| Over 2000 Logic BLOOPERS! |
| The DAYS OF OUR LIVES Cafe Proudly Presents ... |
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| Friday December 16, 2005 Card shark Bo got a new shirt - why, tis the Christmas season! Would the real Max please stand up! Either the race car driver or Bonnie's pal! Just a reminder - the now stunning and stylish Sami had that suntan BEFORE going to Los Angeles! Where is the town psychic Celeste, dahlings! NEXT ON DAYS Zach admits he had some of Shawn's cognac, too ... Thursday December 15, 2005 Is there a travel agency in town that offers holiday packages ? No one in Salem ever takes a getaway holiday at Christmas or New Year! There are so many great destinations like Vegas, Mexico, castle DiMera, Dimera Island ... Woof woof! Even Max has had enough of the repeated Bonnie Christmas trees fiasco! Wow, that was some "phone call," when John almost swallowed Marlena's face again! Bejeweled Bo gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! NEXT ON DAYS Shawn asks Lexie if Claire might get better from a transfusion of courvoisier because it sure made him feel better! Wednesday December 14, 2005 Wow! Never mind running High Style, how can Carrie walk in those high heels! Wonder if that's why she lost her business plan - she was unable to get back fast enough to find it! Austin calls Sami (his former fiance and former sister-in-law) his "executive assistant" as he chats with the girl who shops in Beverly Hills! Carrie and Lucas really went to the Salem park, with some tropical plants and extra lights added! NEXT ON DAYS Carrie signs up for business college ... December 13, 2005 As the champagne wishes and caviar dreams flow in L.A... Austin's investment banker contact seems more Dr. Phil than business i.e. (do you think you have the guts to fire someone, do ya think?) but then suddenly morphs into Donald Trump! Nicole's outfit is a tad conservative for her! Sami looks soooo upscale but then whines about wine! And who was that lady in the loo?! NEXT ON DAYS Austin decides to purchase Macys and also starts his own lines ... Monday December 12, 2005 Kate's pearl necklace seems to be growing larger by the day! Surely Lucas and Co. wuld have been able to find out the name of the CEO of High Style! Can't do a search, can we?! Wow! Lucas has really gone corporate professional with how he tried to get High Style from Carrie, in a matter of a week! And Sami with her elegant image looks so different, how could anyone even recognize her! That was a very French thing to do - people in the same place, talking about each other but not seeing each other, missing each other ...! Were they really in L.A. - or Paris! NEXT ON DAYS Even though he's no longer with the living, Jack refuses to part with his pinkie ring ... Friday December 9, 2005 Nicole is wearing a summer top way before she leaves wintry Salem, while upscale CEO Carrie and her assistant in L.A. are wearing winter fashions at the start of today, but then Nicole goes for winter clothes once she gets to L.A.! On a more shallow note ... where can we get those luxury gift packs and shouldn't we all be entitled! Sami says money is thin for the 3 business partners, but these gals are always wearing designer outfits and high end cosmetics regardless! Whatever happened to Salem Place? Doesn't anyone in town shop anymore?! Since when was Kate so computer savvy! Did she take a walk on the wild side and get a Dell?! Wow! That corporate, upscale scene taking place in the revamped Club Echelon was amazing, but did ya notice the extra they showed at the bar was the spitting image of Brady? NEXT ON DAYS Jennifer sees Santa ... Thanks for the smile! Thursday December 8, 2005 Aw, come on, since when does a savvy businesswoman like Carrie believe a word Sami says! She's no gullible patsy! John wisely tells Belle that doctors know about medicine - ya think?! North still looks frighteningly embalmed! Spooky stuff! And just because he now sports a leather jacket, doesn't mean he can fill the Italian leather secret agent shoes of the very buff and tough John Black! Hope is a lovely wife, lovely mom - but whatever happened to her own identity? They never even let her go skating anymore ...! Carrie's assistant really needs to cut down on her caffeine intake ... NEXT ON DAYS Austin admits he is in love with his old Britney Spears poster ... Wednesday December 7, 2006 The lad must have been extremely upset, for at the end of their phone conversation, Lucas calls Julie "Julia" ... I never knew he was in touch with Julia Roberts! Austin gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Loved Sami's necklace today! So much great jewelry viewers would want to buy, in addition to an hourglass a la Days which I have been asked about - yet most of these items are nowehere to be found! Let's hope the good folks at NBC wake up at least in time for the fans to get in some Salem Christmas shopping - before Easter! Speaking of Sami, she talks about all the research she has done for High Style, but all she's been researching is Austin's private journal! Security anyone? The door of Sami and the door of Lucas always are always open! NEXT ON DAYS Mimi prays that one day, someone will realize that Claire is really just a blanket cos the baby's on a work-to-rule campaign ... Tuesday December 6, 2005 How come Mimi has to keep wearing that thick winter scarf inside the well heated hospital?! Max looks kinda like he could be Tony's son! Cool! You read it here first! But uh ... where's Tony! Hope has such a beautiful face, one would expect artists to chase her down the street, begging to do her portrait ... Blondes in hysterics seem to be the order of the day as Belle, Jennifer, and Abbie whine and squeak up a storm (all cos the script calls for it, no less) When is Sami's sudden winter suntan going to be explained?! Huh? Carrie asks Lucas if they could pulease talk about something other than Sami - but she's the one who brought her up in the first place! NEXT ON DAYS Wardrobe gives Lucas a nice jacket that's actually his size ... Monday December 5, 2005 Musical chairs anyone? When Hope brings her kitchen chair closer to Zack, it sounds like a trumpet playing a few bars of jazz! That doesn't help cheer up the poor tyke, though, as he looks ready to get sick from that mush they make him eat throughout the entire episode ... Suggestion: Next time give the kid some fruitloops! Who was that ... oh, it's Max, just looking like someone else! Meanwhile, Shawn is very James Dean and Kate has a strange Christmas decoration on her outfit ... NEXT ON DAYS Jennifer dreams that Elvis is alive and heads to Graceland ... Friday December 2, 2005 Ugh! Just when Sami starts to