| February 10, 2004 Enthusiastic John breaks into Vic's estate to prove what a lousy security system Vic has - but it was John himself who provided that security system in the first place!!! With Tony DiMera, his keen adversary gone, the poor guy obviously has no focus ... Paging Count DiMera ...! Do come back and rescue John from his confused state! First Salem is terrorized by a tiger, now a snake ... Stay tuned next week, when Godzilla comes looking for his favorite blonde, Marlena ... No word yet on whether Hattie is to be used as a decoy! Why do Salem's blondes keep screaming? Sami screeches about that snake and twice Belle screams about ...well, nothing! Jan was most recognizable in her clown make up, yet neither Shawn nor Belle - those wannabe sleuths - could see it was her???! Geesh! Why does seasonally challenged Nicole continually wear summer tops in winter? And Brady seems to be the man of the hour for SHIRTLESS ALERTS! February 9, 2004 According to Shawn ... Bo is acting police commander but since he's out of town, his wife Hope is now substituting for him! Tune in next week, when Hope's cousin Jennifer substitutes for Hope and takes over as acting police commander ... She, in turn, will be helped out by daughter Abbie, who will take over as lead investigator of the Salem serial killer case, which means that it might actually get solved before 2009! (the new projected close date of the current storyline) Brrr! Will's school holds a camping trip for the kids in the middle of winter??? Happy Hypothermia! Good grief! The Keystone cops all need to have their eyes checked - Shawn returns to the circus and finds that very large button which was hanging around, waiting to be found. To ensure that the lad found it, duh killer is rumored to have written CLUE on the attached torn material ... Meanwhile, John's utter cluelessness continues ... Why didn't Bo or Vic or Brady call a locksmith to get those handcuffs removed from Brady???! February 6, 2004 If the killer is not a supernatural being, what on earth is Celeste so afraid of??? Naming the killer would ensure her capture and would also ensure Celeste's safety ! Looks like Jan and Nicole will soon be making their very own GIRLS GONE WILD video! (no word on where it will be sold, though ...) Today's SHIRTLESS ALERT goes to Lucas, who also looks ready to burst out laughing in some of his scenes ... Meanwhile, Brady continues to sigh up a storm ...! February 5, 2004 Amazing how this serial killer case has not led to any extra security anywhere in Salem ... Today's SHIRTLESS ALERTS were Lucas, Brady, and Shawn (who acted like he was either cold or uncomfortable - or perhaps both!) Memo to Head Writer: Viewers are still waiting for those loopholes about Marlena being able to pull off all those killings to be explained - and no, dahling, they don't intend to wait until May for things to make sense, because they know that come May, those loopholes will still be there - and might even have multiplied ...! Even that old tv series "Batman" made more sense! (and their timeline was better, too) February 4, 2004 Jennifer was dressed just like Little Bo Peep today ... but where were her sheep ...? And will she find them before the serial killer does? Oh, the excitement continues to build ...! Those cartoonish killer's eyes do not look remotely like Marlena's eyes (except for the fact that both have eyelashes!) and that's a fact! Speaking of facts ... or lack thereof ... Hopefully that was a good stiff drink John was downing today - this poor guy's character is going to be written like Salem's most clueless sleuth for the next few months ...! Saying those lines with a straight face will be tougher than any fight scene, prison sentence, or DiMera run in he has ever encountered! February 3, 2004 For the past months, Celeste, the now quivering town psychic, felt the evil, but never when she was standing next to Marlena (?!) She should really get a refund on those Tarot cards! And since when was a psychic so afraid of the afterlife ...? "What the h*ll is going on?!" says Kate. Yes indeed ... what is going on - i.e. why was Kate speaking Brady's trademark line! Looks like Julie was wearing one of Laura Horton's old wigs today! Why does being at the hospital make Belle so ... man hungry? February 2, 2004 The Keystone Cops don't