| WELCOME TO THE DOG EAT DOG CORPORATE WORLD OF SALEM, U.S.A., WHERE MEN AND WOMEN SECRETLY DREAM OF BEING TOP DOG ... IN THE END, ONLY ONE WILL SURVIVE, BUT WHO WILL IT BE ??? And who will get fired from toDAY ...? April 15, 2004 "Ok, this is it, folks. T Day" Lucas "Thump Day?" Thump "No, Teleprompter Day. I'll be reading everything I say off the one to the right, but don't worry, I'll still have a straight face. First I wanna ask Tek's team. How did he do this week?" Nicole "I felt he was too laid back." Thump "You are nothing but a two faced liar and a cheat." Nicole "Of course." Thump "Go on." Nicole "Tek has never been shirtless so that's a problem right there." Thump "John, thanks for coming back. What's your take on Tek?" John (teary eyed) "I love this guy. He does something I have been trying to do for years." Thump "What's that?" John "He can think. He is one smart person. Me, these days ... doc ... I don't have a clue ..." Thump "How about you, Sami? What's your opinion of Tek's leadership?" Sami "I hate Lucas!" Thump "But you were on Tek's team." Lucas "Yeah, Scami!" Sami "Shut up! I hate you all!" Thump "Tek, you were low key. What have you got to say for yourself?" Tek "It's not my fault. Bo woke up so they put me on the back burner." Celeste "Something vewy stwange is going on here ..." Thump "Whatever. Now to Lucas' team. Rex, how did you find Lucas as a leader?" Rex "He is very talented and maybe one day he'll be as talented as me." Thump "Bonnie, what did you make of him?" Rex "Bonnie is very talented and maybe one day she'll be as talented as me." Bonnie "Be quiet, Einstein!" Mimi (horrified) "Moooooom! Well, I thought like Lucas is like great but maybe like nervous like ..." Thump "Is that good or bad?" Mimi "Oh, I'm not sure. I don't have my dictionary here." Bonnie "I'm sure! The kid is a winner! He should be dating my daughter!" Mimi "Moooooom!" Thump "Lucas, Mimi says you're a bit nervous. What have you got to say for yourself?" Lucas "I am a go getter! Of course I'm nervous, look who's sitting near me! It's Scami! I love you, Scami!" Sami "Boohoo! Everybody hates me!" Thump "Ok, I've made my decision. Tek, I'm sure you'll have a nice life somewhere. LUCAS, YOU'RE HIRED!" Celeste (breathing heavily) "Something is stwange. My wig is twying to tell me something ..." Lucas "What do I get?" Thump "The opportunity to lick my boots for a whole year while driving around in a fancy car and training to work in my company. You will help build the biggest buildings in the world." Lucas "That's it? Man, then I quit! Tony DiMera was way cooler to work for! Deception, dishonest deals, green goop, excitement - you name it, we did it!" Celeste (starts to shake) "Wait! Wait! That presence I am feeling ... It is STEFANO!!!" Thump (stands up, removes mask, revealing Stefano) "Hahahahaha! The rrrrreal Thump is a captive in my compound, wherrrrrrre I am brrrrrrainwashing him! Hahaha!" Celeste (screams) "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Stefano (walks toward window and crashes through it) "Hahahahaha!" Lucas "Wow! He just turned into a bat and flew away!" Tek "Guess we're back to square one." Lucas "No, I'm still the winner and you're the loser! Better luck next time!" Stefano's Voice "Be surrrrrrre to tune in to the next Apprrrrrentice, when you will see some new faces, some old faces and perrrrrhaps some dead ones! Hahahahaha!" Sami "I hate you, Lucas!" Lucas "I hate me too! Now gimme a big kiss!" Marlena (enters) "Oh ... could this be ... the Apprentice? Oh ... what is going on? They tell me that's what it is ...oh ..." Alice "You need to have faith because, with writing like this, that's all there really is ..." Stefano's Voice "Hahahahaha!" April 9, 2004 "We're getting down to the wire here." Rex "I don't know anything anymore. I think it's because I'm a Brady." Thump "Just four of you left. Belle, Lucas, Rex, and Tek. Shawn is out because he said he's got some soul searching to do and Mimi decided to go shopping." Rex "Hey, you said our first names in alphabetical order. That is so cool." Thump "Now I'll tell you the results of your interview with my executives today." Belle "I was wondering who those unfriendly people were." Thump "Belle, they told me you're too shallow." Belle "Thanks!" Thump "BELLE, YOU'RE FIRED!" Belle "Does that mean I didn't do well?" Thump "Rex, you flirt too much and you must have the blankest eyes I have ever seen - not a winning combination. Besides, Belle decided she would never