get somewhat corporate and interesting, they make her very Jerry Springer today! Groan! Isn't it amazing how no one knew where Carrie was or what she was doing all this time hmmm! Close friends and family - not! Patrick, never mind the tragedy of Jack - how about the tragedy of your jaw, which is in dire need of a shave! NEXT ON DAYS Claire opens her eyes and says OPA! Memo to Letterman: That's OPA, not Oprah ... Thursday December 1, 2005 Code red! Code red! Someone has made off with Sami's hairbrush and wardrobe, which accounts for that unkempt appearance all of a sudden! Viewers are asked to write NBC and donate to the "Get Sami a New Hairbrush Fund." Tax deductible receipts available. Meanwhile, an investigation into the missing wardrobe is pending as Dick Van Patten accuses her of stealing his sweater ... Stay tuuned! And Marlena thinks she has bad amnesia! Julie showed up on the Young and Restless today thinking she was someone else! No one wants to see a sad sick baby storyline developing for Christmas. Not exactly good cheer, like Jack's possible drowning followed by Jennifer's grief scenario ... So who's the grinch that came up with this stuff huh! NEXT ON DAYS Nicole writes a proposal for the Bickering Dingbats account - and gets it! Wednesday November 30, 2005 Shawn gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT as sweatshirt Phil continues to try and convince us he's just a regular unshaven Joe (worth how many multi-millions of that Kiriakis/Onasis empire huh!) Cripes! Every time Bo gets a macho scene, girlie man Patrick comes to his rescue??? I think NOT! Meanwhile, mid-scene on the pier Billie's hair goes from being bushy to being not so bushy! NEXT ON DAYS Kate morphs into a Christmas tree ... Tuesday November 29, 2005 Do Sami/Nicole/Austin really need to start every scene by rehashing what happened in the last one? Talk about overextending yourself! And the loooong stormy night continues! Victor would not lower himself to speak to Nicole, much less let her stick around as he talks biz with Lucas! Out of character alert! Well, it's very nice but where da heck did that big city skyline come from! NEXT ON DAYS It is announced that Salem is not a small town but the capital of the U.S... Monday November 28, 2005 Romeo Romeo, where art thou Romeo .... Shawn continues his SHIRTLESS ALERT! He really is like a Romeo so from hereon in (whatever that means), he will be referred to as Romeo Shawn ... John must be all shook up with them there Elvis sideburns as he drinks that empty cup of coffee! He's still more energetic than North the horsewhisperer! Nooooooooo! Another looooong day/night as they refer to "Thanksgiving," which means it will be Thanksgiving until Christmas! Aw come on now - have Baywatch Frankie don his swimsuit and save Jack already! NEXT ON DAYS The writers admit they all thought "hypothermia" was just the name of a rock band ... Friday November 25, 2005 Not just a memory lane fest in Salem today - it's also a veritable SHIRTLESS ALERT fest as Shawn, Lucas, and the still buff Bo show up a la shirtless!! Gee, Jennifer and I have something in common - neither of us wear those fashionable, low waisted hip hugging pants very well ... Wouldn't it be nice if someone in wardrobe took that into account huh! I mean, for her, not me because I don't know anyone in wardrobe. Yikes! Kenny and Jimmy are now taking over the internet as well! That could be a good thing since maybe if they keep busy, they'll stop spamming me ! Just joshing! Speaking of josh ..., would the real Josh Taylor please stand up! Check out yesterday's blooper cos I am still scratching my head about that one ... Awww, some of you folks send me the nicest emails! And it's a logic blooper cos it's making my DaysCafe head bigger than some of those huuuuuuge hair flashbacks! NEXT ON DAYS Viewers are treated to an episode which fast forwards to 40 years from now - and Lucas and Sami are still bickering! Thursday November 24, 2005 The show ain't even on today but the DCLBB (Days Cafe Logic Blooper Bloodhound) sniffed out this doozie ... A picture is worth a thousand words - but what if the caption is a dud! Over at celebrityphoto.com, at the time this is being written - 1 a.m. -, there are a few lovely photos of James Reynolds (Abe Carver) attending the Days 40th anniversary, only beneath the photos he is referred to as Josh Taylor! (Roman Brady) Even stranger is that the real Josh Taylor has a photo next to James and he too is called Josh Taylor. What da hell ...?! You read it here first! Wednesday November 23, 2005 John's wrenched back freaky SHIRTLESS ALERT continues! And since when does he call women "baby," like some Tom Jones of soaps! Gadzooks! Belle's Tickle Me Elmo doll is sick! Huh? All Alex does is offer to drive doc and she sighs "You're so good to me"??? Shawn would surely have not felt like lighting lots of candles in a romantic mood as- they would have reminded him of his imprisoned hell with Jan that went on and on and on ...! But then the lines call for Mimi to call a phone caller persistent - after the phone rings all of TWICE! However, having Gandma Alice as an expert at IM who taught Shawn how to IM totally rocks! Now if only we could actually see Alice Im'ing up a storm! NEXT ON DAYS Kenny Corday urges mororists to avoid the black ice caused by the studio monsoon ... Tuesday November 22, 2005 John gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! And what da hell is dat massage scene with Kade?! How exciting to have yet another petty misunderstanding - not! Meanwhile, Phil's hair has taken on an identity of its own, a la Butt-head (as of Beavis and Butt-head fame) Yikes! And the lightning and snow and rain and ice and thunder continue to swirl round Salem as John and Marlena have simultaneous convulsions! Why, you ask? Because Marlena has had to wear the same sweater for days and days and days! Alex North is a very slow witted man - and I have the do-cu-ments-to-prove-it. NEXT ON DAYS North gives Marlena a bracelet and she pukes ... Monday November 21, 2005 Is it Halloween in Salem or what! Lucas gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! That's not Will - it's a Bobby Brady clone! Thunderstorm ice storm hurricane blizzard tornado - heck it's all the same in Salem huh! Rain and a thunderstorm sound effects as the cotton snow piles up heeheehee! Does no one in Hollywood know what da hell snow and ice are! Sophie gets a TART ALERT! Is that why it sounds like Sami refers to her as a SH*T???! Yippeee! A variety of songs, no more "Ahahahahahahah walk the streets of love ahahahahahahahah" NEXT ON DAYS Austin admits he came back to town for Alice and her donuts ... Friday November 18, 2005 