| THE SALEM INTRUDER Headlines for this Week's Edition SALEM'S TOP TABLOID! STEFANO’S HAND GETS HIGHER RATINGS THAN HOWIE MANDELL’S HEAD! JOHN BLACK ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED ABDUCTION OF KING TUT! WONKY WILLOW BLOWS UP SET BUT FORGETS TO LEAVE FIRST! OLD FOOTAGE OF PHIL DISCOVERED IN MICHAEL JACKSON THRILLER VIDEO! MEGA-SHOCKER: VICTOR KIRIAKIS IS REALLY HENDERSON WITH MASK! RUMSFELD REPORTEDLY IN THE RUNNING TO PLAY DR. ROLF! EJ OVERHEARD CONVERSING WITH STEFANO’S ELBOW! INTERNATIONAL SCANDAL: IRAN CLAIMS CRUISE OF DECEPTION NEVER HAPPENED! CHAVEZ GIVES SPEECH AT U.N., DEMANDING RETURN OF SOVIET STAN! PATCH REMEMBERS HE USED TO BE ON GENERAL HOSPITAL! BONNIE LOCKHART INDICTED FOR STEALING KIDS’ TOOTH FAIRY MONEY! E-COLI OUTBREAK LINKED TO 10 YEAR OLD BURGERS AT HUDSON STREET DINER! RICO IS BORAT’S EVIL TWIN! |
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| December 12, 2006 Salem's Weather: Snow starts to fall as sleeping Stefano vows revenge on ANYONE WHO LIFTS ANY OF THESE JOKES! |