects Marlena, Lucas protects Sami
but who protects the viewers from the overuse of the same word?

Kayla sells her hot Stefano pics to Playgirl …
EJ starts to walk around Salem doing the Monty Python silly walk.

Reported as of April 3, 2007
EJ the blinking organ thief and hanger-on and hacker … 
Man the guy needs to get a life already!

Phil the pill tells Gabby – a total stranger – how he doesn’t trust people
anymore AFTER he has told her his life story!

Aw shucks, Max keeps the priest collar, talk about a sinner!

Sami has a nice suntan on her face. Did she sneak off to Tinda Lao
for some almost fun in the sun?

How come Nick always acts like he’s got a big wad of gum in
his mouth?! And if not, what or who the heck is hiding in there?!

Love Celeste, but what the dickens is a DIMEEWA???

Shawn hangs a moon at the window to stop Phil from coming upstairs so Phil starts to sing and Belle counter-attacks with spitballs as Captain Claire declares
a mutiny and takes control of Duck’s bar. The drinks are on the house!

Reported as of March 30, 2007
Yup, it sure looks like John’s kidney huh! Must be the way it raises
that eyebrow …

The doc tells Steve she tried calling Kayla at her office but Kayla thus
far has not had an office!

And Shawn and Belle’s wardrobe sure has multiplied on Tinda Lao!

Some folks in Salem have on heavy coats and winter wear, while others
are in summery outfits and mini-skirts soooooo, what season is the studio?!

Max says he’s always wanted to see the world - but he used to be a world
class race car driver who traveled the world!

Stefano and his ring give the finger to the powers that be who won’t let
him wake up!
Kayla sells her photos to perezhilton.
Shawn attacks Flipper for whistling at Belle so she folds more stolen laundry.

Reported as of March 29, 2007
If the bar folks don’t approve of Charlie’s drinking, what the heck do
they keep selling him booze?! I’ll tell ya why – cos he’s apparently the
only customer around!

And where are all the Tinda Lao birds - they must be passed out drunk.

No one ever puts sunscreen on fair Claire in the tropical sun!

John doesn’t get a storyline but his missing kidney must be on contract!

Steve says he might be able to catch up on the soaps and figure out
what’s happening when he’s on meds and tanked up and drooling.
But that tanked up and drooling part must be a reference to a
writer’s meeting … yuk yuk yuk!

Foley and Willow announce their engagement …
Max goes undercover at the Vatican …

Reported as of March 28, 2007

On the Lost Island, never mind Charlie, it sounds like Gabby’s been
dipping into the booze too… Is that why she failed to warn Shawn
he was the sheriff’s brother-in-law?

Kayla sure must know about some great last minute deals to Europe!

Oh no! Sami’s shower was crashed by squatters cos those folks in
the background sure weren’t Days actors!

Phil then asked hostess Sami “Are you ok with my hair?”
(he meant
are you ok with me here. Did he dip into the island booze, too?)

Lucas  walked into the party with a straight tie, then moments later,
his tie was crooked. Someone can’t keep their hands off this guy!

Gilligan shows up on the island and asks Duck for relationship advice
cos Ginger still won’t give him a date ...

Reported as of March 27, 2007
EJ goes for a confused Moses look …

Kate, however, shows what a circus the shower is by
parading around in her best ringmaster get-up.

And poor diva Celeste’s psychic powers aren’t even good enough
to warn her not to talk loudly as a door is opened cos you never know
when EJ is behind it! Speaking of EJ, why is he everywhere? He is
starting to appear anywhere anytime, kinda like Zelig.

On the Lost Island, Gabby still only has hair on one side of her head.

And in the under 18 months crowd, Claire makes a hearty grab for
Shawn’s bottle of beer, spilling the secret of why she’s so giggly teehee!

Bo puts out an APB on Celeste’s missing psychic powers …
EJ asks Sami’s hanky to marry him …

Reported as of March 19, 2007
Rewind to a few years ago with the Kate and Lucas and Sami scenario …
oh brother! Kate, meanwhile, has a very Lion King do …

And never mind the wedding dress, how about getting Sami a slip that isn’t
too baggy on her!

Well, he may almost have a beard now, but it don’t change the fact that EJ
is still more Hugh Grant than DiMera …

Lucas had a great tie on today but it was so crooked it made ya wonder what
the sly devil was doing between takes – and with whom!

Great to have Marlena back but who the heck put her in the Nazi coat?!

Steve admits he was the real Unabomber …

Reported as of March 12, 2007

EJ is a good lookin fella but he seems more Irish wise guy than DiMera. He
also tells Steve he can’t handle his own WAIF.(wife)

Billie’s  character has sunk to an all-time irreversible low. What a shame.
And this stuff makes us all sick, not just Chelsea.

Abracadabra! Why doesn’t diva Celeste use her psychic powers to connect
with Lexie ...!

Jed needs to lose the Jaclyn Smith look. Cut the hair, dude!

We know Abby’s cute but did the waiter really mean to say “Here you are, FOX. Bon appetit!” If so, what is Maggie gonna do about it?!

Celeste accuses her hat collection of spying for the DiMeras …
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Don't hate me because I'm funny ...