What is Kate doing lurking in the Blacks' penthouse and, once again, why does John not get a second and third opinion on Doc's zombie like state, to prove North should be outta the picture! Somebody needs to tell North that her name ain't Mar-lay-naaa! That thunder outside is supposed to warn that there will be an ICE storm! Meanwhile Shawn gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! NEXT ON DAYS Jack gets mega-hyper from an overdose of sweet tart candies and does a flying side kick into the camera, shutting down production for a week so yesterday's episode ends up getting replayed all next week ... Thursday November 17, 2005 He mutters he whispers and he does it so slowly, one starts to wonder if Alex might be a holagram - on the wrong speed! Lately the background music is so foreground, one can hardly hear the characters speak! If it were cold enough for Sami to have that thick wintercoat, she would not be wearing light sandals like that to go with it! And her and Nicole's yelling HURTS THE EARS! From one extreme to the other! North the horse whisperer followed by the two yellers geesh! Tony must have kidnapped Abby cos she is nowhere to be seen! NEXT ON DAYS North claims he was the original Maxwell Smart (Get Smart tv show) until he went missing on the studio lot ... Wednesday November 16, 2005 Open your eyes, Marlena! Remember shmemember! John is the buffest toughest dude in town! Why is it that just when Kate decides she still has feelings for John, they give her blonde highlights! Wow! Sophie the waitress sure always manages to have a nice, expensive dress! Must be loads of tips she doesn't even have to share huh! Razor anyone? Now that Phil's leg is working okay, how about that much needed shave! Why was Nicole wearing a black blanket inside Chez Rouge???! NEXT ON DAYS John exposes Alex North as a big wayward wind up doll from the old Star Trek set ... Tuesday November 15, 2005 Oh oh! If in the long run he ain't the real Roman, I know lots of folks who are gona be maaaaad! (re: the drab whispering persona of Alex North) On a shallow note - John and Marlena belong together because they are both looking soooo FAB! Meanwhile, Kate goes for an Annie Get Your Gun look ... Well I'll be darned! Sami is good corporate! She has been wasted all this time! But why didn't Billie or Lucas bring up her illegal activities to the Great Schnitzel - seems like Marlena isn't the only Salemite suffering from memory loss! NEXT ON DAYS John and Marlena break into the song "You're the One that I Want" from GREASE ... Sami's company shares overtake Martha Stewart's and Donald Trump's ... Monday November 14, 2005 Lulu and Schnitzel! But does THIS Days Lulu really hold all of the Schnitzel secrets - or are the viewers being led astray by one who is unaware of the true and significant history of Schnitzel the Great? Stay tuned! Meanwhile, Billie keeps talking like a drunk! Just cos she's down on her luck, doesn't mean Nicole can't have clean and nice hair! Looks like they're spending two hours a day on doing Sami's hair, while Nicole is reduced to less than no time spent on her hair! How about a brush or at least a shampoo anyone ...? Speaking of Sami, why is she still dressed for Halloween?! Three men after Marlena the blonde and no one wants Kate the brunette ... Brunettes have admirers too! And Kate is so gorgeous - come on now! NEXT ON DAYS Alex speeds up his speaking and the show is reduced to a half hour ... It is revealed by Lulu that Schnitzel is the most powerful and important person in the world! Friday November 11, 2005 Interesting to hear that Roman still has feelings for "Duck"! Jack is such a fab and likable guy - make him better pronto and give him a real storyline! Ouch! Poor Sami had to wear those big bronze frisbees on her ears that masqueraded as earrings! In Sami's fantasy, Lucas states "I was a fool to ever let you go ..." A line from an old Barry Manilow song! Har har! NEXT ON DAYS In addition to the Schnitzel account, Austin tries to land the Hamburger account, the pizza account, and the twinkies account ... Thursday November 10, 2005 Nicole talks about getting ready for the "pish session"! Mimi is a cute girl but puleeease remove that black goth nailpolish from those fingernails! Oh come on! Blackmailing bimbos fighting over a bachelor and rehashing their past misdeeds is toooo petty for words - so I won't add any! What is up with Phil's suddenly blue collar image, considering he was born with at least three silver spoons in his mouth! NEXT ON DAYS Belle dreams that her storyline is a dream and Sami has a flashback of a flashback ... Wednesday November 9, 2005 Alex's periodic limp has yet to be explained ... Belle mangling the doll was downright scary! What the heck are they doing to this character! Are we looking at the next serial killer???! Meanwhile, still no baby Claire sighting! However, Kenny Corday continues to make the occasional squeal behind the scenes, when baby Claire is supposed to cry! I say this because I know what a good sport you are, Kenny! Can Shawn please get a new t-shirt! First Bo, now his son! NEXT ON DAYS Jack goes shopping on Amazon.com and makes Lexie promise not to tell Jennifer he peeked at her Gold Box ... Tuesday November 8, 2005 "Why don't you be honest with me" sayeth Kate, when she should say "Why won't you be - or why aren't you - honest with me." Grammar 101! Dr. North continues to say his cliches - today's wisdom = "Life is an open book ..." So let's all go to Amazon.com and look for some interesting bad guys! Maybe if we're real lucky, Tony will show up huh! What is up with everyone's Halloween nailpolish! Meanwhile, Days' version of the Virgin Mary states the Nike slogan "Just do it"?????! to Mimi. Come on now! NEXT ON DAYS Days producers take to the waves and announce their belief that Jesus is a SHIMI (Shawn and Mimi) fan ... Monday November 7, 2005 It's the endless flashbacks that make Belle feel lousy - and they make the poor viewers feel lousy too! Like mother like daughter ... Both Marlena and Belle now socialize in their bathrobes! Tasteless of the show to broadcast the word b*tch and then cut to a church scene. For shame! What would Father Antonio say - oh, I forgot, he no longer exists in this fast paced world of Dr. North's trinkets, repeated lines, and drab turtlenecks ... NEXT ON DAYS Sami admits her real reason for disappearing in the bushes was to take a leak ... Friday November 4, 2005 Shawn gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Kate is still in her fortune teller get up but Halloween is over! Bubble bubble toil and trouble! Huh? Jack thinks his suicide will make Jennifer happy??? Is he losing brain cells, too or