| THE SALEM INTRUDER Headlines for this Week's Edition SALEM'S TOP TABLOID! DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER GIVES PATCH POINTERS ON HOW TO CUFF A FELON HIDING IN MEXICO! CONNOR LOCKHART IS NEW AMERICAN IDOL! MR. BONES IS PUT ON FIVE YEAR CONTRACT! DIMERAS RESPONSIBLE FOR WINDY STORM IN EUROPE! ROSIE O'DONNELL DENOUNCES VICTOR KIRIAKIS' HAIRSTYLE! SAMI BRADY AWARDED NOBEL PRIZE AT BRADY PUB! WILLOW CLAIMS SHE IS PREGNANT WITH TRIPLETS - EACH FROM A DIFFERENT MAN OF SALEM! STEFANO DISCOVERED VACATIONING IN CUBA, READY TO SEIZE REIGNS OF POWER AND CONVERT ISLAND INTO NEW DIMERA COMPOUND! NICK GETS STUCK IN PHONE BOOTH AND MORPHS INTO SUPERMAN! SHAWN AND BELLE ARRESTED IN TORONTO FOR NOT KNOWING NAME OF LOCAL HOCKEY TEAM! EJ CRASHES BIG BROTHER SET AND BEGS STUNNER SHILPA SHETTY FOR DATE! |
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| January 19, 2007 Salem's Weather: Hurricane EJ vows to blow wind on ANYONE WHO LIFTS ANY OF THESE JOKES! |