want to date you anyhow ... REX, YOU'RE FIRED!" Rex's Response "I don't know anything anymore. I think it's because I'm a Brady." Thump "Lucas and Tek, I just want you both to know that I'm stuck with you as the last two and I really don't like you but you're smart." Tek "Not a problem. I have no problems with anybody." Lucas "Did I mention I'm a great looking guy and I have run companies?" Thump "This last project you will have to do is a big one. You will each have to select your own team and plan a dinner party that will be attended by dead people who really aren't dead. Are you up for it?" Tek "I have no problems with anybody. Matter of fact, I think I'll hire the biggest b*tch I can find just to prove that." Lucas "I have my own style. I like to delegate. Plus I look great behind a desk." Thump "See you next week, gentlemen. We'll be two hours then so I can milk this for what it's worth. By the way, this morning I had security remove some delusional guy who claimed I was infringing on his trademark. Just thought I'd warn you in case you happen to run into him. I was pretty spooked since he was being followed by bats and a man with a pen and pad who kept giggling madly." Celeste (whispers) "There is something vewy mystewious about this Thump. I am going to find out all his secwets! I wondew if he knows I twaveled with Stefano ..." April 2, 2004 "Unfortunately, John and Marlena have dropped out of the race to deal with some personal problems so we're now getting down to the wire. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do ..." Sami "You always say that!" Lucas "Hey Scami! I always have to pick up the pieces for you!" Sami "Shut up Lucas!" Tek "I am highly educated." Sami "Shut up Tek!" Thump "Who made the most money for me today?" Belle (smiles) "We all made a dollar!" Shawn "Actually Belleanimedfee..." Thump "What?????" Shawn "Ahem. Excuse me .. always get that frog or something in my throat ... Belle and me made fifty cents each but we are like one couple so like that means like we made a dollar together like ..." Celeste "Oh no! I hope I am not too late!" Thump "Too late for what?" Celeste "I don't know!" Thump "Shawn and Belle you can go in my plane because then you'll know if you're really in love, especially after I ask some of your relatives to tag along for no apparent reason. Tek, you're educated but too laid back and it's not enough but still there's billions of dollars involved in my operation. I can't have a hot head screwing things up for me ... SAMI, YOU'RE FIRED!" Lucas "She's not here anymore." Thump "Where did she go?" Lucas "She went to pick a fight with the window cleaners. She thought the way they were cleaning the windows showed they thought her mom was the killer." Doug's Ghost (singing) "Always!" Thump "Your next task will be something important. I haven't decided what yet but be sure to wear a really short mini-skirt. That's all for now. Impress me, people. There's billions of dollars involved ..." Lexie "Damn you all to hell!" Thump "Good leadership!" March 27, 2004 "I called this meeting because I have a sudden urge to fire somebody." Marlena "Urge ... Golly golly golly!" Thump "Marlena you got to Alice's house first but you did the wrong thing. You were supposed to get the cookie patent. What went wrong?" Marlena "Golly! Gotcha! Golly!" Thump "And Belle, I can't believe you didn't even know what a patent is." Belle "But Mr. Thump, I had good ideas but nobody listened to meeeeeee. I wanted to have Horton the tiger ..." Thump "That's enough, thank you. As you know, I have a weakness for blondes with innocent faces so you're both ok. I have to go on what happened in the past, so CODY, YOU'RE FIRED!" Patrick "Actually, Mr. Thump, I was Cody on "The Young and Restless." In Salem, I'm Patrick." Thump "Whatever." Jennifer (throwing flour across board room) "Well, if he goes, then I go too!" Thump "Whatever." Jennifer "Where should we go?" Patrick "Let's follow the yellow brick road." Marlena "Golly!" Celeste "I am getting a vibe ... Someone is going to get fired!" Thump "They just did." Celeste "Oh. Where are my tarot cards? Shawn, do you have them?" Shawn "I can't see a damn thing through these bangs ... Where is everybody?" Thump "Your next task will be to make me a million dollars while making a total fool of yourself. The competition is getting fierce so don't disappoint me ..." Alice "What you are doing is wrong." Thump "Thanks. I do have a reputation to uphold ..." March 23, 2004 "Things have been