what! Meanwhile, North continues to look embalmed and Peeping Tom John goes high tech, ready to look through everyone's clothes with his big new ISA toy! NEXT ON DAYS John does some digging and discovers that Dr. Demento North was expelled from Hogwarts ... Thursday November 3, 2005 Who does Lucas have to repeat what Sami did - a lengthy recap! Not an interesting way to start a show! And then Will walks in, straight off the set of the Brady Bunch ... only to be followed by Nicole's lengthy flashback as the elevator music plays in the background! Blah boring blah! Let's pick up the pace, Kenny! Come on now! Even as a father, a streetsmart cop like Bo Brady would not be such a sucker! It continues to amaze how the supposedly ill Jack has so much energy ... Well if Hope is so fixated on degrees - maybe she should get one! What is up with this all the ladies are after Austin stuff which is done like an episode of the Bachelor! NEXT ON DAYS Bo gets a decent shirt ... Wednesday November 2, 2005 Austin, who always seems to be stepping out of the shower, once more gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT ... Told ya Claire was really a doll! Well if Sami's Stan fiasco is so famous, then why isn't the media hounding her! And why does she have to scream like a psycho and hurt viewers' ears - ouch! My earplugs, please! NEXT ON DAYS Will slams the back door, only to discover that it is really a secret entrance to Austin's new company and Donald Trump's old one ... Tuesday November 1, 2005 A-a-a-a-a-a-a-walk-the-streets-of-love ... Ahhhhhhhhhhh! (mega-scream) Aw, blow it out your ear, North! Wouldn't it be nice if they let Belle give a damn about her baby! She is starting to get too creepy. Well, maybe it's cos there is no baby anyhow! Marlena is starting to act very 1940s movie star - John Black fits into that picture but Forrest Gump North sure does not! NEXT ON DAYS In addition to the empty blanket, Shawn and Mimi offer to babysit Philip's boxer shorts ... Monday October 31, 2005 Tarzan Shawn gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT and the poor dude's Tarzan rug was covering half his face by the end! Hope would never have said Mimi is not a good influence on Shawn because 1) Mimi is getting her degree, unlike Shawn - and Hope!! 2) The character of Hope has never been elitist! Tsk tsk! Dr. North hopping around Alice's whilst talking to himself reminded me of Rainman! Never mind doc - this guy needs some serious help! NEXT ON DAYS Marlena remembers she has heard that new Rolling Stones song every day for the past week now ... Friday October 28, 2005 Perhaps Sami is supposed to be a fortune teller in that get-up, with Nicole as her palm reading sidekick? Come on now! Greek tycoon Vic would not be worried about that ditsy tag team of Sami and Nicole! Jack is looking healthier than anyone on the show! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. Demento North gets a restraining order - against himself ... Thursday October 27, 2005 No way could Marlena forget for one second about that good lookin John Black! However, was it wise for him to admit to a lawyer that he's become a peeping Tom?! Dr. Demento North is putting not only Marlena but also the zzz viewers zzz to zzz sleeep .. 3-2-1! NEXT ON DAYS The Fonz gets a job at Max's shop and starts calling Max Potsy ... (reference to "Happy Days") Wednesday October 26, 2005 Why do so many men need a shave on this show? Beards and mustaches a la Bo Brady or Victor Kiriakis are cool - a little dorky fuzz is not! No shirtless alerts today but it is undershirt day for Max and Shawn, who will soon be working together! Meanwhile, Frankie is sounding more and more like a wiseguy ... Cosmetics or ISA? Just what the heck is Billie's identity anyway! NEXT ON DAYS Bo gets the coolest dad of the year award ... Tuesday October 25, 2005 That's right Billie, dramatic acting means YELLING - NOT! Yes yes we know Jack at this time is supposed to be "dying" so what is the point of him repeating it repeating it! A complete beard or mustache would be fine but not Lucas with peach fuzz too! Ahhhhh! Abby is great looking but now they are writing that Chelsea the chin is "beautiful"??????? Come on now! So what's Sami qualified to do in Austin's "Three's Company" business world, other than clean the bathroom! And Nicole's flat hairdo looks too greasy for corporate words ... NEXT ON DAYS Mr. Clean finds out he will be working with Sami and quits on the spot ... Monday October 24, 2005 Lucas gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT And what is up with all these skimpy SUMMER dresses all of a sudden! How many times are they gonna play the same few bars of that Stones song already! Sami is back to calling Austin AWSIN. Ahhhhhhhhh! Speaking of Austin, if he was so successful in the Big Apple, how come he has to start his new company from Sami's lower end apartment! And what about zoning laws that prohibit apartments from doubling as office space - they didn't even think to look into that. Not so corporate after all! Trump says he is in a hurry as he sloooowly walks by, hangs aroud, looking for - the teleprompter, which he thankfully finally finds, thus enabling him to spout off to Uncle Mickey! Yikes! What did poor Frankie do to deserve that uncomplimentary un-lawyerlike head shave!! NEXT ON DAYS Nicole propositions Uncle Mickey ... Sami starts a company from her bathroom sink ... Friday October 21, 2005 Bo and Lucas get a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Aww, this Chelsea doesn't like her biological mother tale of woe is so old and overdone in soaps - let's be fresh, people! Does Austin not have old friends, relatives and contacts he would like to see in lieu of being cooped up chez Sami - whom he could not stand?! Talk about re-writing the recent past or what! One good thing sbout toDAY was that we did not have to sit thru Dr. Demento in his pijamas, waving that trinket around ... yippeee! NEXT ON DAYS Mick Jagger admits he is a die-hard Bo and Hope fan and Keith Richards vows to name his next child "Fancy Face" ... Sophie offers to bear Keith Richards' love child ... Thursday October 20, 2005 See Dr. Demento give Marlena brandy while in his pijamas ... See John set out to kidnap his wife ... See Marlena have to play a victim once more ... See the viewers groan and yawn in unison! John + Marlena = fab couple who deserve a better storyline! Patrick is old enough to have collected a few albums so why does he point out they're his mom's! Meanwhile, the supposedly dying Jack looks healthier than ever! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. Demento North erases himself from everyone's existence ... Wednesday October 19, 2005 If John et al are so convinced Dr. Demento North is brainwashing Marlena, why not simply appoint a second shrink for a second opinion - or have the now catatonic Marlena declared incompetent so they can make decisions for her, thereby getting rid of Demento - I mean North! In addition, he and his trinket are very tiresome ... Sami really needs to be sedated ... Lucas gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! NEXT ON DAYS Sami attacks the door for not closing nicely enough behind her mawm her daaad ... Tuesday October 18, 2005 Dr. Demento - aka North - sure seems more interested in talking to the wall, the camera than looking at Marlena when he first sneaks into her bedroom! I said it bafore, I'll say it again - with these actors, stuff is different - Phil and Belle are good together and Shawn and Mimi are simply DYNAMITE! A five star soap supercouple all the way! Question is - are they paying attention over at Corday Productions? Don't lose this Shawn/Mimi gem, Kenny! Har har! With that shot of Nicole playing pool, the camera angle makes it look like Nicole is trying to ram the pool cue right into Sami's rump! Moments later, Nicole calls Sami an inflatable clown - hilarious! Maybe she was trying to burst her with the pool cue! Shortly afterwards, Sami huffs and puffs outta there, gasping "My mawm, my dad!" Oh no! Dr. Demento has kidnapped her mawm ... NEXT ON DAYS Phil rocks his slinky to sleep ... Monday October 17, 2005 T'would seem Roman has had one too many, as he calls Lucas LOCUST ... Now ya see it, now ya don't? Last time we saw Belle, she'd just lost her footing on her way down the fire escape, but now all of a sudden, we have a different shot of her footing being okay! Sophie is a cute girl - but she sure needs to brush up on those acting skills ... Never mind Dr. North and the danger he poses - that elevator music at Chez Rouge is a danger to the viewers' sanity, not to mention that same redundant, loud tune at Alice's Bar! Ahhhhhh!! Puleeease stop making Belle a whiner! The fab actress deserves better! NEXT ON DAYS Phil decides to burp his tonka, in addition to Belle's doll ... Friday October 14, 2005 Oh no! First Kate drugs Sami and Brandon, now Dr. Demento is drugging Marlena! Zzzz! Sami really still needs to pay the piper already! Dr-North's-slow-man-ner-of-speaki-ing-e-quals-snooze-fest ... NEXT ON DAYS Austin forgives Tonya Harding for all her past mistakes too ... Thursday October 13, 2005 Did Kate give Chelsea her whole wardrobe, jewelry, etc? Is that why she always seems to be wearing the same thing, day in, day out - and why doesn't the executive gal ever have a briefcase anymore? Huh? What did they say? The background music at Alice's Bar was so LOUD, it was at times hard to hear what folks were saying ... That was quite the potshot smiling Sophie delivered to Lucas - that it was good his brother didn't accept Vic's job offer so he got it - and she is supposed to like Lucas?! Meow! Hiss! Brrr! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. North dances with the window cleaners on John Black's balcony so John takes photos for the National Enquirer ... Wednesday October 12, 2005 Josh tells Abby she deserves a kiss. How unromantic! Should he not try to woo her instead of acting like she is the lucky one?! Max really needs to lose the peach fuzz (did Brady give him pointers before departing, perhaps?) It would be nice if Sami could talk normally instead of hyperventilating and spitting it out as fast and loudly as possible ... but I guess it would be too much to ask. Sophie was awfully eager ... (i.e. what you got to smile about, toots?) NEXT ON DAYS Victor shows up at the Grand Ol' Opry and performs the latest Willie Nelson tune cos that's about as likely as him hanging out at Bonnie's hodown, ain't it ...! Tuesday October 11, 2005 These 1970s love triangles are sooo tedious! Meanwhile,no one seems to have really seen baby Kiriakis beneath that blanket - this is getting creepier by the day! And somebody needs to tell Kenny Corday to stop making those baby noises and squeals in the background! How tragic that John has been reduced to a peeping tom - and he is peeping at his own wife in his own home! Shucks! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. North claims he is one of the lost Avengers ... Monday October 10, 2005 Cool, savvy ISA John would be able to defeat Dr. North (aka Mr. I-Must-talk-slow-ly) in a heartbeat in this battle of wits! Come on now! The Mimi and Caroline scene was cute but what was the point of Bonnie and her strange stuff? And who the heck is the beauty salon broad? Shoulda been Mimi's business! Memo to Brass: Lots of twenty somethings nowadays have a business, so kindly get with the program! Next thing ya know, a mysterious bottle with the word ANECDOTE FOR JACK written on it will be left on the Deveraux doorstep! Hmmm. Perhaps we can also find the writers an anecdote for the lack of detailed, logical scenarios they are evidently suffering from ... NEXT ON DAYS The FCC sues Bonnie for stating "butt" too many times on what is supposed to be an upscale show ... Friday October 7, 2005 What the heck is Kate doing and why is she allowed in Roman's office as Sami is told her options - incorrectly - by her very unlawenforcementlike papa and Uncle Mickey the undertaker ...?! What comic book is this?! Sami's gasping and ranting is enough already! That having been said, a big THANKYOU to the writer who made them end it all quickly, without making the long suffering viewers sit thru a Sami (Tonya) Harding trial and prison term .. zzz So much unhappiness at every turn in Salem. Misery loves company? Not if you look at the ratings! NEXT ON DAYS Austin represents Al Gore, to re-count those ballots - and gets the outcome reversed! Thursday October 6, 2005 John sure looks great with that shaggy hair but in the last 48hrs, his hair has grown more than 2 inches! Meanwhile, the very powdered, very tidy Dr. North looks embalmed ... So now the Salem P.D. handles charges of treason?! Not likely! NEXT ON DAYS Kate calls a press conference and announces that Sami must go to Guantanamo for enticing her sons ... Wednesday October 5, 2005 Perhaps Roman should have joined Marlena at the hair salon, to have something done about his suddenly porcupine do! Speaking of Marlena, by golly, she and John sitting in that car together were just like Olivia Newton John and John Travolta in "Grease"! Austin gets another SHIRTLESS ALERT If Roman were truly fed up with Kate, then why did he spend all the time talking to her huh! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. North announces he invented the Internet, Sony playstations, and Donald Trump's hairdo ... Tuesday October 4, 2005 Yowza! Shawn and Mimi are too ADORABLE! What are the Shawn and Belle fans gonna do ...? Poor Belle, meanwhile, has to keep holding that empty blankie - which gets smaller by the day - and pretend it's her baby! One is reminded of the pretend baby of wacko Susan from years back! Is this going to turn out to be a dream sequence, hence no baby? If-Dr-North-Does-nt-speed-up-how-he-talks-I-shall-scream! NEXT ON DAYS Linus asks Belle for his blanket back ... Monday October 3, 2005 Buff Bomeister gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Huh? Mid-scene Max's hairdo is so different, it looks like Chelsea is sitting with another guy all of a sudden! But it's a welcome blooper cuz his hairdo is way better! They finally got it right! Yikes! The old Club Echelon set has been revived - as the Craze! Let's just hope those scary ol' transvestite waitresses(waiters?) from Echelon didn't come with the building! NEXT ON DAYS Billie starts the Salem chapter of "White Girls Can't Dance" ... Friday September 30, 2005 Hope is one gorgeous gal - but it is time for a haircut or a new do! If Nicole is a drunk, why does she sometimes act so sober and other times slur! That having been said ... she sure has great chemistry with that suave Austin! No Tony and DAYS is starting to seem like a pizza without the pepperoni ... No zing! NEXT ON DAYS Bo gives Billie a few bucks so she can get a tutor to help her improve that sagging IQ ... And that's a fact! Thursday September 29, 2005 Bo gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Chelsea worries about having ho genes but then runs outta the house dressed like one??? In this corner of the loo - Sami, aka Tonya Harding!! In this corner - Kate! In the remaining two corners - sleeping viewers who are tired of this same old same old! Never mind Shawn and Mimi, Kate herself needs a good date! Tony and a tango and then she'd be all set! Austin is a logical fella so it's not likely he would suggest he and Sami go out to the place where her reception was supposed to be held, is it! NEXT ON DAYS Billie insists she is a hooker turned law enforcement officer with a lot to offer ... Wednesday September 28, 2005 The transformation is complete - Sami has now morphed into Tonya Harding! And since when did the great Tonya garner ratings, hmmm??? Whatever possessed Phil to hang out at the hospital in his undershirt! And how about that non-baby - thus far we have seen a blanket and air! Austin gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! NEXT ON DAYS Austin renames himself Deepak Chopra ... Tuesday September 27, 2005 No water anywhere or real medical attention after the baby is born and all we saw was a blanket - was it a ghost baby or someone's dream??? That Maggie and Bonnie almost brawl was almost a reason to tune out! Wow! Dr. North waves a keychain from a distance and Marlena goes into a trance! Amazing! NEXT ON DAYS Sami admits she is Stefano ... Monday September 26, 2005 Stop the insanity! Sami blubbering like a 5 year old with a hissy fit is just plain bizarre, considering she has a teenage son! Two years ago, viewers were happy that her character was made mature - and now this! By the by, they are alluding to the fact that maybe Sami will be forgiven, as Kate started the whole thing ... Ahhh! This is the storyline that never ends! It just goes on and on and on ...! How come even Chelsea's smile looks like a frown? Phil is a marine who lost his leg so if it's not his baby and Belle leaves him, that is yet another insult to the folks in service. Geesh! Good grief! A short time without the Count and we are reduced to bowling alleys?! Meanwhile, Billie has become a complusive jiggler who is only willing to communicate via the phone ... Looks like she has a new profession awaiting with a 1-800 number! NEXT ON DAYS Patrick takes Chelsea to the bingo hall and buys her a popsicle ... Friday September 23, 2005 Exciting episode made at times annoying with Sami's blubbering and hyperventilating and whining ... How come the over 30s career gals keep showing all that cleavage all of a sudden??? I still maintain Jack cannot be dying with those great hair days! Jennifer's hair is glorious of late, too! Phil says Belle looks pale - but she doesn't! NEXT ON DAYS Will morphs into Chuckie ... Thursday September 22, 2005 Why is Doc North acting like a creepy undertaker from a 1970s late night movie?! Max is a good looking young buck but he is in dire need - of a major makeover! Pulease, kill the bangs already! Like mother like daughter ... Both Billie and Chelsea keep making strange faces ... Stan was not Kate's height or body type! And is this guy short changed or what! Dan Wells (Stan) is a great actor - bring him on board as someone real, I say! We have some major upstaging going on as Mimi cuts the very picture of a stunning bride - only she's not the one standing at the altar! NEXT ON DAYS Shawn's zipper gets stick, too ... Wednesday September 21, 2005 Oh come on! Enough of Dr. North controlling the lives of the smart women of Salem! It's the new millenium, guys! Women are NOT victims! Code red terror alert must refer to the way the writers have been terrorizing viewers with some of these storylines! Alert! Alert! Next time they want to put a fantasy scene on, why not replace it with something a tad more interesting - like an infomercial! Are Shawn and Mimi supposed to be cuter together than Shawn and Belle cos they sure are! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. North hypnotizes himself and remembers he is Roman ... Tuesday September 20, 2005 Something old - the Sami almost wedding storyline ... Something new - Will being a teenager for another Sami almost wedding ... Something borrowed - Sami's almost wedding storyline from Franco and Austin and Brandon ... Something blue - the viewers that have to go thru it all over again! Ahhh! NEXT ON DAYS John applies for a job at British Airways, convinced that if he looks as much a pilot as Dr. North, he will stand a chance at winning Marlena back ... Sami marries Geraldo Rivera ... Monday September 19, 2005 It was a DAY of transportation as ... Billie, with that hat, morphs into a Parisian taxi driver ... On his way out with his dark suit and suitcase, Dr. North is the spitting image of a TWA pilot! Chelsea's first outfit was straight from outer space! (though one must admit, she wore it well) NEXT ON DAYS Kate gives Chelsea a black bra to wear to her first job and says that's all she'll ever need ... Friday September 16, 2005 NBC's "Next on Days" is giving way too much away - i.e. why bother watching the episode once you've seen the main lines! (most of which are false cliffhangers