even think of watching the security cc tv (hidden recording tv camera all hospitals have) to see who visited Tony's bedside ...?!! Speaking of that "killer", it should really take just minutes to identify her, arrest her, and solve the case, seeing as there are now only about 10 people left in the whole dang town! "Duh ... think like a DiMera! I must think like a DiMera ... I am a genius ... Think like a DiMera ... I am like a DiMera ..." Once upon a time, there was a genius called Rex but then he became ... a Brady! "Duh, I must think like a DiMera ..." Will his genius ever return? Stay tuned! Be patient with one another, dahlings. Droves of people across the land today are cranky due to the fact that they are suffering the beginnings of Tony DiMera withdrawal symptoms ... The addiction cannot be substituted by wine, caffeine, or shirtless alerts - only the re-appearance of Salem's popular Count himself can provide the cure ... February 1, 2004 The role of Mimi's older brother has now been cast, which is of particular interest as Mimi does not have an older brother! Next week a casting call is also expected to go out for Belle's twin, Rex's latest set of parents, Sami's five long lost children, and Bo's new shirt ... January 30, 2004 Where are the police at the hospital? The FBI? The CIA? Inspector Clouseau? Anyone ...? Shawn's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues and Rex, who has forgotten how to be a genius, gets a brand new SHIRTLESS ALERT! Ahhhh ... grasshopper, my friend ... one should not go against the wishes of so many (i.e. Tony fans), because, in the end, the energy of many angry fans is like a strong wind that can turn back and knock you off your feet ... January 29, 2004 This is the 4th straight day in a row of his toplessness... which means that Shawn has now become nothing but a human SHIRTLESS ALERT The cop would have recognized Marlena - she is so prolific that she has even appeared on the cover of a Salem tabloid so he would not have been clueless about her identity - and he also would have heard her talking and cackling behind the curtain ... Mega-groan!!! War Eagle points out that in yesterday's episode ... "the killer putting on a pair of surgical gloves silently is an amazing feat - these gloves very much tend to squeak, even when they have powder on them ..." And that's a fact! January 28, 2004 Matron Marlena a serial killer? What next - Alice Horton a hitman? Belle a samurai ...? Speaking of Matronly Marlena ... how was she able to float over to Tony's bedside, unseen? I continue to receive complaints that the writing has gone amateur and characters are now caricatures of themselves ... that much dreaded word PASSIONS now comes to mind! But where or where is the antidote?! Tony must have hidden it somewhere at the DiMera Mansion! Meanwhile, Rex and Shawn's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues ... January 27, 2004 Cheap effects, cheesy flashbacks, a killer that breathes like Darth Vader, wacky women in a cage, and no cops around to save anyone ... It becomes more apparent by the DAY that the new intended viewers must be 13 to 15 year old boys!!! Why is Sami now written, dressed, and made up like a Bonnie in Training?????! Meanwhile, Phil, Shawn, and Rex's SHIRTLESS ALERTs continue amid this ... circus of a show! January 26, 2004 Shawn's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues ... The Salem Stalker also continues to run around this ... circus in that conspicuous white mask without being noticed by anyone! Even the tiger ignores him/her/it!!! The order of the day is blood, cheap effects, more blood ... The new target market of the show is teenage boys? Has anyone told the advertisers ...? According to Siegfried himself - one blow ... one blow is all it takes for an attacking tiger to finish off a human if the animal is truly attacking ... January 23, 2004 Good grief! Once more no one at that circus sees the very conspicuous masked, hooded serial killer hopping about? The Keystone Cops must have worse vision than Bonnie minus her contacts ...! (Was that why Doug and Julie kept laughing?) Why is every female in Salem now written like a dingbat or a wacko (or in some cases both!) How about a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T for women ...?!!!!! It is now official - Celeste