pretty slow in Salem as Marlena continued to get away with murder. Sami and Lucas, you let your guard down - not very smart. Tek, you took too long to act on a major hunch. But Jan, you continue to drink and I can't have a boozer running my company ... JAN, YOU'RE FIRED!" Jan's Response "Shorn, roboroboroboro Shorn!" Thump "What did she say?" Nicole "Who cares! Just get rid of her!" Victor's Ghost "Heeheehee! You're next, my dear! Heeheehee!" Thump "Good idea. Nicole, you're fired!" Victor's Ghost "Heeheehee!" Nicole "But I fit right into your world! I'm a tall, jiggly, intelligent, sneaky woman!" Thump "Be that as it may, my decision stands. Nicole and Jan, you're both fired!" Jan "Rorororo Shorn." Thump "Now, for the rest of you - here's your next task. You'll need to get Alice Horton's famous cookie recipe and patent it as your own. A great leadership test." Victor's Ghost "Heeheehee!" Marlena "Oh golly! Must go ... see Alice ..." Celeste "Oh no, I'm getting a vibe ... someone is going to get fired!" Thump "In this big, crazy world, that is definitely something you can count on." John "And that's a fact." Belle (scratching head) "What's a patent ...?" March 16, 2004 "Nicole and Jan, I'm not seeing any good teamwork from you two, there's still way too much bickering. Rex, you're supposed to be a genius and quite frankly it's pathetic the way you can't even figure out that a job will earn you the money you want. Mimi, you put all your eggs in one basket and it ended up a total disaster. But Bonnie, you're obnoxious and I haven't seen anything from you, you've just been riding on other people's coat tails, you have no ideas of your own. Besides, you're the least beloved woman in Salem and I promised I'd get rid of you. BONNIE, YOU'RE FIRED!" Bonnie's Response "But who will run Tuscany?!" Thump "There is no Tuscany. I bought it and have plans to build a luxurious, totally unnecessary building there with my name on every floor." John Black (raises an eyebrow) "But do you know what's behind all those doors?" Thump "No and I don't care. (pause)To all of you remaining, just thought I'd let you know I've hired John to be my right hand and help me make my future firing decisions ... He brings to the table years of experience and he's the nation's leading neutralizer ..." Tek "Can I hypnotize somebody?" Thump "Not yet. That's next week's task ... You'll all have to sell lemonade on a busy street in Chinatown while standing on your head and trying to hypnotize all the passersby ... Great corporate stuff." John Black "And that's a fact." March 10, 2004 "The men really took a beating this week. John, you had less common sense than Celeste the psychic. Doug, you went and got yourself killed. Shawn, I can hardly understand anything you say, but Brady, you let Nicole continue to dupe you and didn't even notice Jan lurking in your house, nor did you find Nicole's file on the sofa. Nice guys finish last and you gotta be mean on my corporate team. BRADY, YOU'RE FIRED!!!" Brady's Response "What the hell is going on here?!" Thump "I said you're fired." Brady "Oh. I'm gonna call Chloe ..." John Black (standing up) "Not so fast, pal!" Thump "You stood up before I told you to. That's insubordination. You're fired too. Besides, my building's bigger than yours." John Black "Nobody messes with buff John Black! I'm gonna neutralize you." Thump "What's that?" John Black "Dunno but it sure sounds good. 5,4,3,2,1 ..." Thump "Hey, I'm getting smaller and smaller! Heeeeeelp!" John Black "Ha ha! Come here doc, take a look. Honey, I shrunk the Thump! He's only 6 inches tall now!" Thump "Heeeeeelp! Ok, I promise next time I'll fire a woman - and she'll be the least beloved character in all of Salem!" John Black "You've got a deal." Brady (on cell phone) "Hello, Chloe? What the hell is going on ...?" Thump "I'm still the king of the castle." March 3, 2004 "Nicole, you broke into a safe, took a file that would have incriminated you, and then continued to scam the Salem P.D. Pretty low down dirty stuff. Brady, you put your shirt on and wondered what was going on. John, you hung around, didn't accomplish much, and admitted you might have been wrong. Bo, you didn't look at the facts, yelled in the face of a potentially very rich widow who could become a major client. You're a great cop but not corporate material ... Besides, you look better on a Harley than I do. BO, YOU'RE FIRED!!!" |
| Who Will Thump fire this week? |
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