anyway) Brady and Lucas get a SHIRTLESS ALERT and by the way, Lucas' undies were also seen sticking out of his pants today! Huh? Dr. North now a cat burglar? Come on now! Ya know, we were all promised a great Bo and Hope adventure but I sure as heck still haven't seen one yet! NEXT ON DAYS Sami's Stan photo winds up on E-Bay ... Thursday September 15, 2005 Sami bobs up and down so much even her earrings look dizzy! Oh lordy, Bonnie has now morphed into Mae West! Why was Roman confiding police investigation details to Lucas and Sami??? Has someone hit this guy on the head a couple of times or what? Even Keystone's finest would be aghast! Poor Max deserves a nice girl - and a good hairstyle! NEXT ON DAYS Chloe is discovered to be a smiling holagram of herself ... Marlena remembers horse poop ... Wednesday September 14, 2005 It was very hard to "enjoy" Chloe and Brady's wedding because 1) The actor who plays Brady has been let go 2) Everyone keeps collapsing! And why did they cut Nancy and my hunky Dr. Craig out! Boo! Bring 'em back! Billie keeps talking like she's had one too many ... Gee, perhaps Mimi ought to be renamed Meanmean! Nothing like bullying a pregnant woman! One of my eyes closed during today's episode - a common symptom of TDWS! (Tony DiMera Withdrawal Syndrome) NEXT ON DAYS Marlena remembers she didn't remember being the serial killer because it was a fake memory so Dr. North tells her she will remember soon and John dances with her, to help her remember what she almost remembered about those memories ... Tuesday September 13, 2005 Nico would be even cooler working for Tony! That having been said, he looked more attracted to Nicole than anything else! Sizzle sizzle! Will it go round in circles? Of course it will because it is an endless pointless conversation between Dr. North and John about - you guessed it! Will doc remember???? Why does Sami keep laughing loudly like a wacko? And what is up with this Chelsea making that strange face and Patrick with his greasy hair talking to her about everyone's fav topic - Billie! Zzzzzzzzz! Meanwhile, we have folks collapsing all over the place at this so-called big wedding celebration! NEXT ON DAYS Jack and Jimmy Reilly and Kenny Corday engage in a footfight under the table ... Chloe's bra pops ... Monday September 12, 2005 Dr. North is-just-talking-too-slowly-and-clearly-and-we-are-not-dumb-so-we-can-un-der-stand-him, o-kay?! Well, Belle's dress was kinda obnoxious (Miss Subliminal says "tasteless!") for a pregnant gal ... The logic blooper of the year is that hunky Dr. Craig with his bedside manner is no longer the hospital chief of staff! Darn it all, I used to love his and Nancy's romantic scenes! What a teaser! That was quite the tipsy little jig Brady and Chloe did after their nuptials ... hiccup! Chelsea/New Billie/Patrick ... Who the heck are these people and why are they on "Days of Our Lives"??? Are they lost??? NEXT ON DAYS John sues Bonnie for stealing his trademark line - and that's a fact! Friday September 9, 2005 Here comes the bride ... or is it? Chloe looked more like a lampshade coming down - or is that up - the aisle! Dr. North is redundant redundant! concerned concerned! Blah blah! So the Keystone Cops cannot even hit Tony when they fire a couple of hundred rounds at close range! Don't quit your day job, fellas! Ewww ... Sami says "Damn it" in the church and then says a prayer - for herself! NEXT ON DAYS Billie and Patrick get engaged because they have a casual non-relationship and then make out at all churches in town, much to the dismay of Pastor Bo ... Thursday September 8, 2005 Mega-Keystone of Roman to have a pic of his daughter Stanmi with a mustache on his desk and not recognize her! Brady gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT Bride-to-be Chloe, meanwhile, sleeps with false eyelashes! Will looked downright spooky in that suit! NEXT ON DAYS A new dance is invented in Salem - and it's called the Mimi Mope! It consists of walking into your friend's apartment uninvited and scowling ... Wednesday September 7, 2005 It would have been way more interesting to see Bart interacting with Bonnie instead of the endlessly childish Sami ... Lexie and occasionally Dr. Bader are all Salem has for medical services - all the more reason to keep my hunky Dr. Craig in town, people! The doctor needs to be in - all the time!!!! Belle was sniffling awfully loudly today (or did they just stick the microphone too close?) Meanwhile, Chloe looked ready to belt out a tune from Madam Butterfly in that get up! NEXT ON DAYS Sami moons Will's friends and flashes the mailman - on the same day ...! Tuesday September 6, 2005 Bart's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues - much to Bonnie's delight! Just goes to show ya, in this big ol' crazy world, there is someone out there for everyone! When is Sami going to stop acting like a Chatty Cathy doll gone psycho??? Aw, come on, Dr. North, making out with the patient in your mountain cabin sure doesn't sound like treatment! NEXT ON DAYS When Roman runs by in a hurry, Sami is convinced it means that Stefano is alive ... Monday September 5, 2005 Stop the presses! Bartholomew gets his first ever SHIRTLESS ALERT! John and Roman, meanwhile, look like cat burglars ... And how about that ISA Billie, who doesn't even recognize dancing Bart, Tony's right hand! Don't quit your day job, toots! NEXT ON DAYS Dr. North hypnotizes Tommy Lee, who remembers once reading a book ... Friday September 2, 2005 How long is Billie gonna wear that same top that looks kinda like lingerie and why was Lexie wearing a lingerie top with her doc's coat?! Jack can't be dying - he is having the nicest hair days of late! Come on now! It is painful enough to hear Sami ranting about making people PAY but now Chelsea mutters someone will have to PAY! Hand me my earplugs, pulease! NEXT ON DAYS Tek admits he used to date Dr. Ruth ... Dr. Ruth claims she thought he was really Tom Jones ... Thursday September 1, 2005 Mad Max - who is turning out to be likable - and Patrick - who is not likable and still needs a shave - get a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Keystone Cop award of the year goes to Detective Adams for letting Sami into Roman's office and cop computer! Keep in mind Adams was also the last name of the actor who played Maxwell Smart ... Hmmm! Sami's wardrobe clashes so badly today, it hurts one's eyes. Not one to be outdone in extremes, Kate then shows up in a Gestapo jacket. Jennifer, however, is back to receiving visitors in that ratty ol' bathrobe that needs to be thrown out by the Extreme Makeovers folks! NEXT ON DAYS Max admits he is a eunech ... Wednesday August 31, 2005 Slooooow day in