is about as psychic as Jojo and Miss Cleo ... Meanwhile, Rex, Phil and Shawn's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues, as does Shawn's girlie hairdo alert! January 22, 2004 Today's SHIRTLESS ALERTS are Phil, Shawn and Rex! (Rex wins ...) So, nobody notices the nutcase in the mask (aka the killer) hobbling conspicuously around that small, very pointless circus ...! Who's dream is this? Mine? Yours? Somebody else's? (does it even matter anymore?!) January 21, 2004 Today's SHIRTLESS ALERTS are Shawn, Phil and Brady and almost everyone (male) who works at the circus! Shirtless Ringling Brothers???! Shawn states he has signed up himself and Belle for the circus ... no audition, no rehearsing????? Speaking of circus ... the first act should be John Black, aka Tigerman! (as per Marlena/Hattie's visions of his tiger morphing face ... Roar!) These Logic Bloopers are from John: When Rex was believed to be a DiMera, he was always wearing the nicest clothes, but now he finds himself a Brady, apparently he traded it all in for the leather jacket and undershirts the rest of the Brady clan has! The voice on the tape sounded nothing like Lisa Rinna (or Krista Allen for that matter) Why is it everytime we see Julie, she has a new hairstyle? One can never recognize her! WISHFUL THINKING: Wouldn't it be nice if it turns out nobody is dead, but they're all being held captive by Stefano on his island?! January 20, 2004 Bizarre and unlikely that Vic would be so wimpy about getting rid of Nicole - he would have done it a long time ago, mafia head/thug/tyrant that he be!!! Speaking of Nicole, why does she keep talking to herself - before long, she'll be conversing with an imaginary friend! Poor long suffering Brady - now they even make him have flashbacks about saying "What the h*ll is going on?"!!! Give the lad a life, pulease - or at least a new line or two! Mumble mumble mumble ... Now that Uncle Roman is gone, Shawn seems to have taken it upon himself to carry on that family tradition! When Spector tells Hope that Bo will be in danger, he is quite right - if Bo stands anywhere near him, he is in danger of catching that terrible cold Spector has in today's episode! John is one elegant dude regardles of what he's wearing but ... why do they keep dressing him like a limo driver ...? And that's a fact! January 19, 2004 So ... Celeste and "Marlena" recognize the tiger as being the very same tiger in their dream! How is that possible? How many tigers have these ladies seen in their lifetime??? Speaking of that fluffy tiger ... why would the Salem Circus wish to risk using an abused wild animal in their show?????! And isn't it just amazing how you can so easily have a tiger shipped into the U.S.! In other matters ... how many times did we hear that overused word KILLER in today's episode? Did anyone manage to count? I myself lost interest after the 20th time. Zzzzzz Crouching Tiger, Hidden John Black! John Clarke joined "Days of Our Lives" years ago, to portray Mickey Horton, but the role he now leaves is a character from "The Dukes of Hazzard" ... January 16, 2004 Kate wearing a mini-skirt to her husband's funeral ...?!! Well, he may have left the building and then returned to the building, but Agent Spector still looks like an Elvis Impersonator!!! Mysterious blood stains, dreams, visions, ghosts, premonitions, etc. still continue in Salem (which is now living up to its name), but as per the new head writer, things are not supernatural! According to him, perhaps Elvis is still alive, too, living on a secluded island with Marilyn Monroe! Or perhaps he is just linguistically challenged and has difficulty comprehending the meaning of that oh so complicated word - "supernatural." January 15, 2004 Ever since discovering he is a Brady, Rex has needed a good shave! Speaking of Rex, how on earth could he fit into Shawn's jacket, given that he is a good head taller than Shawn, and much wider than thin Shawn! Speaking of Shawn, looks like he was wearing one of papa Bo's hand-me-down shirts today! Brady continues to make his usual grand entrance into the Kiriakis mansion ... "What the h*ll is going on ...!" January 14, 2004 Memo to Writers: Dahlings, Mimi has never had an older brother, unless, of course, Mimi is not Mimi or that older brother is an imposter or she is under mind control, poor thing! Considering how Bo could not care less about police protocol and there is practically no one left on the Salem P.D. and they cannot even do an accurate killer profile (i.e. it took Tony and Vic a few seconds to figure out it was a woman), why bother having a police force at all! Why not simply give the tax payers their money back and disband these long suffering Keystone Cops?! Nicole was too far away to have heard everything Tony and Victor said, unless she is now the bionic woman with superhuman hearing ability! Oh no! They made Mickey look like Colonel Sanders again! As if losing Maggie weren't enough ... January 13, 2004 Why were so many characters in fall colors, given that it is now winter in Salem? Speaking of fashion ... for a rich girl, Belle certainly has a meager wardrobe (how many days has she been wearing that same shirt now?!)! A Tony/Victor alliance certainly promises excitement! A Nicole/Jan alliance, on the other hand, merely doubles what is already annoying, petty, and redundant about these two desperate characters. It is quite the pity, as Nicole used to have a career, life, thought process, etc. Mind you, if Nicole and Jan - still poorly written as they are - end up in the same scenes, many a viewer will find it that much easier to fastforward them! What is it they say about every cloud having a silver lining ...? That hair of Celeste's wig seems to be taking on a life of its own, the way it sticks out more by the day - might the wig be possessed! Quick! Somebody call a priest to perform an exorcism on that demonic wig! No, wait, that's not original enough! We need ... Ghostbusters! ("I ain't afraid of no ghosts!") Today's SHIRTLESS ALERT (and badly-in-need-of-a-haircut alert) goes to Shawn (D., not Shawn Sr. Shawn Sr.'s haircut is fine and he does not have shirtless alerts written into his contract ...) January 12, 2004 Well now, Abe Carver continues to be the best man to oversee law and order in Salem - even from beyond - so WHY NOT JUST BRING HIM BACK PERMANENTLY???! (and alive!) If not, we might be in for years of Commander Bo calling suspects "scum", which will no doubt put Salem on the map for having an undesirable police force ... Abe is still by far the best man to do that job! Hail to the chief! He's not a tough act to follow - but an impossible one to follow! Salem needs Abe! This Jennifer "My life is in danger during this pregnancy" storyline promises months of boredom ahead! YAWN Why was Harold not present at Tony's hearing, so as to represent the Salem Spectator and get the scoop ...? January 9, 2004 If she is not her evil twin or Hattie or possessed (or perhaps all three!) ... maniacal Marlena certainly has been overdosing on the caffeine of late! Lexie's loud, continual sniffling every time she is supposed to weep on cue - is she perhaps allergic to those tear inducing drops they put in her eyes - or did they just pour in a whole darn bottle for maximum effect??! A black coat with fake fur trim is rather chic but it does look as though Lexie, Celeste, and Jan have had the same one on these past few days! If not, then it must be the latest uniform for single Salemites who do not have the prospect of a romance anywhere in sight ... Even the mention of yet another Horton benefit makes me want to GROAN! Why don't they ever give Alice something interesting to do ... January 8, 2004 Holy Promotion! New Commander Bo discusses classified police details about the serial killing case with Tek, while civilian Shawn is present! Moments later ... Follow that Jan! Shawn, running thru Salem with his dark hair falling forward was very Tom Cruise in "The Firm"! Huff huff! Puff puff! Come to think of it, why was waddling rich girl Jan roughing it on foot anyway ...?!! January 7, 2004 Once more, Bubblehead Belle does not bother to lock her door! Is it because she is flustered by Shawn's SHIRTLESS ALERT?! Lucas' SHIRTLESS and BUFF ALERT continues ...! Meanwhile, in grieving world ... Sami's voice gets more hoarse by the day (all that yelling they make her do?) and Marlena now even walks like that dingbat Hattie! January 6, 2004 Today's SHIRTLESS and most BUFF ALERT is Lucas! Alert Alert! Still in age denial, a very pigtailed and agitated Belle exclaims that the killer doesn't just target ADULTS so she and Shawn could be next! Speaking