Salem, with a lot of repeated repeated dialogue ... I have a solution to the Chelsea problem - send her to a boarding school in Switzerland to learn some manners, and feed her a good meal on the plane cos by jingo, the poor thing surely needs one! And why was her would-be beau Mad Max, of the beatnik bangs and toothy grin fame, taking her to a motel when he is supposed to be a wealthy race car driver!!!! Kate vs. Sami zzzzzz Kate vs. Sami zzzzz no Tony today zzzzzz where is my remote NEXT ON DAYS The viewers hire Uncle Mickey, to sue the people who keep repeating the Kate/Sami feud, which is rumored to be as old as Tommy Lee's hairdo ... Tuesday August 30, 2005 So Kate cannot figure out Sami as a guy was Stan - and Sami is worried about those incriminating photos - so she holds them up and burns them in a public place?! How much more of these dizzy dames do we have to take???! Shawn was real cute as a bartender but would-be gal pal Belle was not exactly dressed like a pregnant young lady (Lolita!) Father Bart was great but it was painfully unbelievable when the writers made him compliment Sami on her talents ... NEXT ON DAYS Sami crashes a Walmart sale and Bart tells her the DiMeras really need her savvy ... Monday August 29, 2005 Newsflash to Billie and Bo - Chelsea is 18 YEARS old now, not 18 months! Here's the story ... of a man named Brady ... That's right, folks, Will has returned and he is now a Bobby Brady clone! (from the Brady Bunch tv show) Let Sami and Kate hiss themselves into oblivion, I say, but give the major villainess stuff to Nicole! She has got the whole package - the arrogance, the sharp tongue, the motive, the energy, the humor - give her her own true villainess storyline at long last, now that she is free at last of the boring chains of matrimony and romance! Kate cannot figure out Sami was Stan after Nicole tells her Sami was disguised as a guy?! Doh! Don't quit your day job, doll! Patrick needs to get a life already! (maybe in Harmony???) NEXT ON DAYS Chelsea accuses a jellyfish of making a pass at her ... Friday August 26, 2005 Oh sure, let's all play dress up in the closet when we get locked in because that is what people do when they are locked in places, huh! Gee, Caroline seems to be popping up everywhere, kinda like Zelig! Mad Max gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT but pulease stop giving him that laughing gas! Grin grin grin! Sami giving Belle relationship advice was worth maybe 30 seconds of laugh value but not much more! NEXT ON DAYS Mad Max claims he is the reincarnation of Lawrence of Arabia .. Patrick announces that he is the real Georgia ... Thursday August 25, 2005 Patrick being called a hero again by a Salem female? Are the gals in Salem now supposed to be dumb and dumber??? Phil gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT as he, Shawn, and Belle continue with their identity crisis and their whinefest but not much else ... There is nothing the matter with Olive Oyle Chelsea that a few nicely fattening meals couldn't cure! The lovely Hope could use a few extra calories too! NEXT ON DAYS Billie wonders if she might also be the long lost mother of Sailor Moon ... Wednesday August 24, 2005 Sami's personality is certainly better suited to her brunette image ... Chelsea tells Abby it is good Abby has a date as she will be less wrapped up in Chelsea's love life but Chelsea was the one who begged her to come over and listen to her story about Patrick and getting rid of Billie the competition - in HER love life! Huh???! What is up with that amnesia?! Brady gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT and yes we know he loves Chloe, that personification of vanity with a bandaid and only good hair days - and that he wants to marry her - so pulease stop rewinding the boy! How Keystone do these cops have to be, what with letting fortune teller Kate prance into Roman's office and use his confidential cop computer and when is there going to be an inquiry! NEXT ON DAYS Tony asks the Salem P.D. to help him escape and they say OK ... Tuesday August 23, 2005 Patrick gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT Chelsea gets a Look How Far I Can Now Stick Out My Chin alert ... The Marlena in cabin with original Roman storyfest is quite intriguing but for how long are they gonna talk around in circles about nothing?! I can just hear tomorrow's episode ... DR NORTH Doc, you are really ... MARLENA Yes ...? DR. NORTH Tired. MARLENA Is that bad? DR. NORTH Just ... natural ... MARLENA You look familiar. DR. NORTH It's because I'm your doctor. MARLENA Is that bad? NEXT ON DAYS Patrick grabs Caroline for a smooch and Bo punches him out ... Monday August 22, 2005 Patrick - aka the unknown brother of Beevis and Butthead - gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Billie was pretty good today as a mother and her hairdo makes her look smarter but ... an ISA agent wearing a backless top to a prison visit????! Meanwhile Kate is dressed like a fortune teller again ... Stop trying to muscle in on Celeste's turf, woman! John is one cool dude and so is that cup of coffee he keeps drinking - you know, the bottomless one that never ends, yet never needs a refill! Is he really drinking air? Stay tuned! Nicole was a bloody HOOT today! Let her be a funny villainess all the time, I say! (minus Sami, for Sami is not powerful as a villainess, she does nice better) NEXT ON DAYS Billie invites Tony to the prom ... Friday August 19, 2005 Mad Max gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT Why does Chelsea always make that strange twisted face whenever she is supposed to be annoyed? Scary! Go Vic go! But what is up with Brady playing the wronged virgin who was duped by Nicole! He was certainly a very willing partner! Was that Phil and Belle panting or did someone in the crew just happen to have a porno flick in the background and forget to turn off the sound??? NEXT ON DAYS Chelsea tells Max she really wants to be with him, but only if they go to another location, seeing as they have already been to the pool, her room, and she still needed a change of scene ... Patrick wonders if Ken Corday might be Georgia ... Thursday August 18, 2005 Mad Max, Shawn, and Phil get a SHIRTLESS ALERT That ending shot today with the two horny anti-couples of Phil/Belle and Mimi/Drunk Shawn were a tad porno, not romantic! Is it not amazing how Tony is indeed the centerpiece of Salem, this time dragged into the drab pub just to spice things up! More Count DiMera please! Billie keeps talking like an imitation of John Wayne! NEXT ON DAYS Tony is discovered to be the only high security prisoner of the Salem P.D. who gets more fan mail than the president ... |