of that bizarre Salem teen scene, since becoming a Brady, miracle of miracles, Rex has stopped having headaches! ... Meanwhile, why would Jan be sneaking around in high heels she can barely walk in? Wobble wobble! Not to be outdone in discomfort, Shawn's hair extensions continue to fall over his eyes! January 5, 2004 Memo to Director: Some people have an aversion to the sight of blood and might therefore "tune out" despite the shock value of all those pools of the red stuff! It is now official - Rex has lost his "genius" ability! He now confronts Tony with accusations befitting ... a Brady! Furthermore, Celeste asks Tony if he is responsible for killing Roman! Well, if the town psychic can't make any sense of it all, then who can ...?! Bo is still one fine looking dude, but there is not a police department on earth - or elsewhere - that would allow a cop who is not undercover to sport such long locks of hair ... January 2, 2004 A cufflink - particularly a heavy gold one - would have sunk the second it fell onto that soft powdery snow, so it would not have been visible to anyone! Roman stands there in a daze, waiting for the killer to strike - too shocked he was, for too long, as though he was staring at his bride, "Marlena" (Hattie) ... or his lookalike! Is there anyone in Salem these days who does not have a black hood which looks like it has been stolen from a Dark Ages monastery???! The Brass have claimed that DAYS is a show for upscale young women primarily ... ah, so that explains why Bonnie gets so much airtime ... NOT! Unless, of course, her primary function is to make a laughing stock of the less fortunate in life - something we sincerely hope is not the case. December 31, 2003 Once more proving that they have a reputation to uphold as Keystone Cops, Salem's "finest" don't even bother to look under the big bleeding cake, to see if someone (i.e. duh killer) might be hiding there ... and why does our killer keep breathing like DARTH VADER, unless, of course, he IS DARTH VADER, who happened to stray onto the wrong set, mistaking Roman for a somewhat aged Luke Skywalker ...!!! Bonnie, meanwhile, continues to insist that she is Princess Leia ... Happy New Year, dahlings, and May The Force Be With You! December 30, 2003 In today's episode ... Sami appears to have 2 black eyes, Jennifer looks just like a synchronized swimmer, and no way could Bonnie ever fit into one of Maggie's dresses! To further confuse viewers, Shawn has started to talk/gesture/act like Columbo, Rex has been given an identical hairstyle to Will's Dennis the Menace "do", and John Black's stiff white collar looks like that of a priest! (a sign of things to come, perhaps?) Kate, meanwhile, gets married with an elegant pair of drapes hanging from her arms that look like they might have been lifted from the DiMera mansion when that very slow moving maid - who has been known to take an entire episode just to climb a flight of stairs - was not looking ... December 29, 2003 Yikes! The Salem P.D. is even speeding up like the Keystone Cops! They leapt into action today, acting on suspect Rex's hot tip, and nabbed their latest "man" Tony. Why? Because Rex said so! But wait! Sleuthing Belle, that profound supporter of days of the week underwear and other such worthy causes, wonders if Tony might have been set up ... Shawn then kisses Belle to celebrate. Confused? Apparently TPTB have called this pair the "money couple." What might that mean? Matching piggybanks ...?! Stay tuned! Meanwhile, Vic, Nicole and Chloe were all very impressed today by Brady's very long ... SHIRTLESS ALERT! December 26, 2003 If Rex is such a genius, why does he assume his message is the only one sent in all of Salem at the time Tony's pda beeps! Today's SHIRTLESS ALERT is John Black! And that's a fact! Speaking of facts ... it is also becoming more and more apparent that Mr. New Head Writer has decided to deviate from his public plan of NOT making the show supernatural, in an attempt to cover up all of the storyline inconsistencies and bungled facts!!! BOO! P.S. Rumor has it that a casting call has gone out for the role of Casper the Ghost ... December 25, 2003 Well, dahlings, seeing as it is Christmas today, we won't mention how subplots have vanished, Mickey needs to join whisperers anonymous, and viewers were mega-duped by being informed there would be an engagement over the holiday season (they just failed to mention the groom would be murdered on his wedding day - gee, how romantic!) We will hold our tongues today, given that it is Christmas, but fear not, our catty bloopers will be back in fine form as early as tomorrow - no holds barred!! Merry Christmas to all from the Days Cafe! December 24, 2003 All that snow fell on Salemites today but not a single snowflake was wet or melted! Nice cotton! Speaking of winter ... when will it be explained to viewers why John Black is sporting a suntan in the middle of December - unless, of course, he secretly stole away to the Caribbean to look for poor lost Caprice!! Not likely that Shawn would give his virgin girlfriend lingerie IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS!!! December 23, 2003 Marlena continues to act like Hattie (perhaps "Hattie" is the last "victim", when John kills her) Good heavens! If Hattie is indeed the killer ... then this means that the rest of "T'was the Night Before Christmas" might come true as well! Why were Kate and John wearing matching grey suits at their offices today at Basic BLACK?!! Today's SHIRTLESS ALERTs are for Lucas ( who is a very tough act to follow!) and Shawn. Lucas' BUFF ALERT still continues ... maybe that explains why flustered Sami happily ambled off to her apartment clutching her mug of coffee, but not her keys!!! December 22, 2003 Today's SHIRTLESS ALERT is Lucas! Alert Alert! He also warrants a BUFF ALERT!! Otrivin anyone? Why does Belle ALWAYS sound like she has a cold??? Once again, Rex's superhuman strength has vanished - and Bonnie's ketchup is a more lethal weapon against the "killer" than Roman's gun???! December 19, 2003 That is one SLOOOOOW moving serial killer, whose movements are nothing like the fast, strong individual that Hope fought ...!!! SHIRTLESS ALERT for both Shorn and Rex today! Alert! Alert! December 18, 2003 Today's verrry long SHIRTLESS ALERT was Shorn! (ok Shawn but somebody still needs to tell that Jan how to speak the name of her obsession) The newest addition to Salem's Keystone Cops let the killer escape today - he should fit into the police department very well!! Why was the "Killer" suddenly so weak with Sami? (must have been that KRYPTONITE she had in her bag!) December 17, 2003 Today's SHIRTLESS ALERT was Rex! Alert Alert! Judging from tomorrow's preview, Big Bird (aka Nicole) will soon be the recipient of her very own shirtless alert as well ... Bonnie's grotesque daydreams have really got to STOP (or a lot of viewers will!) And that's a fact! December 16, 2003 If Jan is so hung up on Shawn, why doesn't she bother to learn his name - she continues to refer to him as "SHORN"!!! Is something stuck in her mouth perhaps ...? Why do Salemites keep standing around talking about the killer and repeating themselves? Doesn't anybody go to work anymore?!! December 15, 2003 Man oh man! What was the point of today's episode, other than the fact that LUCAS SAYS BOO TO SAMI???!! And how many times will viewers have to listen to Roman repeat the words "serial killer" before the poor guy meets his maker ...?! December 12, 2003 Looks like today's SHIRTLESS ALERT starts with Shawn and Phil but then extends to all of Salem U!!! Was that a Guiness World Record???!! Who poured that oil all over Jan's head??! Sami would be smart enough to figure out that Kate's computer would indicate the date that new file was saved, so why didn't she change the date of her computer while saving the dang thing???! December 11, 2003 Yikes! Why do Salem's blondes keep falling into that grave?! (first Marlena, now Sami!) Speaking of Marlena ... she smoothly convinces the Keystone cops to work with John to find the killer, BUT JOHN WAS ALREADY ASSIGNED TO THE SALEM P.D. TO HELP DO JUST THAT! A fact that everyone seems to have forgotten! If Vic wants to keep Nic away from Brady, why doesn't he just kick her out of the Kiriakis mansion so she will no longer live under the same roof as him! Guess his new spiritual adviser - i.e. the fortune cookie - never told him that! December 10, 2003 Brady laments to Caroline's grave that he never knew his mother Isabella, BUT HE SURE SPENT A GREAT DEAL OF TIME HANGING AROUND HER GHOST AT THE LOFT, WHICH HE SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN!!! Why do cops Bo and Hope barge in and announce to Roman all the details of the message they just got from the killer, IN FRONT OF THE SUSPECTS!!! The confused writers must think they are writing for the next Inspector Clouseau film ... If Clouseau were here, he would probably tell them to "Stop acting like a minkey!" (monkey) Looks more and more like Vic is trying out for a part in the next "Grumpy Old Men" sequel! December 9, 2003 Holy Torso! Today we have 3 SHIRTLESS ALERTS! Lovable Lucas, Randy Rex, and Burly Bo! Alert! Alert! Alert! P.S. "randy" is British slang for ... er ... passionate, shall we say?!! Why didn't Hope tell Shawn that he shouldn't wear a black undershirt with his white shirt! Speaking of fashion faux pas ... why was Jan wearing one of Celeste's hats, and did psychic Celeste know about it??? Ah, where are those vibes when you need them! In today's epi (episode), Roman doth sound a tad sloshed - good for him! We could all use a good stiff drink to get thru some of this stuff! December 8, 2003 When he reaches for the doorknob of the shipping and receiving door at Salem Place (where Jan is hiding), Shawn's hair is falling forward, styled so as to partially cover his face, but ... seconds later, when his hand touches the doorknob, HE IS SPORTING AN ALTOGETHER DIFFERENT HAIRSTYLE, with his hair styled back from his face!!! The good news is that later, at Bo and Hope's place, he is once more sporting his original hairstyle, with his hair falling stylishly forward (what a busy day the hairstylist who followed him round Salem must have had!) So ... where is Kate's lawyer? Speaking of duh serial killer mystery, given that the Keystone Cops have thus far botched the investigation by sharing details wih family members, ignoring vital clues, accepting tampered evidence, etc ... WHY HAS THE F.B.I. NOT TAKEN OVER THE INVESTIGATION! Who on the writing staff is suggesting to new Head Writer Reilly to try old, unsuccessful, recycled storylines that have already flopped (i.e. Jan trying to break up Shawn and Belle), or are they merely the result of his own "genius"? Speaking of Jan, why does the makeup dept keep making her look like Popeye's girlfriend, OLIVE OYL??! December 5, 2003 Looks like the higher ups are hoping some of Bo's machismo will rub off on lad Shawn D., WHICH MUST BE WHY THEY WERE BOTH WEARING THE SAME BLACK UNDERSHIRT IN TODAY'S EPISODE!!! Why do the writers keep giving poor Sami THE SAME OLD LINES, DAY IN, DAY OUT?!! Dead Caroline's hair was the loveliest on the show again today - t'would seem the hairstylists on the other side are much better than the ones here on earth! Maybe one of them can give poor Jan's hair a much needed shampoo! In an attempt to perhaps prove that no one on staff has a thang for half naked men under the age of 30, certain powerful influences decided to give John Black a SHIRTLESS ALERT today (his first one in years!) Alert! Alert! December 4, 2003 That seance was great; however, in a REAL seance, if there is a non-believer (i.e. Roman) in the circle, the spirits will not come, so the medium must send the non-believer from the room!!! And that's a fact! Who put that Farrah Fawcett wig on Jennifer's not very tall person today???! "Marlena" continues to make Hattie like statements like - "Man oh man", "Baby, baby, baby", etc.!!! December 3, 2003 What on earth is Big Bird - aka Nicole the half drunk wannabe flashdance extra - so darn smug about anyway???! What a teaser - BRING BACK ABE ALREADY! HAVE WE NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH?! Todays most sweaty SHIRTLESS ALERT is Brady! Alert! Alert! Speaking of Brady, loads of perplexed DAYS viewers are wondering the same thing - how come he and his real life wife have NO camera chemistry?! Looks like everything is backwards in TVland! December 2, 2003 Tony states "I'm going to call the Medical Examiner, to make sure Cassie is well taken care of" BUT IT'S A LITTLE LATE CONSIDERING THE POOR GIRL IS ALREADY COLD STONE DEAD! Writer's Blooper! Grammatically Challenged Mimi tells Rex she couldn't bear it if something happened to "one of my brothers" but she only has ONE brother! Why was Jan taking all those photographs of Philip's rear end ...?!! |
| Logic BLOOPERS! |
 |
| The DAYS OF OUR LIVES Cafe Proudly Presents ... |
 |
| Keystone Cops |